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Tobe Hooper: On the Beard and his original thoughts for POLTERGEIST 2, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE & TAKEN + THE SIMPSONS!

Hey folks, Harry here... Here's a great report on what's a happening up in the Great White North where folks are spilling beans and franks all over the place. Here we get the lowdown on THE SIMPSONS feature film!!! Blessed be to Rotowangisha, Lord of the Negative Zone, for answering my pleas! Now I must sacrifice three Apple Crisps into the gullet of the Flaming Buddha to appease him! Next is a bunch of stuff with Tobe Hooper... Now I just want to go on record as saying, MGM should instantly hire Tobe Hooper and bring on Spielberg as a producer and pursue and finance their original idea for POLTERGEIST 2 immediately! Now Please! Right Now! Holy Fuck I want to see that movie!!! Also, I'll be answering tons of questions about the new take on the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE film that is being made right now... it isn't quite a remake. You'll see! Here ya go...

Dear Harry & Crew,

Sent you a scoop a wee bit back when it was announced that that shite-monger, Paul Anderson, got the "Aliens Vs. Predator" gig, so there's a precedent for my shouting atcha. Cool? Then let's continue...

Well, it's festival season here in the great white north, and cinephiles are about to get hip-deep into the Vancouver International Film Fest, myself included.

One of the highlights of the fest is always the Trade Forum, where industry experts and pundits get together to schmooze and discuss the state of the art and so on. The panels of guest speakers are always a hit, and I was in the room last year when David Hayter let drop that he's working on adapting "Watchmen" for the screen, but that bastard Kizinti (or something like that) scooped you on it first. Sigh. Anyways...

I'm currently attending all four days of the Forum, today being the first. I hope I'll have more to tell you soon, because today got me off to a great start.

Now, I don't know if this is news to you yet, but I was in the room where Al Jean (Executive producer, writer and showrunner for The Simpsons since its inception in 1989) was one of the guest speakers. When it came time for Q&A with the audience, I got to ask him a question I'll bet tons of you out there are dying for an answer to:

Is there ever going to be a Simpsons movie?

His answer.....?


In fact, more than yes. He went so far as to tell us that all the principle cast has recently signed for a THREE PICTURE DEAL. The murmurs spread through the room. People liked that.

But, (Yes, you knew there was going to be a BUT) he doesn't know when.

Currently there are no plans to end the fourteen year run of the show and the writing staff is having enough trouble coming up with plotlines to fill 22 minutes of TV show, let alone 80-90 minutes of feature film. It was encouraging to hear him then say however that the six-man team of writers (including himself) hired for the task of the script want it to be something of QUALITY. They absolutely do not want to do it simply for the cash or to rip us (the fans) off.

They want to do it when the time is right. But, fear not people, a Simpsons movie IS on the way.

Next, the Cult Movie panel...

Starring none other than Tobe Hooper.

I'll start off by saying that this man used to scare the living fuck outta me. Never met him before, nope, no reason to fear the man himself...

But I watched "Poltergeist" when I was like, seven, and I still have issues with clowns and big gnarly trees. Perhaps one or two of you out there can relate. Texas Chainsaw Massacre fucked me up for a while too.

Now Tobe himself however, is the shit. I mean, such a nice guy it's hard to believe. He went on about the state of cult movies today, what it takes for a movie to be a cult hit, and answered tons of questions about his own work.

He seemed to have mixed feelings about "Poltergeist", mainly because of some LA Times article that labelled him a Spielberg puppet, but he thanked the man for teaching him so much about special effects. He stated that the reason though he didn't return for the sequel was because his and Spielberg's idea was rejected:

Remember when the house got sucked into that ball of light at the end? The sequel was to begin with the National Guard cordoning off the area for miles around this ball of light, hovering 18 feet about sea level, in the exact same spot as before, while a team of scientists prepares, then enters it and encounters The Beast... Ah well, never meant to be I guess.

Now you want to hear about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, don't you?

He actually had surprisingly little to say about it. He had an amusing anecdote about asking a friend at the MPAA about whether or not he could show a girl being impaled and hung on a meat hook, and the friend said sure as long as there was no penetration shown. Believe it or not, Tobe actually had NO PROBLEMS with the MPAA over TCM. Honest, he never had to recut and resubmit. Wild, huh?

Then, Q&A. The mike was in my hand, so I got to thank him for Poltergeist (Hey, I like being scared), then I asked what his feelings were about the so-called "re-fucking-imagining" of our beloved TCM that we all known is on the way.

He seemed, well, disheartened somewhat by it really. He had just gone off about the state of cult movies, how part one of a series is the one people remember, how Scream 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8 only diminish what was once cutting edge and original, and how the studios are only in it for the money.

So he spoke from the heart yet again and said that he asked Gus Van Sant about how his experience remaking Psycho was for him. Gus told him that if he could, he'd remake every movie he'd ever loved if given the chance.

So Tobe got to thinking, got together with a partner, turned in a script for a remake and at one point was even ready to take on directing it himself. But then it was taken out of his hands and put into Michael Bay's production company's lap. Yeah, can't wait for his take on the material...

But, Tobe did offer a glimmer of hope:

He's not done with TCM yet. Not by a long shot. He's still getting steady work, still got some clout, and if the upcoming mini-series "Taken" shows he's still got IT.... well, maybe we'll have reason to be scared again, but this time, for the right reasons.

Sorry if this letter went on for waaaay too long. I'll understand if you edit or don't post it at all, but I felt I had something to share. There's more to come from me though, so best be ready. Hell, I may even have something EXTREMELY COOL to share with you all come Saturday or Sunday.

Till then, you be cool. I'll be MooVeeBoy.

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