Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
This is the last thing I’m editing for this morning, since my computer just ate about half the morning’s update. Rather than cursing and kicking things until I wake my girlfriend, I think I’ll just leave you in the capable hands of the TalkBack League, and I’ll try to reconstruct the rest of the morning’s work for you later today...
Cormorant here, and by accident or design, it’s apparently DC week here at Casa del @$$hole. Even Buzz’s retro-review of the SANDMAN MYSTER THEATRE trade paperback (holy hell was that a great comic!) is from the DC pantheon, and Ambush Bug has some DC-‘riffic casting picks for a hypothetical Green Lantern movie in this week’s edition of the @$$hole Casting Couch. As for me, I go apeshit over the latest issue of THE FLASH and invite readers to do the same. Now if it happens that you’re some kind of anti-DC subversive type, or don’t like superheroes at all, you’ll still wanna check out the retro-review of Brian Bendis’ FORTUNE & GLORY, and you could sneak back to last week’s column to check out Lizzybeth’s coverage of some of the funny-as-a-mofo self-published books that were sent to us here at @$$hole HQ.
And did I mention that this is an unusually short week for our reviews? Considering how much we love our own voices here, it’s a rarity I assure you, but I guess that’s what happens when half the staff comes down with the clap. TalkBackers, we’re counting on YOU to take up the slack with lots of witty and incisive comments, or at least some good old-fashioned flame wars!
WONDER WOMAN #186
Words & Pencils: Phil Jimenez
Inks: Andy Lanning
Colors: Trish Mulvihill
Published by: DC Comics
Reviewed by: superninja
Wonder Woman remains an icon, despite the fact that after all of these years, solid characterization still eludes her.
In post-Crisis DC, I would argue that while George Perez's run was groundbreaking, it did nothing for the character of Wonder Woman herself, other than give her a more interesting playground by taking her back to her mythological roots. And every writer since (including Byrne) has left the readers with many stories, some good, some bad, but with no real character to speak of.
Who is Wonder Woman? The question may sound silly, but for a character that is often portrayed as one part of a triumvirate of DC's greatest heroes (the other two being Superman and Batman) and built up to be important in the DC mythos, you'd think they'd get around to it already.
Phil Jimenez came onto this title with great ideas and lots of enthusiasm, but none of it has come together for me. A better name for this title, in fact, would be something like, "Adventures of the Amazons." It features a large supporting cast, most of whom are characters more human and interesting than Wonder Woman herself - Donna Troy, Wonder Girl, Queen Hippolyta, her Amazon general Phillipus, and Artemis.
I've followed Jimenez's Wonder Woman run off and on since he first began with the very intriguing but overstuffed "Gods of Gotham" storyline (which is currently collected in trade format). Jimenez has used his run to completely linearize the past of Wonder Woman into something that can be built on in the present.
My only problem is: why is Wonder Woman the most boring character in the title?
All of the nostalgia and energy Jimenez brings to the book is lost on the fact that it revolves around an empty character, devoid of personality. She reminds me of an ongoing Lichtenstein exhibit: Wonder Woman wide-eyed, with a thought bubble saying, "I'll call you Trevor, I promise!" That's the range of emotion here.
This issue is no exception. The pop-opera antics continue as Wonder Woman and friends try to find Vanessa, the NEW Silver Swan, who has disappeared along with the NEW Cheetah (Ballesteros, an Argentinean corporate mogul who sold his soul to the cat god in exchange for powers beyond those of mortal men). We get a lot of backstory on Ballesteros (the Argentinean Lex Luthor), which leads to the original female Cheetah, Barbara Minerva, hunting down the male usurper for revenge. There's also some mundane "state of affairs" business on Amazon island to bring the reader up to date, and Diana trying to moralize with the imprisoned Circe, who's a culprit in all of these events. Sound convoluted? It is.
Jimenez's art evokes the Perez run, but it doesn't have the vitality. It's definitely nice to look at, and I appreciate the fact that Jimenez draws each character as an individual, but I'm still searching for Wonder Woman. Jimenez is going to be followed by Walt Simonson, whose run will feature penciling by Jerry Ordway. Greg Rucka, who did a lot for Batman, is supposed to take over after Simonson. Hopefully, one of them will answer my question.
Who is Wonder Woman?
SANDMAN MYSTERY THEATRE: THE TARANTULA (TPB)
written by Matt Wagner
art by Guy Davis and David Hornung
published by Vertigo/DC
reviewed by Buzz Maverik
Man, when a comic book is good, it can be insanely good! SANDMAN MYSTERY THEATRE was one of those books! It didn't sucker punch you by trying to redefine the comics medium, it just did what it did very well.
I first heard of the series when it was given the nod by Harlan Ellison in one of the occasional interviews he does about comics. I'm a huge Ellison fan. I'd be proud to be numbered among the Friends of Ellison any day. I figured that if the book was good enough for Ellison, a man who never shies away from speaking or writing his mind, it would be good enough for me. And it is! I also have a friend who had dropped comics for a long time who got back into them because of SANDMAN MYSTERY THEATRE, another signal that this is a series worth checking out.
MYSTERY THEATRE dealt with the exploits of the original Sandman, a guy named Wesley Dodd who fought crime in New York City between World Wars. Dodd falls into the comic book archetype of Mystery Man, along with Batman, the Shadow, the Question, the Spirit and Rorschach. He's a regular guy in a suit, overcoat, gloves, fedora and gas mask. He carries a gun that shoots sleeping gas and generally, he skulks around conducting an investigation. He does not engage in unrealistic acrobatics or fisticuffs and we don't see him going up against concentrated gunfire. If there were real costumed crimefighters, they'd probably carry on very much like Dodd does here in MYSTERY THEATRE.
Out of costume, Dodd is almost a pudgy figure, sensitive and bookish. You have to admire a character who spends an afternoon in the dining room of the famed Algonquin getting to know his love interest/sidekick and instead of lusting or romanticizing, he mourns the plight of intelligent women denied the encouragement and opportunities that men are given.
THE TARANTULA is a mix of noir and modern horror. It's SEVEN meets THE BIG SLEEP. The Tarantula character looks like a black garbed Klansman and he abducts and murders women. But the story is woven around old time Meyer Lansky-style gangsters, James Ellroy-type cops, socialites, and noble city fathers. It's CHINATOWN meets BATMAN (and if that sounds like a movie pitch, this collection would make a great movie, one that would be ruined by Hollywood).
Guy Davis' art is moody. It seems to come out of an era that never existed in comics but should have. None of his characters are classically beautiful, but they fit the style and look of the period with different notions of glamour and sophistication. Davis make the Sandman's appearances weird and menacing in their drama. Sandman intimidates not because he looks so fierce, but because he looks so unusual.
There's a lot of talk about realism in comics these days. That usually means the same tired superhero wears black leather instead of a costume, or commits the same impossible feats against Al Qaeda terrorists that he normally would against supervillains.
SANDMAN MYSTERY THEATRE: THE TARANTULA...now that's a realistic comic.
FLASH #192
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: Scott Kolins
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
I’m still surprised that Geoff Johns’ new direction for THE FLASH isn’t a better seller. Sure, the last two or three issues have felt a wee bit flat in comparison to the ball-bustingly cool “Rogues” multi-parter that preceded them, but the book remains one of the strongest solo superhero books on the market, and this latest issue fires up a new storyline that has me as enthused as I’ve been since the book first hooked me. My theory is that most superhero fans decide whether or not they like the Flash character early on in their fandom, and because his powers seem kinda limited, many of ‘em give him up as a lost cause unless a big name writer like Mark Waid happens to be fronting his book. Actually…err…that pretty much describes my approach to the character, so I guess I’m just glad that I took an initial gamble on Johns’ run based on word-of-mouth. If I hadn’t, I’d be just as clueless as you lunkheads out there who aren’t buying the book.
Okay, okay, that was a little harsh, so let’s all just calm down for a minute and we’ll look at how the latest issue sums up much of what makes the book cool:
As the story opens, two guards are shooting the breeze atop one of the watchtowers at the Iron Heights prison (the lock-up for all the scumbags of Flash’s home city). The hum of a prop-driven plane overhead catches their attention and, looking up, they spot massive shapes parachuting from the plane in the moonlight. Suddenly, BOOM!, we cut to the splash page of giant, feral, mind-controlled gorillas slamming down on the towers, obliterating the guard rooms under their weight! It’s bye-bye to the prison guards, but at least they went out on a really cool splash page drawn by the inimitable Scott Kolins. And that, my friends, is how you open a superhero comic old school style. Unlike some of his contemporaries, Johns isn’t afraid to revel in the wilder aspects of the superhero genre, but lest readers be inclined to laugh at concepts like giant, feral, mind-controlled gorillas, he makes ‘em scary as shit. In fact, he’s turned practically every member of Flash’s Rogues Gallery into scoundrels to be reckoned with – no mean feat considering it’s home to names like the Pied Piper, Captain Boomerang, and (shudder) Cicada!
Naturally, the presence of mind-controlled monkeys means that the telepathic Gorilla Grodd is back on the prowl. It’s rare that the superhero cliché of the “villain’s return” actually gets my blood pumpin’, but based on Grodd’s devastating previous appearance in FLASH and Johns’ discussion of the character in interviews, I’m genuinely excited to see what happens next. Johns has turned Grodd into a raging monster, more brutal than he’s been depicted in the past, yet his animalistic side is counterbalanced by a cruel intellect. It’s a strong combo, and what’s more, Grodd pitched a Volkswagen through a building to try and kill some kids in his previous appearance. Moments like that just win me over!
As I was reading the issue, it occurred to me that it was Johns’ approach, not the situations themselves, that were getting me fired up. Consider the staging when Wally “The Flash” West first gets the call for help: he’s chatting with his wife in bed when the phone rings in the last panel of the page, and when you flip to the next page, West is actually vaulting out his window, Flash-energy crackling around him, and barreling down the side of his apartment! The telephone conversation is related after the fact in narrative captions that overlay a montage of Flash exploding across town at top speed. As a result, what could’ve been a slow, expository update is transformed into a rip-roaring visual sequence.
As an aside here, I must also compliment Johns’ handling of Wally’s marriage. One of my biggest superhero pet peeves of late is the creative stagnancy of writers who can’t figure out how to make heroes’ lives dramatic without killing, crippling, or continually threatening their loved ones, but in THE FLASH, we actually have a relatively happy marriage and a wife who’s far from a victim. I could’ve kissed Johns (in that Russian, friendly sort of way) after reading this snippet from a recent interview:
”I think it is possible to write a good marriage in comic books, and not make it sappy or boring… If we have Wally and Linda not argue, people will say that there’s no conflict, but I think you can have a different kind of conflict and a different kind of relationship that can be fun and loving. When Mark [Waid] set up their relationship, he had Wally and Linda work really hard to stay together, and you can’t just throw that away.”
Preach it, my brother. It’s fantastic to see a superhero writer who’s hip deep in creative stories without dismantling what’s come before. It’s also kind of scary that that’s actually the exception these days, but it’s by damn worth a salute!
The rest of the issue is given over to Flash’s break-in to and investigation of the locked-down prison, and it’s a taut mixture of creepy exploration punctuated with moments of violence and danger. The brutal conditions of Iron Heights and the sadistic, mysterious nature of its warden have turned the place into one of my favorite new DC locales - far more interesting these days than Arkham Asylum. I’m anxious to learn more of its secrets as the story arc progresses.
Final judgment: Alright you close-minded, anti-Flash people, I know you’re out there! Once I was even one of you! But you remember how Daredevil was sort of this obscure hero before Frank Miller appeared, and then suddenly the book was bad-ass and everyone jumped on board? Or how the Hulk had fallen into obscurity until Peter David stepped in? Or how Green Arrow was all but forgotten until Kevin Smith turned his book into DC’s best-selling title of last year? Well, my friends, that’s the exact kind of turnaround that’s going on in THE FLASH right now, so put your anti-speedster prejudices aside and give this issue a go. You know you could use a change of pace from all those Batman, X-Men, and Spider-Man books you buy…
FANTASTIC FOUR #63
Written by Mark Waid
Art by Mike Wieringo, Karl Kesel, & Paul Mounts
Published by Marvel Comics
(Jon Quixote + Smart Storytelling) ÷ Fun Art = Positive Review
Product: HEROES REBORN. Factors: Jim Lee, Fading Readership, Publicity Stunt. Memory: Subtracting.
Product: HEROES RETURN. Factors: High-Profile Relaunch, Chris Claremont, Technet. Memory: Subtracting.
Product: FANTASTIC FORCE. Factors: Feces, Feces, Initial Sales of YOUNGBLOOD, & Feces. Memory: (thank God) Subtracting.
Mark Waid is doing it. He is making me forget just how crappy FANTASTIC FOUR has been for the past decade. We’re talking very, very crappy. PHANTOM MENACE crappy. Liefeld crappy. And I’ve been pretty unforgiving of it, especially in my review (it’s also the column with V.I.’s Archie/Gatsby classic!!) of the last issue before Waid came aboard. But now, all is forgotten. Waid has brought the FF back to their roots: high-concept adventure, family values and conflicts, and amazing characterization. I’m having fun again. I’m loving the characters. I’m wanting to hang out with the team. I’m still thinking about the comic after I put it down.
And I’m learning math! What more could anybody ask for?
But I want to focus this review on what I would consider the biggest reason for Waid’s initial success here.
Reed Richards.
Though a team book, the Fantastic Four has always had a star, a featured player that the creative team either “gets” better than anybody else, or simply favors. Early on, this star was the Torch. The Torch got the Spider-Man sparring time, was initially the feature character in MARVEL TEAM-UP, and even scored his own mini-series. During Byrne’s landmark run, the star was the Thing, the character who, more than any other in his entire career, Byrne defined. In the 90’s, Sue got the prime time, although most of it was devoted to her midriff, a post-natal marvel that makes Shania Twain look like Melanie Griffith.
But Reed always got the shaft. For most of my lifetime, the writers on FF always seemed to be intimidated by him, or unsure how to handle him, or even disdainful of him – how many times has he been killed off? And, really, this is an understandable reaction: how do you write a character who is that much smarter than you? So, most of the time, they didn’t. He was a bland, boring archetype who worked the knobs, occasionally saved the day with an invention, and explained Dr. Doom’s plots to the readers.
I don’t profess to know Mark Waid. But based on his body of work, interviews he’s given, and industry gossip I’ve heard, I can make two inferences: he has at least a little arrogance to him, and he’s very, very smart. He’s also said that, when writing FLASH, he had a difficult time with the character, until he inserted himself.
Enter the “new” Reed Richards. Very, very smart, and at least somewhat arrogant, though not in a “we’re kicking the pants off of AOL-comics” sort of way. A good arrogance. A fascinating arrogance. Now I can only speculate on whether or not Waid is projecting himself onto Reed, but whatever he’s doing it’s working, and I boldly predict that Waid’s run on the book will define Reed’s character the way Byrne did Ben Grimm.
And for that reason alone, you should be reading FANTASTIC FOUR. The definitive work on a 40 year old classic character doesn’t come along everyday. All that’s needed is the definitive story.
It’s not going to be “Sentient” (the current story arc) which is simply a fun, smart FF adventure in the classic vein. But it is very much worth your pennies, and serves notice that Waid and company are up to something here that 10, 20, 40 years from now, you might be kicking yourself for not getting in on.
Now, I’m going to do something here that I’ve been hoping to do for a while: single out an editor for praise. I have been, on occasion, somewhat (oh, okay profanely) critical of editors for a number of what I consider editorial faults. But the problem with an editor is that when he does his job correctly, the praise always falls on the writing and art teams.
Well, I bought two Tom Brevoort-edited Marvel comics this week, and not only did they both look and read like actual comic books, with stuff actually happening between the covers and art that didn’t scream “I’d rather be Goya,” but they concluded with an actual honest-to-goodness letters page.
With 2 letters pages in a week, it felt like having a presumed dead friend show-up at your door. So whether it was Brevoort, his assistants Marc Sumerak & Andy Schmidt, or even good ol’Joey Q responsible for the return, I finally get to say to an editor, “Good Job!” And actually mean it.
SUPERMAN: DAY OF DOOM #3 of 4
Writer/Artist: Dan Jurgens
Bill Sienkiewicz: Ink-Artist
John E. Workman: Letterer
H-Fi: Colors
Reviewed by: superninja
The Death of Superman was one of the most ridiculous, self-indulgent stories in DC history. They kill off an iconic character with a corny new supervillain (Doomsday, who just can't be stopped!), and then bring in four derivative characters to fill the Big Blue's shoes. Which eventually leads to Superman turning up alive again after all. Folks, there is only one Clark Kent, there is only one Kal-El, and there is only one Superman.
I'd call the whole thing a pointless exercise (for the reader, at least - it was one of the most overhyped storylines of all time and a bestseller for DC), but at least we got the John Henry/Steel character out of all that, so some good was salvaged from trivializing the Superman character.
Now Jurgens is doing a retrospective on his Death of Superman story. You couldn't have the former without the latter, but Superman: Day of Doom has more heart in it than the story that spawned it. You might argue that Jurgens is trying to milk his "Death of" story for all it's worth, but there's some genuine feeling here and an edge that was missing before.
The story follows a reporter that has been commissioned by Perry White at the Daily Planet to write an article on the anniversary of the Death of Superman. The reporter is stumped because not only has the Daily Planet done this every year (with articles by Lois Lane and Clark Kent - ha ha), but Superman's alive! So what's the big deal with this issue? The art is a large contributor. All of the flashbacks surrounding Superman's death and rebirth are sepia-toned and instantly add a melancholy weight to the story. The pencils are gritty and grounded in reality. The story, after all, really isn't about Superman - it's about what his death and then rebirth did to those around him, and to the city of Metropolis.
I won't say it asks difficult questions of Superman, but it does pose some interesting ones. For instance, in this issue, the reporter interviews a Catholic priest who recalls the destruction of Coast City by Cyborg (one of the lame super-clones) and the horrible fallout. The priest then comments on Superman's rebirth: "My life is dedicated to spreading the word of a man who died and returned to life. Does Superman's similar experience not complicate that message?" It's just a brief moment, but you won't see this kind of thing in any of the Superman titles.
There's also an ongoing subplot that will come to a head in the final issue with a mysterious Doomsday copycat tracing the supervillian's path to Metropolis, leaving destruction in its wake. This, to me, is the only dubious part of the story, which may be delivered too heavy-handed in the end, and wrapped up in one of those neat little bows that often comes with a story about
I've never been a fan of Jurgens, who first caught my attention by offing Superman. His subsequent work on Marvel's Captain America (Dan you're killing me!) and his earlier Thor are some of my least favorites. But between Superman: Day of Doom and his current run on Thor, I'd say Jurgens has found a new way of looking at these characters. Day of Doom isn’t perfect, it's not the "greatest Superman story of all time", but it's got heart.
FORTUNE & GLORY: A TRUE HOLLYWOOD COMIC BOOK STORY
by Brian Michael Bendis
published by Oni Press
reviewed by Buzz Maverik
There I was in the @$$hole Clubhouse, freshly back from suspension (you go on one little shooting spree -- like I couldn't have done more than wing Ambush Bug if I'd really wanted to), on guard duty. The phone rang. I said, "Talkback @$$holes. Your boredom is our way of life."
The voice on the other end of the phone said, "Outtasight."
"Sleazy, did you dial the clubhouse by accident again? Because if you did..."
"This isn't Sleazy G. This is Scott Peter Silverheimer. I produce movies."
I said, "Did you do that one where all those showgirls were stranded on a desert island and they quickly turned to each other to fulfill their sexual desires?"
"No, but I have it on DVD in the limo. You want to take a ride?"
"Do you have single malt scotch and Cuban cigars in the limo too?" He did, so I took a ride with this movie producer.
"You're the leader of those Talkback @$$holes on AICN, right? Which one are you? Vroom Socko? Superninja? No, matter...heh, heh, heh, helping yourself to my stash of blow, I see? You must be that Buzz Cormorant. I'm very big fans of you guys. You're all something else. You kill me, you really do. I'll get to the point. I'd like to buy the film rights to your existence. You guys would make a great movie. Sort of a ROCKY, but with crappier bodies and comic books."
I finished off the limo's supply of Beer Nuts. With my mouth full, I said, "Oh, no, no, no, Mr. Slick Hollywood Producer. I know all about your type. I read the brilliant graphic novel FORTUNE & GLORY written and drawn by Brian Michael Bendis about his gut wrenching experiences trying to get film versions made of his comics. You guys are all double talking idiots and you don't really intend to make the movies you say you will.
"That graphic novel shows Bendis go from one bizarre meeting to another with people who haven't read his work but are afraid someone else is going to get it. You're just afraid that someone else is going to get the rights to the @$$holes."
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You got that right, Buzz. Bendis' graphic novel is hilarious, by the way, my assistant told me so. I don't want anyone else getting the rights to you groups of weirdos, so what'll it take?"
My shotgun arrived from Great Britain yesterday morning. Vincent Donofrio is going to play me.
BATMAN #609
Jeph Loeb (Beta) – Writer
Jim Lee – Pencils
Scott Williams – Inks
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
I enjoyed BATMAN #609. But before I tell you why, I’d like to discuss a project I’m working on called “The Multiple Jeph Loebs Theory.”
I submit to you, the comic reading public, that there are, in fact, two writers writing for comics using the name “Jeph Loeb.”
The first Jeph Loeb, which I will now refer to as Jeph Loeb Alpha, is the guy who just finished his run on SUPERMAN, a run that I found to be generally disappointing. The main problem with Jeph Loeb Alpha’s work on SUPERMAN is that it was A) too light and B) too precious. Loeb wasn’t exactly what you’d call generous with the dialog, but when the characters did speak, they were often so cute that it could send you into insulin shock. Coupled with Ed McGuiness’ puffy balloon people, Loeb’s SUPERMAN often seemed like a coloring book with the colors filled in.
The second Jeph Loeb, hereafter referred to as Jeph Loeb Beta, wrote the subject of this review, BATMAN #609. BATMAN #609 was neither too light nor too precious, in fact it was very solid, maybe even a little grave, and very nicely characterized. It was an interesting chapter in what’s shaping up to be an interesting storyline, and if you had any sense, you’d be looking into it.
Here’s the deal: Batman was swinging around Gotham City in pursuit of Catwoman in BATMAN #608, when someone cut his line causing him to plummet to the ground. BATMAN #609 opens with him sprawled out on the pavement (in Crime Alley of all places). He’s so broken by the fall that he can’t move, even as the local riffraff comes out to investigate him. Luckily the distress call goes out and an unexpected old friend, The Huntress, shows up to come to his rescue. Soon he’s back at cave, but still in bad shape as the decision is made to call upon another old friend, this time a friend of Bruce Wayne (not Batman): a brilliant surgeon to help with his medical care. We learn more about this hitherto unrevealed friend, a new character to add to the Batman mythos, through a flashback to Wayne’s childhood. Meanwhile, throughout the story, we catch glimpses of the mysterious villain behind the evil machinations of the past two issues.
Before this review goes any further, let me go on record as saying that if the mystery villain ever turns out to be the childhood friend of Bruce Wayne, I take back every nice thing I’m about to say about this issue. That would be a Scooby-Doo level mystery twist that’s beneath us all. I mean come on.
The first half of the issue, with Batman lying in the alley, was where this issue really shined. Batman’s internal dialog was sharp, and it was neither over nor underplayed. As the scene unfolded, Loeb Beta was able to show the relationships among the different members of the Bat-family with a few economical remarks in some moments, along with some genuine reflection in others. The later part of the book was less spectacular, yet still keen with Batman’s commentary. The flashback scene took us where we needed to go (though apparently artist Jim Lee has never played Stratego before: those weren’t Stratego pieces). There were a few moments where I could almost see a bit of Jeph Loeb Alpha creeping around the edges of the dialog; for example there’s a moment when Alfred assessed Batman’s chance of recovery, and it fell on the floor with the weight of melodrama. But overall I felt Loeb Beta brought a truth to the situations that I rarely sensed from Loeb Alpha; for the most part, he managed to walk that fine line between clever and trite without crossing over to the wrong side.
Of course, another good thing about the first part of the book was the fact that Huntress put up a pretty good fight, thanks to Jim Lee. The action in this issue really seemed to move, and move beautifully. Huntress looked neat in her new costume, and she kicked ass. The rest of the book was drawn beautifully too, in a realistic style that is, quite frankly, my bag. No complaints here. In fact, as I consider my reaction to this issue, I wonder how much the differential between Loeb Alpha and Loeb Beta is really the result of the art; perhaps Ed McGuiness’ puffy people. But then I think back to what went on in some of those Superman issues...
No, definitely two Jeph Loebs.
But luckily, BATMAN #609 seems to be written by the good one. Check it out.
THE DEATH O' SUPERMAN (TPB)
written by Dan Jurgens, Jerry Ordway, Louise Simonson, Roger Stern
art by Jon Bogdanove, Tom Grummett, Jackson Guice, Dan Jurgens, Brett Breeding, Rick Burchett, Doug Hazelwood, Dennis Janke, Denis Rodier, Gene D' Angelo, Glenn Whitmore
published by DC
reviewed by Buzz Maverik
AUUUUGHHHH! I don't want to spoil this recently reissued trade paperback for you but THEY KILLED SUPERMAN! AUUUUGGGH! The first and most famous superhero of all and DC killed him! And it wasn't even Lex Luthor or Batman or one of those other famous supervillains who got to do it! It was some fat guy who wore a jumpsuit and had protruding bones! AUUUUUGGGH!
Okay, I know that Big Blue doesn't sell like he once did. He's not dark and edgy and moody and deconstructionist and modern. He's too good-looking to wear a soul patch. I know that we're so jaded that an indestructible guy who can fly and shoot heat beams from his eyes but who chooses to go around disguised as a nerd isn't interesting, but did they have to kill him? Couldn't they have made him a sidekick or a supporting character or given him to Kevin Smith or something?
When the killer, Doomsday, first escapes from a metal crate in the Midwest, he looks like he's wrapped in garbage bags. I'm talking the hefty kind, for yard waste. And wait'll you see the lame-o’s using the Justice League of America's name. There's Guy Gardner, who was always pretty funny. I'm guessing that Guy founded this group and used the JLA's name to piss them off and get a publicity lawsuit. I think Guy probably stopped using the name for the group when the JLA retained the services of Matt Murdock from the Marvel Universe (he never loses!). He's backed up by the Nite Ow---, I mean the Blue Beetle and Booster Gold (who was cool in his own book back in the '80s. Hey, Levitz, bring back Booster G.!). Also, the She-Hul--, I mean Maxima, two chicks named -- get this -- Fire and Ice. Boy, those names took a lot of creativity. I didn't know Rob Liefeld did that much work for DC. And there's an escapee from the early days of Image Comics called Bloodwynd. I guess the fact that his name makes no sense and that he spells "wind" "w-y-n-d" was supposed to make him cool. And this is where I spell conspiracy, folks.
Yes, if DC hadn't wanted Superman to die, wouldn't Batman, Green Lantern, the Flash, Aqua Man, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Plastic Man, Swamp Thing and even The Blue Devil have come out swinging? You can't tell me that Mr. Multiplex (or whatever that all-powerful imp is called) and Metallo and Brainiac and Bizarro would allow a guy in a trashcan liner to kill Superman. They have a character posing as Lex Luthor (apparently so he can get a lap dance from Supergirl) but who has red hair and a fake British accent. The real Luthor would have this guy killed, then would destroy Doomsday just so he, Lex Luthor, could be the one to destroy Superman.
Also, if this story weren't just designed to kill Superman, wouldn't Supes have found some way to blast this guy off planet, into the Phantom Zone, or down into the center of the Earth?
If I didn't know better, I'd swear this was just some cheap, cynical ploy by DC to get headlines and sell some Superman comics for a change. Why, I wouldn't be surpassed if they didn't bring him back to life in some highly implausible way that is embarrassing to say out loud or even write down.
Aww, who am I kidding? This is comics! He's gonna stay dead forever!
@$$hole Casting Couch!
Hey folks, Ambush Bug here with another edition of the @$$hole Casting Couch. What is it about a trilogy that makes fandom go crazy? LORD OF THE RINGS, STAR WARS - hell, even the new SUPERMAN films are set to be part of a three-part saga. Maybe fans dig them because it makes them feel that they are watching something epic unfold, that the film in front of them is part of a bigger story - a story that, when watched from beginning to end, would tell a tale of epic proportions. Not many comics out there deserve the trilogy treatment. The story has to be big, with many characters, involving a quest or a journey of some sort. One such epic is the tale of GREEN LANTERN.
Although there is another trilogy on the big screen these days involving a ring of power, THE SAGA OF THE GREEN LANTERN would be the comic book equivalent of STAR WARS in the proper hands. The story has bizarre aliens, mystical power derived from the force of will, flawed heroes, and despicable villains. It’s the story of the rise of a hero, his fall from grace, and his eventual redemption. This story could be translated into the comic book trilogy to beat all.
I feel a bit passionately about this one, so allow me to throw out a mini-treatment: Daring pilot, Hal Jordan, finds a ring in the wreckage of a fallen spacecraft and learns to master its power in the first film. The ring takes Hal to outer space and introduces us not only to the Green Lantern Corps, but to a race of Guardians - whose goal is to keep order in the universe - and a stern Lantern named Sinestro, who takes the concept of order a bit too seriously. While the first film deals with Hal’s mastery of power, the second deals with Hal’s rise to fame as the greatest Green Lantern of them all and his temptation by Sinestro. This film would deal with Hal’s fall from grace and loss of sanity, which leaves the Corps shattered, a villain within revealed, the Guardians destroyed, and the ring without a bearer. The final film introduces the world to Kyle Rayner, who’s own discovery of the ring and mastery of its power will help Hal Jordan rise from self-exile and redeem himself in order for the Green Lantern Corps to rise from the ashes and protect the universe once again. Sounds pretty epic to me.
The man behind this set of flicks should be capable of telling an epic tale, but able to make the films fun. Director Brad Bird showed his mastery of the art of filmic storytelling with THE IRON GIANT. He’s fully capable of dealing with this one. Now that we have a talented director chosen for this film, let’s cast it.
Hotshot pilot, Hal Jordan, has to be a damn good actor to play a part that demands equal parts charm, passion, angst, and heroism. Guy Pierce has proven himself as an amazing actor, capable of playing complex characters dealing with impossible odds in MEMENTO and LA CONFIDENTIAL. His stern, yet personable demeanor is exactly what is needed for this role.
Hal’s successor to the ring, Kyle Rayner, is a different story. Sure a good actor is needed, but Kyle has always been portrayed as a bit of a dolt in the comics. He’s a regular guy who just sort of happens upon all of these situations and often asks himself, “How the hell did I get into this?” Perfecting the “deer in the headlights” look and oozing with youthful enthusiasm, talented up-and-coming actor, Jake Gyllenhaal (DONNIE DARKO, MOONLIGHT MILE) could fit the bill nicely.
Of course, the main villain of this trilogy to beat all trilogies is Sinestro, former pink-skinned Green Lantern, bearer of the yellow ring, maniacal schemer, merciless warrior, and unquestionably insane madman. Even though everyone and his mother thinks Gary Oldman should play the part, I’d go a more unconventional route. Actor Crispin Glover has made a career out of portraying skewed, alien-like characters. From the pitiful McFly in BACK TO THE FUTURE to the coked-out punk in THE RIVER’S EDGE, from the subtle but deadly Thin Man in CHARLIE’S ANGELS to the near genius casting as the main character in the upcoming WILLARD remake, Glover has what it takes to make this villain one to remember. Crispin Glover IS Sinestro. No question about it.
Hal and Kyle aren’t the only human GL's. Architect John Stewart also gets a ring as Hal builds the Corps of Earth. John Stewart has to be played by an actor who conveys passion, character, and strength. Actor Michael Beach has played strong characters in ONE FALSE MOVE, WAITING TO EXHALE, and TV’s THIRD WATCH. He’d be good here too.
And who can forget the baddest Green Lantern of them all, Guy Gardner? What Guy lacks in social graces, he makes up in machismo and wise-ass remarks. Although he is teaching inner city kids these days on TV’s BOSTON PUBLIC, Nicky Katt stood out with minor roles in INSOMNIA, SUBURBIA, and THE LIMEY as a badass with a smart mouth. Sounds like the right guy to play Guy.
Although many of the other-worldly Lanterns like Kilowog and Abin Sur would be totally CGI, the LORD OF THE RINGS shrinking effect should be used for the Guardians. The Guardian Ganthet hands out the green ring of power and needs to played by an older actor who is both wise and personable, but also a bit weird. I’d have Christopher Walken paint his face blue and do the role some justice.
Well, there you have it. Who wouldn’t want to see the Lantern’s light wipe out evil’s might on the big screen? As always, we invite you all to agree, disagree, tear us a new one, or put together your own cast. I’m sure every @$$hole in the Talkbacks has an opinion or two. What are they?
