Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
But... it’s Heather Graham... and a Bollywood remake of GREASE... how can that not be brilliant?
Harry,
Last night I was able to see a sneak preview of The Guru. I thought you might want to post a dissenting review from the one you already posted. Anyway, here it is:
Less then a month into the new year, and I can safely say that The Guru will definately make my list of the top ten WORST movies of the year 2003.
The Guru is an awful mess. The story goes as such: Indian dance teacher Ramu Gupta ( Jimi Mistry) Leaves his home in India to come to America to seek fame and fortune and the "American Dream." Of course when he gets over here he finds out that acheiving that is not as easy as it is in the movies. He starts by working for minimum wage in an Indian resturaunt, the only place he can get work. He then gets hired to star in a porn film. Deciding he's not cut out for that work he finally acheives fame, fortune and the "American Dream." by becoming a sex Guru, counceling middle aged people on how to have better sex. He's able to acheive all this success with the help of flighty, new-aged, Lexi, played (poorly) by Marisa Tomei. And throughout the entire movie, he experiences the classic boy meets girl, boy looses girl, boy gets girl back seconds before she's supposed to marry the wrong guy, classic plot structure. Said girl is Heather Graham who plays the "Porn Star with the heart of gold," whose name is Sharona.
The worst part about The Guru, is that it could have been good. I mean really good. The basic premise, an Indian trying to make it in Hollywood, could have been a very funny comedy that actually was SAYING something about the star system in Hollywood.
Another road they could have taken with this movie, was to forget the whole Guru storyline and stuck with the Ramu charecter becoming a Porn Star. The few scenes that depict this are genuinly funny. And really the only humor in the whole movie. That movie could have been freakin hilarious. But instead we get a largely unfunny mess. Yes, I did laugh several times during the course of the movie. But, when I see a comedy, I want more then just a few laughes.
It's shocking how uneven the humor is here. On the rare instance when something is funny. It is very funny. There's a line when an agent refers to Ramu as an Indian, stops himself and says "I'm sorry, you prefer Native American." THAT is funny. But othertimes it has to rely on the sight of half-naked old people, (Much more disturbing then funny.) or, dear Lord, Macarena jokes to get "laughs." Jokes about the Macarena? What year is this, 1997? The Guru makes light of the Macarena, not once, not twice, but three seperate times. Macarana Jokes weren't even that funny when the song came out. They're certainly not funny now.
Simply put, The Guru is a waste of space. It comes down in the catagory of "I would not wipe my ass with this movie." In only maybe the third time in all my years of movie watching have I actually considered leaving a movie theatre in the middle of a movie.
That being said, I must be completly honest, the rest of the audience LOVED this movie. Everyone else in the theatre, pretty much all of whom were at least twenty years my senior, enjoyed themselves. I can't imagine why. But they did. So maybe I'm missing something about this movie.
... No, I'm not. This is a horrible movie. Don't see it.
Sincerely,
Superfuld
Oh. That’s how.
"Moriarty" out.
