Hey folks, Harry here with a not so enthusiastic review of JUST MARRIED - in fact it seems the movie is one of those mediocre non-memorable flicks that just seems to kill the time it takes to watch it, while offering nothing really to remember or hold onto. Ouch. Here ya go...
Hey Harry, long time reader, first time writer etc, etc... Last night I was at a preview for what was billed as "the first big comedy of 2003," Just Married. I think the only reason that this will be the first big comedy is because Adaptation and About Schmidt, two movies the could kind of be considered comedies, have technically already opened in limited release.
I went because I was bored and I've already seen Gangs of NY, Catch Me If You Can, and LOTR. This town is shit for movies so none of the great ones in limited release have opened here, more on that later. It was not really a bad movie, it's just that we've seen these jokes before and this movie is full of "trailer moments".
The main piece of originality in this movie is that it starts with the marriage on the rocks and then tells the bulk of the story in flashback. Ashton Kutcher plays Tom, a traffic guy on the graveyard shift, who meets Sarah played by the incredibly hot Brittany Murphy when he hits her in the head with a football at the beach. Then, a couple months later, they decide to get married after Tom accidentally kills Sarah's dog and blames it on a crazy pigeon. Sarah's uber-rich parents hate Tom and want her to marry her ex, Peter Prentis played by Christian Kane. They all hope the marriage will fail and Sarah will come to her senses. At the wedding, Tom's best friend who I think was named Mike gives him a somewhat funny speech about why not to get married, the main gist of which was given away in the trailers. Meanwhile, Sarah's sister played by Monet Mazur tries to talk her into marrying Peter.
Both Tom and Sarah insist that they love the other and get married. Things immediately start to go wrong and Sarah is worried because they don't have sex on their wedding night. This idea comes up periodically throughout the movie. They then set off for a honeymoon in Europe and arrive there after breaking a Stewardess's nose while trying to join the mile-high club. They make a short stop in France and end up in Venice after getting kicked out of their hotel and losing their car. Peter arrives in Venice and tries to win back Sarah, things go wrong, and the marriage starts to fall apart.
The movie is directed by Shawn Levy who also directed Big Fat Liar and is written by Sam Harper who wrote Rookie of the Year ten years ago. There is probably a reason for this. He was probably watching the dozens of other comedies like this and taking notes on what was funny so that he could write those ideas into his movie. I sound as if I hated this movie, I didn't really hate it. It's not that awful, Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy are likeable actors and try their best. However, Kutcher plays the not-so-bright character we've seen him play in the far better Dude Where's My Car and on That 70's Show. There are some funny moments in this movie and it is an okay way to spend your 95 min. My main problem with this movie is that it opens on the same weekend as Adaptation and Narc.
Those movies deserve to be seen while this could easily be a rental, at the most a matinee. Luckily for me, this movie will soon be out of my memory as I have lined up Bowling for Columbine tomorrow, About Schmidt on saturday, Rodger Dodger on wednesday, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind on thursday, and then Adaptation and Narc both open on the 10th. The only reason I actually have a chance to see half of these movies is because this town is home of the NC School of the Arts. If it weren't for that the two huge theaters that mainly show the exact same mainstream bullshit would make this town movie going purgatory, but I digress.
Overall I'd give Just Married a 2 out of 5. It's not an awful movie, it's a good date movie for people who don't know any better, but it opens the same weekend of two far better movies. I'm out.
Adrian
