Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

Yahoo! doesn’t even acknowledge that this one is opening today, despite the fact that it’s on, oh, about 293 more screens that ADAPTATION. Has Dimension done such a good job of underselling this film that it has literally become invisible?

Not if our very own Mr. Beaks has anything to do with it...

So, what are y’all goin’ to see this weekend?

Folks in L.A. and New York City will no doubt flocking to ADAPTATION, while the rest of you are probably looking for a reason to avoid the warmed over likes of ANALYZE THAT or EMPIRE.

Might I interest you in some EQUILIBRIUM?

Faithful readers of this site should be familiar with this film since both Moriarty and I have praised it in prior reviews here and here. And though Dimension has been wallpapering magazines and television via the biggest advertising blitz since XXX, I’m worried it’s possible that a few of you have yet to hear about this smart blending of 1984, BRAVE NEW WORLD, FARENHEIT 451 and THE MATRIX from writer/director Kurt Wimmer.

Why should you see EQUILIBRIUM?

For starters, it’s a brainy, exciting work of science-fiction that the studios don’t normally make without big names attached; the kind of modestly-budgeted genre effort for which studio execs figure there isn’t much of an audience. They look at the tepid returns of world-beaters like WING COMMANDER, DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS and IMPOSTER, and decide that, since you won’t shell out $8 - $10 to watch shit, you’ve little interest in the genre altogether. In fact, Bob Weinstein has already made this decision for you. While he has no compunction in forcing company jewels like THEY or HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION down your throat, Bruisin’ Bob has made sure EQUILIBRIUM is doomed to failure by dumping it on 301 screens, all but ensuring that it won’t make a dent at the box office. He’s essentially telling you that the movie he is spending money to put in theaters this weekend is not worth your time. I guess he’d rather you wait for THE CROW ?: WE LOST COUNT.

Let’s send ol’ Bob a message, shall we?

Obviously, on only 300 screens, many of you will find it difficult to track EQUILIBRIUM down, so what the film needs to do this weekend is post a high per-screen average that will signal to Dimension that there’s some love out there for their cinematic black sheep. In other words, those of you in the larger markets need to round up your friends and hit the theaters harder than Jim Brown knocking out a racist sheriff. If you’re having trouble selling your pals on this movie, let me make it easy for you...

EQUILIBRIUM has the best choreographed action sequences of the year.

If they need any further prodding send them over to the eminent CHUD.com, where Herr Kommandant Nick Nunziata has tirelessly raved over it. Also, the ubiquitous Smilin’ Jack Ruby sat down with Kurt Wimmer for a highly informative two-part interview (here and here). And keep an eye out for Ebert & Roeper, where it will apparently be receiving “two thumbs up”.

I don’t want to see this movie go the way of BELOW, another very good Dimension release that was dumped due to the precious lack of boobs, blood or Wes Craven’s name. EQUILIBRIUM deserves better. And if we all turn out for it, maybe the execs will begin to realize the audience deserves better, too.

Faithfully submitted,

Mr. Beaks

That’ll do, Beaks. That’ll do.

"Moriarty" out.