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Quint's Holiday Gift Guide For Geeks!!!

Hey folks, Harry here with a little bit of holiday shopping advice from the boy who likes his toys, of course i'm talking about Quint! Personally I'd recommend that you get THIS as it is the greatest thing ever! Here's Quint!

Ahoy squirts! 'Tis I, everybody's favorite runny, wet and shimmerin' ol' seaman, Quint, here to make a few gift suggestions as you folks are heading out the door on this busy Christmas/Holiday shopping weekend. I know that most reading this are probably hard core geeks who don't need to be told what to get other geeks this Holiday season, but there might be a few things below you folks haven't even thought of. You have to remember, what you buy could be the difference between being an Aggie or a cool Geek! So Choose Wisely!!!

For instance, this is one of the coolest gifts to give a movie geek in your household... Something unique and very, very cool. Pottery is a hobby of super cool actor Lance Henriksen (aka Bishop from the ALIEN films or Frank Black from the TV show Millennium or from PUMPKINHEAD or a billion other low budget horror flicks) and he has a website devoted to selling his handmade bowls, plates, platters and cups. When I say handmade I mean HANDMADE. Each and every thing he sells he guarantees as made solely by him. He has no assistants, no employees... It's his own blood, sweat and tears that go into these pieces.

How sweet would it be to know you're eating off of a plate made by Bishop? And the prices aren't bad, either. Not super cheap, but you can get plates starting around $40 and unique, one of a kind platters for as much as $400, but most items on his webpage fall somewhere between $50 and $60. Keep in mind there is a 25% discount on every piece he sells, too. Each item comes with a certificate of authenticity and either a signature or stamp applied by Lance Henriksen on the item itself. Go to his website for pics and info. Now if only Bruce Campbell would start making origami or just endorsed HANDburger Helper!

Here's another gift for you babies, that'll last a while: A One Year or Two Year Membership to the official LORD OF THE RINGS FAN CLUB. For $29.95 (or $49.95 if you opt for the Two Year Membership) you get a beautiful exclusive 11X17 lithograph, a scene from THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, a membership card, a discount on all merchandise sold at the official website, the opportunity to buy LOTR merchandise not available to the general public, a subscription to the official LOTR magazine (6 issues a year) and a nifty letter from Peter Jackson to all members.

I was given a 3 year Charter Membership for Christmas last year and it was easily my favorite present. I'm constantly eyeballin' the mailbox for the new LOTR magazine, which always contain interviews with key cast and crew, info on various LOTR related events and news and pictures from the upcoming movies. As a card carrying member of the LORD OF THE RINGS FANCLUB, I highly recommend getting a membership for the little hobbit in your family... or maybe that little hobbit is you. Either way, you won't be disappointed.

I might as well stay with LORD OF THE RINGS for a bit. While doing my research for this article I quickly found that of all the current movie properties, including STAR WARS, HARRY POTTER, etc, LORD OF THE RINGS is the most consistent in putting out quality (precious) tie-ins. Case in point: THE TWO TOWERS game on PS2 is the best video game based on a film since GOLDENEYE on N64. Now, I'm much more of a movie geek than a gamer. I think hard core gamers might be a little disappointed with this game as it's not one of those GRAND THEFT AUTO like games that take days or weeks to finish and give you free reign to fart around huge areas. I beat THE TWO TOWERS game in one sitting (albeit on Easy mode with the use of Cheat Codes I found online, because that's the type of pussy that I am).

What rules about the TWO TOWERS game is the complete and total integration with both FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING and THE TWO TOWERS films. The game starts off with footage from the prologue of the first film, complete with Galadriel's narration and footage of the creation of the rings of power. We see the last alliance of men and elves. The Orcs charge, the elves form their line and all of a sudden you're playing as Isildur, taking out Orcs and Goblins left and right at foot of Mt. Doom. This is the training level and it lasts up until Sauron comes in, then it transitions back to the film...

You get to play as either Aragorn, Legolas or Gimli and you find yourself fighting Ringwraiths, The Watcher at the gates of Moria, The Cave Troll in Balin's Tomb and whole helluva lot of Uruk Hai at Amon Hen from FELLOWSHIP. Then we get into all the TWO TOWERS stuff, complete with unreleased footage from the film as bookends to each level. I really wanted to play Samwise though... Just imagine if you could be at Helm's Deep as Sam, swinging pots and pans into Uruk Hai's fucking kneecaps, that'd been ace!

And every single one of the characters in the game are voiced by the actors from the film. Elijah Wood, John Rhys-Davies, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen and Orlando Bloom return to record all the character dialogue for the game. And graphically it's an amazing match to the look of the film. I highly, highly recommend this game. You can order it directly from EA games or get it at any gaming store in the country for around $49.99.

You have a lot of other cool LOTR tie-ins... Like LORD OF THE RINGS Risk, an infinitely cooler idea for a movie novelty game than something like STAR WARS Life. You can order that from New Line's store. They're also coming out with the first wave of TWO TOWERS figures which look really cool, especially the Grima Wormtongue and new Saruman the White figures. The 12 inch series is looking cool, too. The 12 inch Legolas looks fantastic and the 12 inch Treebeard w/Merry and Pippin toys looks really cool, too. I'm sure most Wal Marts and Toys R Us stores will be carrying those at very reasonable prices.

Now, if you really want to splurge and become the coolest mom/dad/sister/brother/uncle/friend in the universe there's always those amazing statues created by the talented people at Sideshow/Weta. TWO TOWERS statues (including a very cool Gandalf the White statue) are on pre-order right now, to be shipped in the Spring, but there are a few dozen badass FELLOWSHIP statues available for immediate shipping. These statues are made by the actual effects masters at WETA that worked on the films and most are incredibly detailed and beautiful. Unfortunately, they're also a bit expensive. The regular statues average between $125 and $150 a piece, but it's well worth it. It's more like buying a piece of art than a toy.

The crème de la crème of these statues, for me, is the limited edition BALROG statue they're putting out next Spring. Harry tells me that AICN will be doing a contest to win one of these in December, but I would recommend the contest be for contributor that has written the most Seaman-like jargon in the history of AICN!!! Anyways, these suckers are currently on pre-order and look amazing. Take it from me. I saw it up close and in all its glory at the Weta booth at the San Diego Comic Con back in August. I even snapped a pic of it, but due to the incompetent folks at our server company, Harry can't show it to you, because well, everything just sucks, except this statue which rules!

For a better look, visit Sideshow/Weta's webpage here. Again, this is the coolest of the cool and the price tag reflects that. It's $300. I know that's crazy money, but for those of you with rich relations out there... forward them Sideshow/Weta's webpage... There will only be 1000 of these puppies created. I know that I'm destined to live without one being a poor writer and all, but I can live vicariously through you good people out there.

Alright, enough with the LORD OF THE RINGS stuff. How about something completely different?

I saw these Cheech and Chong toys at Spencer Gifts and they kick a lot of ass. Not only are the two figures (Cheech and Chong) available, but there's also the weed van "munchies" jar.

You put your weed in there! That's not conspicuous... No way! The Weed Van cookie jar retails for about 30 bucks, the figures around $15 ea. and can be found at most Spencer Gifts or through Spencer Gifts' website. Now far be from Quint to promote the use of Pot - but my lil brother - I'll call him BRUCE - Bruce says Pot is good and should be given to me everytime you see me!

Ideas for other cool toys... You can't go wrong with McFarlane's Movie Maniac series. My personal favorite of McFarland's newest toy line is Darkness...

I desire more Tim Curry toys. McFarland I task you to produce a Pennywise the Dancing Clown from Stephen King's IT. You know you want to do it. Also, If I can suggest a Wadsworth the Butler, Rooster Hannigan and Roger Corwin inflatable doll!!! Anyway, that Darkness figure holds a special place on the top of my bookcase, right along side the Jaws Box Set released by McFarlane in the last Movie Maniacs line. It's one of the best of all the Movie Maniacs figures ever created in terms of detail, color and accuracy to the film. And the best part is you can get it for under Ten Bucks. Check out Suncoast Motion Picture Co. or Spencer Gifts or every gaming store in the mall nearest you to find it.

How about some Star Wars stuff? I'm not a huge fan of the teeny tiny Star Wars figures. For the most part they are lacking in detail and presentation factor... Plus they break too easily... Yeah, I have a sizeable pile of arms, legs and broken lightsabres... That's not to say I don't have that Bespin Luke suction cupped to my bathroom mirror, Luke hanging upside down on the antenna longing for his missing hand... BUT my personal favorite Star Wars toys that are out right now is the Star Wars Unleashed line, featuring 10 inch sculptures of Jango Fett, Darth Maul, Anakin Skywalker, Mace Windu, Darth Tyranus, Darth Vader and more.

These are super cool, very detailed creations... the perfect decorative piece for any Star Wars fans home... And they retail for around $15 and can be found in any store that sells Star Wars action figures like Wal-Mart, Toys R Us, Target, KB Toys, etc. If you want to order online, you can do so by clicking on one of the vendors listed here. Be warned, though. I've only ever seen the Jango Fett and Darth Maul in stores here in Austin, though the Toys R Us website has Amidala and Anakin Unleashed figures for sale. The others might be very rare or not yet released.

I haven't gotten a chance to play either Bounty Hunter or Attack of the Clones games on GameCube, but I'm told the Attack of the Clones game is top notch and have heard some really great things about Bounty Hunter as well. You can order both of those as well as Jedi Knight 2: Jedi Outcast for either GameCube or X-Box at or find them at any gaming store in the country. They all retail for $49.99.

While this next game isn't a movie related game (yet), it is still high on the geek-o-meter. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is great fun that will please damn near any geek, gamer or otherwise. Your character is voiced by Ray Liotta and you get to run around a 1980's Miami-esque Vice City doing the dirty work for all the town's big crime honchos. You get to work for Luis Guuuuuzzzzmmmmaaaaaannnn!!!! and Burt "Sweaty Fucking God" Reynolds and Danny Trejo and a bunch of other great celebrity voiced characters. Not only that, but you get to speed around in great '80s cars, flipping through stations playing real '80s hits from Michael Jackson to Night Ranger. Fun stuff.

Something to consider as a companion gift with Vice City is the 7 CD Soundtrack Box Set from the Game. Each CD represents each of the 7 radio stations from the game and is complete with all songs, mock commercials and wacky DJs found in the video game. I saw one Box Set at Electronics Boutique in the local mall priced at $49.99. I'm sure it's easily found at most Best Buys and gaming stores... The perfect gift for those who are addicted to Vice City or '80s music. Now those Vice City addicts can live out the game while driving... Well... Maybe that's a bad idea... Scratch that one...

I realize this is getting long, so let me finish up here... The last couple of video games I want to bring up are two games that I have not yet played due to my PS2 dying on me. I have both sitting here in the house, but alas... my PS2 decided it doesn't want to read disks anymore. These two games are James Bond 007: NightFire, which has been getting even better reviews than THE TWO TOWERS game, and HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS. From what I've read, the Bond game is unbelievably cool and the Chamber of Secrets game is fun as all hell. Both retail for $49.99 and can be ordered through EA Games or found at any Best Buy or gaming store.

What movie geek doesn't want DVDs for Christmas? The biggest geek DVD released before Christmas has to be the BACK TO THE FUTURE box set coming out 12/17/02 that includes all 3 BACK TO THE FUTURE films and tons of extra features including commentaries with Michael J. Fox and director Robert Zemeckis, documentaries, outtakes, cut scenes... damn near everything you could want short of your own time traveling DeLorean.

The DVD set retails for $56.98, but I'm willing to bet that you can find it for somewhere between $35 and $45 the day it comes out, either at Wal-Mart, SunCoast or by preordering it online at places like DVD Planet. Oh and it goes without saying that you are simply not an intelligent geek if you don't buy this!!!

Lastly, I want to send you folks over to a place called Mile High Comics where you can get great deals on comic books dating back to the Golden Age. They have an insanely huge selection of comics at very good prices. They also sell original theatre used movie posters, too. I highly recommend spending some time at, look around... you're bound to find something for your geek friend or relation... and most likely find something for yourself as well.

The above list is by no means complete. Feel free to add more geek gift suggestions in the talkback down below. And if you want to buy Harry a Christmas Present, You should get him this!!! I'll be back in the very near future with some actual movie news, interview and reviews, I promise. 'Til that day, this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu.


email: Email me here if you want my mailing address to send me my precious Balrog... Sad Quint... In the end I'll be what I will be... No loyal friend ever bought a Balrog for me...

P.S. This one is for the ladies - Click To Buy!!!

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