Hey folks, Harry here... Two radically different views of the latest James Bond adventure... see which one you think you'll agree with...
Vincent Hanna here with a review of Die Another Day. Thanks.
I wanted to love the new Bond film so very much. I despised XXX with every ounce my being. To say I hated it is the understatement of the century. Over and over I told people, XXX doesnÃt come close to being as cool as a mediocre Bond movie. It lacks the grace, style, wit and class of Bond. And Diesel is no Brosnan.
As I waited for Die Another Day to start, I was excited. IÃd heard good things and itÃs been three years since the last Bond. I expected to go along for the ride and have a good time. So how is it? Well, IÃd love to be able to sum it up with a simple ìit kicks assî or ìit sucks ass,î but it falls somewhere in between. ItÃs disappointing to be sure.
We begin in North Korea. Bond and two other dudes surf onto a beach and infiltrate a military base. Bond is trying to assassinate some guy, Colonel Moon I believe, by planting C4 in a briefcase containing diamonds. Moon thinks he is trading weapons for the diamonds, but when his henchman Zao (Rick Yune) discovers BondÃs true identity, all hell breaks loose.
Bond uses the briefcase to escape (scarring Zao) and a pretty nifty chase on hovercrafts follows. It comes to an end at a waterfall and it appears that Moon dies when he and a hovercraft plunge over the edge. MoonÃs father, a general and old school kind of guy who doesnÃt approve of his son or his methods, then captures Bond.
For the next 14 months Bond is tortured but refuses to give up any information. Finally it looks as if the general is tired of him and will kill him. But instead, a trade is made. Bond for Zao, who was captured after killing some important people in Europe with a bomb.
While recovering in a hospital, Dame Judi Dench informs Bond that he is useless and out of work. She is pissed that they had to give up Zao. So Bond escapes and conducts his own investigation. In Hong Kong he uses a contact to learn that Zao is in Cuba.
In the land of Fidel, Bond finds Zao at some hospital on an island that specializes in gene therapy. For a couple million bucks they will replace your DNA and give you a new identity. Bond also runs into Jinx (Halle Berry) here. Jinx and Bond get it on, then they blow up the place. But Zao gets away.
Back in his homeland, Bond is declared useful again. He is to investigate billionaire adventurer Gustav Graves, who just seems too good to be true. They have a fencing duel and then itÃs off to Iceland. What is Graves up to? How is he connected to Zao? Who is Jinx? All that and more to come.
On the plus side, Die Another Day features a few good action sequences, some funny one-liners and, of course, gorgeous women. Best of all, Michael Madsen is in it. Finally, in a movie that gets a wide release in theaters and not direct-to-video. Nice seeing him up on the big screen. As a good guy no less.
Sadly, there is a little more on the minus side. The pacing is off. The last 30 minutes lasts an eternity. There are at least three endings and it goes on forever. The villains just arenÃt what they used to be. They arenÃt menacing or suave. Just boring. And to top it all off, too many of the action scenes are terrible. Much like XXX, thereÃs some horrible CGI. ItÃs just so fake looking you canÃt help but laugh. The best example is the chase on ice followed by Bond surfing with a parachute on his back. Remember Escape From L.A.? This is worse.
Overall, Die Another Day is decidedly mediocre. Lee
Tamahori seems to have bit off more than he could
chew. Too big a task for him, and the directing leaves
a lot to be desired. Still better than XXX, but what
isnÃt? And did I mention that Michael Madsen is in it?
Alright, Harry here again -- your spirits are down, you've just read that Santa Claus doesn't exist and you're feeling a bit shaky about the whole thing. Well PoleOfJustice feels the exact opposite. He not only likes the new Bond film, but feels it is the best since GOLDFINGER. I suspect the truth lies somewhere between these two views...
Heya, PoleOfJustice here with glorious news: DIE ANOTHER DAY is the best Bond since GOLDFINGER.
Yup. Better than THUNDERBALL, better than YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, better than DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER. And yes, better than any Roger Moore era films (like you needed to ask.)
I understand the gravity of what I'm saying. The Bond films are very, very special to me. I've seen every one released in my lifetime on opening day...even DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, although I was only 2 (I have to rely on my parents' word on that one.) Hell, my parents' first date was GOLDFINGER. So you can imagine just how much Unholy ass DIE ANOTHER DAY kicks to inspire a statement like the one above.
OK, enough of the superlatives...the film starts off on the (familiar) right foot, with our man doing the slick Bond stuff he's known for. But soon things take a nasty turn, and he's caught. Caught and TORTURED. Not just the "I expect you to die" type torture we're used to, no, I mean real, nasty, painful looking, not-looking-much-of-a-hero-now type torture. For OVER A YEAR. By the time Bond gets out, he looks like Robinson Crusoe. Very rough, very much like the books, actually.
Not to worry, though: it takes our man about 24 hours to get back into slick superspy mode, and then, all bets are off. The most impressive thing about the whole film is director Lee Tamahori's nearly flawless grasp of when to be tough, when to be slick, when to inject the tongue in cheek unbelieveability that worked in the Moore films, and when to make an inside joke. He might not get everything exactly right, but he comes damned close. There is a real, hands on, no gadgets involved sword fight in the middle of the film that is probably one of the best staged action sequences I've seen come out of Hollywood for the better part of a decade...and it fits. Yes, the whole thing is that damned good.
The supervillian hideout is a bit ridiculous, but in that great, Moore Bond film way that turned me on so much as a kid. It almost looks like Ronald McDonald's Fortress Of Solitude, with giant arches made of ice. The double entendres are out in full force, as well, and again, Tamahori strikes just the right tone between eye-rolling silliness and devil may care wordplay.
The superweapon is right out of DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER, but that's fine with me. It works as more of a nod than a rip off, something I would have thought impossible with this series. And the villains are just this side of utterly bizarre, but you still have no problem accepting them. Oh yeah, and there's the fight that happens in the midst of a series of out of control lasers...
OK, I need to slow down, or I'm gonna start babbling again. Just for the record, there are a few nitpicks. Some of the action scenes are somewhat incoherent: you still get what's going on, but there's a little too much of a fill-in-the-blanks-yourself type of thing going on. Madonna's theme sucks hard, although the classic intro graphics are outstanding. Madonna herself is, blessedly, only in it for about 90 seconds, and that 90 seconds is, er, poorly focused. Remember the SNL parody of Liz Taylor's "White Diamonds" ad, where the camera had more and more Vaseline, to hide the mass of wrinkles she had become? It's not THAT bad, and in all fairness she looks fantastic for her age, but her less-than-bad-acting does not incline one to be charitable in this instance.
Halle Berry...what in the HELL are they thinking by giving her character Jinx her own film? Berry is an outstanding actress, but her Jinx is just a well-trained fluff chick, showing no real sense of intelligence or savvy. A smart mouth and a perfect body might be enough for the relatively "misogynist" era Bond girls, but here she looks like a spoiled brat that grew up...a little bit. A very little bit.
But, again, these are nitpicks. The villain death (I refuse to call that a spoiler) is spectacular, which the villain deaths haven't been lately. The gadgets kick ass. John Cleese actually looks comfortable on screen, which he hasn't seemed lately, even in his TV appearances. Will Yun Lee, who plays a colonel in this, looks freakishly like Tetsuro Tamba (from YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE.) And lest I forget, Pierce Brosnan is hands down the best Bond (excepting Connery, of course) and this film alone could justify that statement. I could go on, but you get the idea.
This is the first Bond film I've seen in my adult life that fully restored the utter, giddy joy I remember from staying up on Sunday nights, waiting for ABC to run FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE or LIVE AND LET DIE (they always ran 'em on Sundays, for some reason.) God, I'm happy. I don't know what else to say. Pole out.
