Harry here with possibly the greatest news since the impeachment of George Bush Jr... oh... that hasn't happened, ok, so this is just plainly the best news ever! JESUS, THE SECOND COMING!!! This would be the first sequel in history to a Coen Brother film. Now, we all agree that THE DUDE was cool. We know that Walter was awesome. BUT NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE JESUS!!!
The idea of a full on JESUS movie starring John Turturro... It is literally the greatest thing I've ever heard a rumor of. I mean, wow. Just WOW!
Who is this JESUS that I talk of? Well, he's a pederest. Hang on, here's my occasional acid flashback to Lebowski:
The Dude:
Fuckin' Quintana... that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak:
Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
The Dude:
Yeah.
Walter Sobchak:
No, he's a sex offender. With a record.
He served 6 months in Chino for
exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude:
Oh!
Walter Sobchak:
When he moved to Hollywood he had to
go door to door to tell everyone
he was a pederast.
Donny:
What's a... pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak:
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
As you can tell, this movie will have to be dealing with some serious shit. I mean, will we see the future door to door confessions of the JESUS? Will we see his tongue lick a ball smaller than his head? I don't know, but I do know he won't take shit from anyone as is evidenced by the following exchange:
Jesus Quintana:
You ready to be fucked man? I see
you rolled your way into the semis.
Dios mio, man. Liam and me,
we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude:
Yeah, well, that's just, like, your
opinion, man.
Jesus Quintana:
Let me tell you something, pendejo.
You pull any of your crazy shit with us,
you flash a piece out on the lanes,
I'll take it away from you,
stick it up your ass and pull the
fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude:
Jesus.
Jesus Quintana:
You said it man.
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Walter Sobchak:
Eight year-olds dude.
Here's what we got sent in...
according to this months total film UK there is an interview with the brilliant john turturro where he mentions that he and the coens are working on doing a movie on the jesus quintana character from the big lebowski.. anyway he says "we're are thinking of doing a down and dirty movie with him - Jesus The Second Coming. That thing is huge all over the world. People go insane over it, we thought we've got to come up with the right story. We're in discussions to do it."
i hope this is helpful just call me al
Thanks Al.... Now, I leave you with the immortal words of the JESUS:
What is this "day of rest" shit? What is this bullshit, man? I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus! But you're not fooling me! You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus! It's bush league psych-out stuff! Laughable, man! I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday, I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead!
