Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
What day is it? What week is it? I haven’t slept in what feels like days, and still I didn’t find time to post this week’s TalkBack League. Guess that makes me the @$$hole, eh?
You unlock this link with the mouse click of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of words. A dimension of reviews. A dimension of highly opinionated sequential art criticism. You're moving into a land of both style and substance, of Ron Zimmerman jokes and an overuse of the f-word. You've just crossed over into the @$$HOLE Zone.
APACHE SKIES # 1
Story and art by John Ostrander & Leonardo Manco
Published by MAX/Marvel
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
I was born, a six-gun in mah hand/ Behind a gun, I'll make mah final staaand...
"After them lawdawgs strung up Yukon Jon Quixote, they done buried him next to The Dodge City Idiot and across from Belle Superninja on Boot Hill. The rest of us was holed up in The Lucky @$$ Saloon. The Ambushwacker Kid. John Wesley Comedian. Calamity Lizzybeth. Illinois Sleazy. Doc Cormorant. Injun Vroom. And me, being one William H. Buzzy who'd been damn fool enough in a fit of drunken literacy to write Lew Wallace, governor of New Mexico territory, and make fun of the book he'd wrote by the title of BEN HUR. Because of that, them lawdawgs was comin' for us all."
Welcome to the second issue of APACHE SKIES. If you joined us for the first issue, you know that The Rawhide Kid and the new, female Apache Kid, have joined forces to avenge the murder of the original Apache Kid. I am pleased to say that the action flows much better in this issue and we're looking a good Western comic.
Rebel souls, deserters we are called/ Chose a gun and threw away the sun.
"Near dawn, most of the boys was busy keepin' watch and waitin' to die. John Wesley Comedian was proceedin' to toss a deckful of cards, one by one, into a spittoon. I jes sat a table, starin' into space. Calamity Lizzybeth slammed a bottle of red eye down in front of me.
"'I don't reckon you look no meaner than a bucktoothed polecat in a sack of rattlesnakes,'" she said.
"'What the hell does that mean? People out here in the Old West are always sayin' stuff like that and I never know what it means.'"
"'What it means, Buzzy, is that you ain't no use to us sober,' she said. 'I know you done promised your woman you wouldn't drink no more after you drove your covered wagon through the opium den, but the ol' Buzz, the drunk Buzz would come up with a plan to get us all out of here.'
"Well, sir, I sat eyeing that bottle. Finally, I took a long pull...."
Ostrander and Manco give us a gorgeously illustrated tale of personal vengeance. Railroad barons and the capture of Geronimo figure in. My only complaint is that when Rawhide takes off his hat, he looks a little too much like Wolverine. Now these towns, they all know our name/ Six guns out is our claim to fame.
"Them lawdawgs gathered outside the Lucky @$$ might have been expectin' it when Illinois Sleazy and John Wesley Comedian let loose with on 'em with a pair of Winchesters from the upstairs windows. But they wasn't ready when Injun Vroom sent arrow after flaming arrow onto the roofs of the adjoining buildings. That gave Doc Cormorant the chance to roll the Gatlin gun onto the balcony and start cranking out shots faster than a backed up cowboy in a boom town whorehouse. Still and all, it was jes' what you'd call a di-version. The Ambushwhacker Kid and Calamity Lizzybeth heaved a trunk, with a long, long rope tied around it, off the balcony. It crashed into the dusty street, right in front of the main posse of lawdawgs.
"This here is where my plan quit workin'. I was inside that trunk and I was supposed to pop out and shoot up them lawdawgs, but it felt like my back broke when I landed and I couldn't move. All I could do was scream, 'Aw, shit! That really hurt! Little help here.'
"This either confused on amused the lawdawgs because I'm sure I heard 'em laughing. My plan started working again, because my gang, The @$$hole In The Wall Bunch, was able to get to their horses. They tied to ropes attached to my trunk around their saddle horns and rode outta town howlin' and shootin'.
"'Course I was drug back up into the upper-story of the saloon then back down some stairs. I felt ever one of 'em, let me tell you, hoss. As the @$$holes tore into the sunset, the little trunk with me inside it bounced across the prairie at the end of their ropes.
"Many a townsfolk remembered hearin' me a-yellin' , ' Lemme outta here, you sonsbitches! Oww! Goddamit! Oww! Please!'"
Title: TITANS #44
Writer: Tom Peyer
Penciler: Barry Kitson
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
A few months back on the very first Talkback League of @$$holes Review Page, I talked about TITANS. I said that the book had a lot of problems, the biggest one being the fact that it was not about the Titans themselves. The writers didn’t seem interested in the adventures of Nightwing, Arsenal, Troia, Tempest, Jesse Quick, and Argent. They focused on a bunch of bratty super kids or a cult of super heroes or the latest hodgepodge team of villains that decided to attack Titans Tower on that specific occasion. Unlike their parent book, JLA, the only member of the team with his own book is Nightwing, so a writer basically has free reign over these complex characters. One would think that having such a rich cast of characters would make for an interesting and popular read. One would be wrong. That is not to say that the book hasn’t improved since my first review.
Time for a recap. In the last few issues, we have been introduced to Garvan, the spiritual leader of a super hero cult. Garvan is actually from another dimension; one where the society is completely and utterly addicted to drugs. Garvan has manipulated this group of heroes with the same drugs that the population of his home dimension is addicted to, and plans to use this super powered army against the drug-pushing rulers of his home world. While the Titans were investigating the cult, they were sucked into a spatial portal (opened by Tempest, the former Aqualad) leading to the drug world. The rulers of the drug world are The President, who sits around, eats a lot, and hands out hypodermic needles to his people as if they were candy, and his right hand man, Halluciatra, who, of course, has plans of his own to rule the drug world. Hallucinatra’s Hypomen administer drugs and death to the populace as they see fit. One Hypoman drugs Tempest at the edge of the portal, forcing him to close the portal and lose contact with the Titans on drug world. On Earth, Tempest struggles with the DT’s from a drug that is not of earthly descent, while on drug world, the Titans succumb to the effects of the drugs and begin tearing each other apart. Whew! What a backstory.
This is a pretty complex stage of events that has been unfolding over the last few issues. Tom Peyer, the series new regular writer, had the unfortunate task of finishing a story that Jay Faerber started a few issues ago. Faerber’s main fault was not concentrating on the stars of the book and, as one can see in the above re-cap, Peyer seems to be making the same mistake. But he’s not messing up nearly as bad as Faerber did.
Gone are the panels featuring nameless cult members and kids with super powers. The Titans are the ones seeing action in this book. The focus of the story may be on Garvan’s quest, but at least it is being told from the perspective of the Titans. And that is a vast improvement for this title.
The problem is that Peyer is focusing on the Titans as a whole. The best team stories focus on one or two specific members. Every story has to have a central character. Just because it is a team book, doesn’t mean that every member has to be present in every panel. Geoff Johns is doing this with members of JSA and Joe Kelly has been doing the same thing to a lesser extent on the JLA book. The adventures should affect one of the Titans personally. One would think that a mission set on a world addicted to drugs would be told from the perspective of Arsenal, who was addicted to heroin at one time. This could have been a powerful tale, set around one man’s fight to survive in a world that reflects his darkest hour, but Peyer chooses to stay out of Arsenal’s head. Instead he has the team become drugged themselves and argue and fight with each other for two issues. Arsenal’s past addiction is not completely forgotten. Upon hearing about drug world, Nightwing asks Arsenal if he’s okay about all of this. But that is about as deep as it goes, folks. What a totally missed opportunity.
Peyer is tossing in a few juicy subplots here and there. All is not wine and roses between Dolphin and Tempest. They just had their first child and Dolphin wants Daddy to stay home with lil’ Flipper, but Tempest would rather risk his neck on a daily basis with the Titans. Personally, I’d choose to spend my time with a white-haired underwater sex goddess rather than tussling with guys who wear speedos over their tights. But that’s just me. Fellow @$$hole Superninja swears up and down that, despite his marriage, Tempest is a closet homosexual. I’m starting to think she’s right. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The events in issue #44 seem to indicate that Dolphin has had enough with the Titans and things are going to come to a head real quick.
One thing Peyer does right is that he understands the Titans. When I get together with my long time friends, half the time, the sentences begin with, “Remember that time…” That’s just something friends do. We talk shit about stuff that we went through in the past. We laugh. We cry. We remember. We argue, and make up. And everything is okay because we’ve been friends long enough to appreciate each other’s personalities. That’s what being friends is all about. The Titans are a group of long time friends. They were brought together under weird circumstances, but it was the same circumstance: they were teen sidekicks. They were the only ones that could understand their specific problems and shared a bond because of it. A cool thing that Peyer has been doing since he jumped on this title is peppering a few “Remember that time…”’s in the middle of the story. A few issues back, when Tempest is in pain trying to keep the portal to drug world open, Troia (the former Wonder Girl) reminds him of a game the Titans used to play when one of them had been wounded in battle. There is a flashback to the day Robin decides to unmask himself in front of the rest of the team and Batman chastises him for it. These little panels are a nice touch and add character to a book that has been character-lite for too long.
This issue ended pretty abruptly. The solution came a bit too fast and the ramifications of the events that happen in this issue were not fully dealt with. This means that either Peyer sloppily wanted to wrap things up and get on with his own story or he has plans to re-visit this drug world in future issues. An entire culture addicted to drugs is an interesting concept to delve into. We’ll have to wait and see if the Titans will return to clean up the tangling plot threads.
Barry Kitson’s art is, as always, great. He’s drawing some clean, crisp stories and making the tale fun to read. Unfortunately, Peyer has the team standing around and gabbing a lot, so Kitson’s talented pencils are not used to their fullest capability.
It’s getting better folks. I can’t recommend this title yet, but Peyer is at least heading in the right direction and the art is really good. Next month, Peyer gets to tell a tale from the beginning, centering on the return of Damage and I plan on checking it out. I love the characters he’s writing about. TITANS has the potential to be as great as JLA and JSA. I hope Peyer can get it right.
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #44
J. Michael Straczynski – Words
John Romita Jr. – Pictures
Scott Hanna – Inks
Published by Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
As I read AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #44, I felt a little sad. I guess all the talk of “Ulitmization” (and my own enjoyment of ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN) is beginning to get to me: I can’t help but wonder if perhaps we’re reading the twilight issues of the regular Marvel Universe titles.
On the other hand, there’s plenty of evidence to suggest that the classic Spider-Man isn’t going anywhere. Not only will Kevin Smith, one of the highest profile writers in comics, take over writing chores on AMAZING SPIDER-MAN soon, the similarly high profile J. Michael Straczynski currently writing the book will be continuing on another Spider-Man project as well. That’s a lot of talent and resources to throw at a book that’s “winding down.”
But despite these signs of confidence, the actual quality of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #44 didn’t do much to lift my spirits about the future of title. AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #44 wasn’t a bad comic, and the book even had a fun moment or two. But I found some of the situations too facile, and the general plot wasn’t terrifically exciting for me. And I wasn’t too crazy about the art. All in all, AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #44 was just okay. But come on, you deserve better than okay.
The story begins with Peter and Aunt May apparently in Hollywood so Peter can try to patch things up with Mary Jane. Unfortunately, Mary Jane seems to be resistant. Meanwhile, at a nearby hotel Dr. Octopus tracks down and ends up fighting a man with not just four artificial arms, but six! (Dr. Decapus?) Peter soon hears about the fight and quickly finds himself in the middle of the battling octopi.
Straczynski writes a moment early in the book when Peter tries to explain the last story arc to Mary Jane that came across as charming, but any real communication between the two is stunted for the duration of this issue. I wanted to see them take a swing at the ball, but the most we got was a check swing. Later, when Mary Jane talks to her movie costar in the make-up room, and he’s able to inadvertently sum up her insecurities with Peter so uncannily, the scene felt phony and I wasn’t buying it. Meanwhile the Octopus battle in the hotel felt like just a standard comic book slugfest with few surprises. However, there is an interesting moment when Spider-Man realizes that he has to leave Aunt May for the first time into battle with her knowing he’s Spider-Man.
Perhaps I would have felt a little more satisfied with this issue if the art had been more to my liking. To my eyes, Romita and Hanna’s work seemed a little unfinished, like the art needed more detail. The characters almost have teeth, almost have lips. But instead of looking like tricks of perspective, the images look like the guy who drew them didn’t have time to go into detail with the teeth and the lips. And Aunt May looks like a mummy. The art wasn’t horribly offensive, but I think it may contributed to my overall lack of enthusiasm for the issue.
I was rooting for the issue. I wanted to like the issue. But in the end, I can’t recommend AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #44. If you’re a Spider-Man fan with the capacity for forgiveness or a deeper emotional investment in these characters, you might dig it. Otherwise, you may want to check out Kevin Smith’s recent SPIDER-MAN/BLACK CAT: THE EVIL THAT MEN DO, or yes, even the latest issue of ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN.
X-STATIX #2
Written by Peter Milligan
Art by Mike Allred
Published by Marvel Comics
Jon Quixote (A reviewer)
I just watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time. It has great musical numbers, star-making performances, and a complete disregard for social convention. But even though I still can’t stop humming Time Warp I could not wait for the movie to end. The reason I was so eager to bail on one of the smartest musicals I’ve ever seen is a simple one. I hated all the characters; they were too absurd, too over-the-top, and too repugnant for me to stand, let alone care about. As the minutes ticked by, I cared less and less what was going to happen to this strange ensemble. So once I saw what the show was trying to do – push the boundaries of taste within the musical genre – and how it was accomplishing this goal, there was little reason for me to keep watching.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my X-Statix analogy.
X-Statix is a comic with a unique voice. I did find some of the celebrity culture satire a little heavy handed, and I am unsure as to how this book fits into the established Marvel Universe, if at all. But I’m not such a continuity geek that I’m going to get in a tizzy about a bunch of ugly second-tier mutants becoming massive celebrities in a world where the X-Men deal with hate crimes and there are enough Fantastic Four and Captain America highlights to fill prime time for a century. Peter Milligan is writing a comic that is completely different than any other on the stands. He’s pushing the boundaries of the superhero genre and making an effort to say something with his work. Even if his satire is hit and miss, and not nearly as funny as I expect he wishes it was, I can appreciate his motives. And he writes very well. This issue is very well-paced, Milligan does fully realize his characters, and I’d be lying if the upcoming storyline does not intrigue me a little bit.
But as of this issue, I’m dropping the title.
This is a comic with a unique look. I don’t know whether or not to describe Mike Allred’s art as sloppy and hastily realized, or hyper detailed. I know it invokes the work of old-school masters like Jack Kirby; that Allred conveys energy and action on the page as good as, or better, than anybody in the business; and that this book is a lot of fun to look at, once you acclimatize yourself to the radical departure from mainstream comic art. I quite enjoyed the art in this book.
But I’m still dropping the title.
The characters are interesting, particularly Dead Girl, who has drawn comparisons to Allred’s Madman, and Doop, the strange floating blob who speaks in an unintelligible language. X-Statix is completely comprised of unusual figures with an array of abilities and appearances, but who are totally interchangeable in their alternativeness. Every single character in this book is freakishly weird, designed to ‘push the boundaries’ of the conventional comic book. The result is a group of people who are either too repugnant or too unusual to identify with. Sometimes both. If a government or a television network was putting together a team of superpowered operatives designed to cultivate celebrity status, this is the LAST line-up anybody would choose. One or two of these characters would add flavor and depth to a more traditional superteam, but an entire comic book devoted to them gets boring and annoying really fast.
And that’s why I’m dropping the title.
I don’t buy these characters as celebrities. I don’t buy the notion that I’m supposed to care about them. And, as of next month, I don’t buy X-Statix. I completely doubt Milligan’s ability to make any of these characters touch me, and if I can’t make an emotional investment in a comic book, then I have no reason to continually read said comic book. In the two issues I bought, I got Milligan’s whole superheroes as media stars idea, and I understood the jabs he’s taking at the conventional comic book and at celebrity culture. It was sorta smart, and certainly different; at the very least, I liked the effort he made to use his writing assignment to say something. But once I heard what he had to say, he gave me no reason to keep going back. I’m just not in the mood to feel dirty.
AVENGERS #57
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: Kieron Dwyer
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
A couple’a months back I read AVENGERS #57 when it was previewed in its entirety in the Entertainment Tonight of comics journalism, WIZARD MAGAZINE. I liked the issue then, and I like it now, but I have to admit that it’s not quite a barnburner of an opening chapter. Is that a fair criticism? In decades past, it wouldn’t be, as new Marvel writers were expected to follow through on the continuity established by previous writers - sometimes even tying up loose ends - but in the last year or two, that’s changed quite a bit. Bruce Jones took the reigns of INCREDIBLE HULK and instantly changed the tone and focus of the book. Ditto for Grant Morrison on NEW X-MEN, Ed Brubaker on the relaunched CATWOMAN, and Brian Bendis on DAREDEVIL. These bold new interpretations have had the effect of fracturing the coherency of Marvel and DC’s “shared universe” concept a bit, but they’ve also spoiled me to expect new writers to come in with guns a’blazin’ and wild new angles to terrify the old guard readers.
And Geoff Johns doesn’t quite do that. This isn’t a huge shock when one considers that he’s almost becoming a figurehead for producing terrific superhero writing without compromising old-school superhero values and action (as in books like JSA, THE FLASH, and HAWKMAN), but it does mean that we’re going to have to wait a few issues to see how strong an AVENGERS writer he’ll be. This isn’t a “mission statement” opening issue; there’s no agenda on the table, and a certain part of me is pleased with that low-key approach. AVENGERS, above all other Marvel comics, should be tied into the Marvel Universe at large. When handled right, this allows for the playground of the Marvel Universe to become a character in and of itself, and I suspect this is something Johns will take advantage of.
But this is all abstract, so let’s talk specifics:
AVENGERS #57 opens with a nod to Kurt Busiek’s run, as Wasp and Yellowjacket visit Washington to discuss new security procedures with Congress in the wake of Busiek’s epic “Kang War” storyline. Johns captures some nice moments of reconciliation between the frequently troubled couple, but Jan’s use of a Georgia O’Keeffe painting to draw Yellowjacket out of his emotional shell felt trite to me. Not to worry, though, as their interlude is cut short when the entire city is swept off the face of the Earth by an inexplicable void (only in superhero comics, baby!). Remember “The Nothing” in THE NEVERENDING STORY? The myserious void is a bit like that.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Avengers (along with a few likely new recruits) tangle with the old Thor villain, Mr. Hyde, as he rampages through Manhatten. I’ve liked Mr. Hyde ever since I first ran across him in a memorable AMAZING SPIDER-MAN in the early-80’s, and you gotta give him props for the sheer heinousness of torturing the Avengers’ butler, Jarvis, during the justly famous “Under Siege” storyline from the same era. He’s fierce enough here, and Johns stages some solid battle scenes, but his appearance feels like more of a prelude to action than the main act, again contributing to a somewhat underwhelming opening issue.
Hyde’s real purpose in the story seems to be to introduce new readers (or returning old readers) to the current team, their dispositions, and their abilities. In that he succeeds admirably, and gets a few good lines to boot (“…I’ve bloodied the mighty Thor himself!”). There’s also some memorable interplay between Captain America and his old partner, the Falcon, that immediately brings about a sense of the camaraderie of the series. Cap asks him why he’s changed his costume from his previous armored look, and when Falcon responds, “You want me to be honest?”, Cap answers with an affirming, “I don’t think honesty has ever been an issue between us.” Devotees of the dysfunctional Avengers analogues in THE ULTIMATES might cringe, but as more and more Marvel superheroes become weighed down by feet of clay, it’s nice to see some costumed badasses whose personalities and values are still defined as being better than those of the average man. Marvel’s always had a tradition of flawed characters, but always coupled with an inherent heroism. This is the tradition the Avengers were created in and the tradition Johns looks to uphold.
There’s still some bickering though, and those soap operatic divisions in the team that fans have come to expect. Vision and the Scarlet Witch remain estranged, and the hot-tempered Jack of Hearts isn’t above taking some shots at the second Ant-Man for being “Hank Pym-Lite.” If I have a complaint about the character interaction, it’s that the emotional moments lack a bit of “oomph,” a complaint I also had with Busiek’s run. I absolutely don’t want this book to ever fall into ULTIMATES territory, or shed its all-ages approach, but I do hope that Johns’ game plan includes upping the emotional ante a bit. The final few pages of the story, which include a shocking turn of events related to the void that took Washington D.C., suggest upcoming events so dramatic that it’s hard to imagine the Avengers not succumbing to pressure. Johns has placed the Avengers in a situation that calls to mind the same questions of power that books like THE AUTHORITY have dealt with, and I look forward to seeing how these old-school heroes deal with it.
On the visual side, the book is ably handled by Kieron Dwyer, the series’ regular artist for the last several months. Dwyer’s been on both sides of the mainstream/alternative fence, and while some readers have expressed dissatisfaction with his superhero stuff, I’m actually quite impressed with it. His superhero work has a detailed, energetic, traditional style to it, and I chalk up most of the complaints levied against him to the fact that he had the unenviable task of following in George Perez’s footsteps on the book. Dwyer has actually acknowledged the toll of fan complaints, however, and he’s due to bow out in December to be replaced for two issues by Gary Frank (of HULK and MIDNIGHT NATION fame), and then an unknown regular artist. Johns has worked with some truly impressive artists before, most notably the breakout talent, Scott Kolins, and hopefully he’ll land a worthy co-creator ready to stand with him for the long haul.
Final judgment: Don’t let the unusually bland cover turn you off – if Johns’ track record with classic heroes is anything to judge him by, the title is in for a memorable run. My experience has been that Johns opens his runs quietly, then shoves ‘em on down into overdrive once he’s got the pieces in place. AVENGERS #57 is a conservative opening chapter, but the pieces are in place, and I watch on with anticipation…
GREEN LANTERN: EVIL'S MIGHT # 1
Written by Howard Chaykin & David Tischman
Art by Marshall Rogers, John Cebollero & Chris Chuckry
HAWKMAN: SECRET FILES & ORIGINS #1
Written by Geoff Johns, Dan Curtis Johnson, J.H. Williams III, Jim Beard, Eliot Brown
Art by Patrick Gleason, Greg Scott, Eliot Brown, Rags Morales, Michael Bair, Stephen Sadowski, Walter Simonson, Richard Case, Rick Burchett, Bryan Talbot, Christian Alamy, Mick Gray, Andrew Pepoy, Keith Champagne, Tom McCraw, John Kalisz.
Published by DC
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
I'm not a big fan of DC's Elseworld books. They either seem to all be set in the Gaslight Era or in feudal Japan. GREEN LANTERN: EVIL'S MIGHT # 1 is set in the former. The good news, though, is that two of comics greats, who came to prominence with excellent, almost under the radar work in the '70s, give us an excellent, multilayered, great looking story. What else would you expect from Howard (CODY STARBUCK, MONARK STARSTALKER, STAR WARS, THE SHADOW, AMERICAN CENTURY) Chaykin and Marshall (BATMAN, THE SILVER SURFER) Rogers?
It's New York, the Bowery, approximately the end of the 19th Century. You know, the era from that Bugs Bunny cartoon where a tough gambler named Steve Brody jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge because he kept seeing Bugs everywhere. Kyle Rayner is a member of an Irish mob lead by Alan Scott. Hal Jordan is a NYPD inspector, engaged to suffragette Carol Ferris. No one is really what they seem. Kyle hates Alan's violence and just wants to draw political cartoons making fun of Boss Tweed, who wants him dead. Jordan is a good cop, ready to take on the powers on both side of the law, but equally ready to kill Kyle for making time with Carol Ferris and Green Lantern for making him look foolish.
Did I mention that Kyle got hold of a green lantern and a power ring? He tries to make permanent changes for the people in the Bowery, but when that fails, he resolves himself to more immediate good deeds.
The HAWKMAN book features a couple of good stories with fine art. Geoff Johns has the unique talent of making low level supervillains interesting without going for shock value. The focus of the stories are the villains in one and a pair of investigators from "The Department Of Extranormal Operations" in the other. When Hawkman and Hawkgirl appear, briefly, it is awesome, as it should be. For me, the real star of the book is Eliot Brown. Brown is an editor, writer and artist. In the '80s, he did all of the exquisite, realistic blueprints in THE OFFICIAL HANDBOOK OF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE which was published in affordable monthly comic book form and covered everything in the Marvel Universe, unlike the upcoming, expensive yet skimpy hardback thing they're doing now. Brown gives us the layout of The Stonechat Museum and the various weapons housed there. Also, I'm sure he was the chief contributor of OHOTMU-like files on Hawkman, Hawkgirl, villainous Kristopher Roderic, Dr. Fate, Shadow-Thief, Speed Saunders, Nighthawk (hey aren't there at least three characters in the Marvel Universe with that name?) & Cinnamon, and the Gentleman Ghost.
Title: WEAPON X: THE DRAFT (5 part miniseries running through August)
Title: WILD CHILD
Writer: Matt Nixon
Pencils: Ethan Van Sciver
Title: SAURON
Writer: Buddy Scalera
Artist: Karl Kerschl
Title: KANE
Writer: R.A. Jones
Artist: Pablo Raimondi
Title: MARROW
Writer: Christina Z
Pencils: Brandon Badeaux
Title: AGENT ZERO
Writer: Frank Tieri
Pencils: Killian Plunkett
Publisher: Marvel
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Continuing Marvel’s never ending quest to exploit the letter X, the company is getting ready to churn out a new book entitled WEAPON X. The Weapon X program has a long history in the Marvel Universe. Ever since a furry little guy named Wolverine sharpened his metal claws on the Hulk’s backside way back in INCREDIBLE HULK #180, the Weapon X program has been ominously looming in the shadows. Wolverine has vague memories of being poked and prodded by a cadre of scientists bent on creating a new super-soldier, but very little is known about this organization set deep in the snowy forests of Canada. In recent months, regular WOLVERINE writer and former DEADPOOL scribe, Frank Tieri, has been hinting that a new Weapon X program is being assembled by the mysterious Director, a former Weapon X guard who was hideously scarred when Wolverine escaped the project many moons ago and whose pure hatred for the li’l furry guy has prompted him to work his way up in the ranks into the director’s chair.
WEAPON X: THE DRAFT is a quintet of one-shots that sets the stage for the regular series which debuts in September. Each issue features a different member of the cast and sends them on a mission that tests their limits, their sanity, and their loyalty to the program. Most of the team has either taken on the X-Men, been an X-Man, or has had some connection with the letter X at some point in their lives. They don’t really have a choice when it comes to joining the team. It ain’t called The Draft for nothing. If the Director wants you in this program, there isn’t much you can do to get out of it. This series explains how each member has been either tempted or blackmailed to join the program. The one shots range from shitty to ehhh to partially interesting to promising.
The Shitty: By far, the worst one-shot issue was SAURON, whose character is a cross between Gonzo from the Muppets and Brainy Smurf. He thinks he’s a genius, but no one else in the program really likes or respects him. The Director sends him on a mission that he knows Sauron cannot accomplish, but somehow the flying reptile survives. Like Gonzo or Brainy Smurf, Sauron is around to be the butt of everyone’s cruel jokes, so I guess this issue does a good job of establishing his role on the team, but he is such an annoying character that I don’t really give a shit about him and the story did nothing for me.
The Ehhh: The two middle issues, KANE and MARROW, really didn’t do anything for me either. KANE is basically a guy with such an inferiority complex that he has upgraded his entire body with hydraulics, metal claws, and bulky armor. He’s the cold-blooded strong man of the team and that’s about as deep as it gets in this issue. MARROW shares a similar type of inferiority complex because all her life she’s been cursed with pink skin and boney extensions jutting out of various parts of her body (must resist urge to use bathroom humor). TIGRA writer, Christina Z, tries her hardest to tell a heartfelt tale of a disfigured mutant who bargains with the devil to become beautiful and pays a horrible price, but Marrow is a ruthless murderer and it’s kind of hard to feel anything for her when she could drive a bony spike into your throat at any given moment. I loved Z’s mini-series centering on the feline Avenger, but her Marrow story left me cold.
The Partially Interesting: I had followed WILD CHILD’s evolution in ALPHA FLIGHT and X-FACTOR. He’s been around for quite a while and has been depicted as everything from wannabe superhero to beast boy on a leash. This Wild Child is completely different than any past incarnation. He looks more like Count Orlock from NOSFERATU than your typical feral mutant. He makes Marilyn Manson look like a bronze god, and because Sabretooth severed his vocal chords, he can only make hissing sounds, which creeps everyone out even more. Plus his ears make him look like the evil Spike puppet from GREMLINS. It wasn’t a bad re-vamp of the character since he was basically Sabretooth Jr. to begin with. The story centers around Wild Child’s mission to draft Aurora (another former Alpha Flight member) into the program. This is a tragic tale in the vein of Beauty and the Beast that seemed like it was rushed to fit into a stand alone issue. It was a readable story up until the ending, which left one saying “What the fuck?” instead of “What’s next?”.
The Promising: I love a mystery. Dammit, I do. Frank Tieri writes the final installment centering on the mysterious AGENT ZERO. Now this issue wasn’t perfect (the last thing we need is another man with a mysterious past in the Marvel U), but Tieri makes the conflict of the story pretty interesting and drops enough clues about the identity of Agent Zero to pique the interest of this reader. He’s got some connection to Wolverine and feels really bad about doing the things he has to do in the Weapon X program, but he owes the Director his life and that electro-implant in his head helps him deal with that nagging moral code. The issue basically explains his powers and role on the team (he’s the mystery man, if you haven’t guessed). Is he Maverick? Is he James MacDonald Hudson/Guardian? Is Marvel screwing with everyone’s heads royally and really staging the return of the Merc with a Mouth in the pages of WEAPON X instead of AGENT X? Only time will tell.
The art on each issue was done by a different artist, but you could’ve fooled me. Each issue was dark and sketchy, which fit the tone of the series, but didn’t strike me as anything amazing. It conveyed the stories relatively well, and that’s about all there is to say about it. Georges Jeanty’s art for the upcoming regular series looks to be more promising.
I wasn’t going to give this series a good review until I read the final AGENT ZERO issue. Frank Tieri is going to be regular writer for the WEAPON X series and since I liked his AGENT ZERO issue, the series holds some promise. His WOLVERINE and DEADPOOL work was decent, low grade action fare. My critique of his work on those titles crosses over here: his plots seem like they were stolen from Van Damme and Segal flicks with three words in the title. Everything is in place. The characters have been drafted. There’s the mystery man with morals, the strong and silent man-machine, the flying butt of all jokes, the tragic beauty with a bone to pick, and the hissing wannabe vampire. Did I mention that Sabretooth is also going to be leading this team of anti-heroes? The title doesn’t really promise anything new or ground-breaking and it won’t be on my “must have” list, but I’ll give the first couple of issues a try to see if Tieri has any surprises up his sleeve.
JLA #70
Joe Kelly – Writer
Doug Mahnke – Penciller
Tom Nguyen – Inkes
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
Re: Batman and Wonder Woman getting it on.
The last time I wrote a review for JLA , I opened with some positive remarks about the prospect of Batman and Wonder Woman getting together romantically. I liked the idea.
But recently the long range implications of such a pairing have begun to hit me. Clearly, there’s just no way an actual relationship between the two could be sustainable. Each of them have their own titles, their own worlds, and these worlds depend on the characters remaining fairly autonomous. At most, they could only have a tryst. But a tryst would be significant enough to change the way these two characters relate to one another forever, adding a new dynamic to the structure of the entire DC Universe, and becoming another keystone in the DC mythos. This could be big. Killing Robin big. Turning Hal Jordan evil big. Gabby Hayes big.
Of course, this romantic subplot is kept in the background of JLA #70. The story’s main focus is on something entirely different, and a premise that I initially wasn’t too thrilled about: the introduction of a group of superheroes from the ancient past. Yes, another superhero team. What with The Titans, Doom Patrol, the JSA, Suicide Squad and of course, the endless ranks of The Legion (not to mention the Avengers, Defenders, and multiple variations on the X-Men at Marvel), the last thing I need in my life right now is another superhero team to learn. (I suppose you could call this kind of fatigue “The Omega Men” syndrome.) But shut my mouth: In JLA #70 Joe Kelly was somehow able to create a new superhero team and make them interesting.
In fact, I almost found the new team more interesting than the regular JLA. This new group from the “Obsidian Age” draws its members from different cultures from around the world, including a Hebrew Golem, an African female superwarrior, a Native American shaman, an Atlantean sorceress, and Rama Kahn, the group’s leader and (likely) ancestor of the king with power over soil we first met in Kelly’s “Golden Perfect” story. Cross-culture conflicts are part and parcel of superhero groups, but the fact that these conflicts were new, yet somehow still familiar was intriguing. How would a superpowered, multi-theistic African warrior hero get along with the monotheistic Golem? Further, these “heroes” abide by the moral norms of the times. Thus, the beaten army of the supervillains are recruited into slavery. Kelly writes these characters and this context with a nice combination of imagination and popular mythology.
And if you’re going tell a story about mythological characters, having the artwork of Doug Mahnke and Tom Nguyen doesn’t hurt. Mahnke can’t help but draw characters that look grand. On page two there’s a picture of the ancient Egyptian supervillain The Scarab, posing like a glowing steroid monster ready to rip Atlantis, you, and anyone else who gets in his way, apart. On the very next page is a picture of the guy who’s going to stop him, a short, pipe-smoking bushman named Whaler. Whaler exudes so much quiet cockiness in that panel, you know that The Scarab doesn’t stand a chance. These were my favorite panels in the story, but the art throughout is solid as well. Manke and Nguyen’s thick bold lines and sometimes two-dimensional feel can give the action a slightly remote feel; however this iconography also allows the characters exude a power and grandeur marvelously appropriate to the story.
Unfortunately, the plot of the story is actually the weakest part of the issue. Kelly creates these interesting characters, but doesn’t give them too much to do. The JLA really doesn’t do too much either. Plus, there’s a lot of “reading from ye olde ancient scrolls” narration boxes, and a little bit of that goes a long way with me. The issue does obliquely establish who is who, who knows what, and which one of the Obsidian Age characters is acting a little fishy. But for all this exposition, the veil isn’t lifted completely , and there’s little forward movement. I wanted more, but in some respects, that level of interest could be considered a good thing.
Overall, characterization and art carried this comic, and carried it well to the point where if you’re a fan of more textured superhero stories, you should pick up this issue. And plus, the story does have another Batman/Wonder Woman moment. You know, I’m beginning to think that Joe Kelly might be crazy enough to do it. Whether or not this will have the repercussions I predicted remains to be seen. But there is one thing I can almost guarantee: If Catwoman finds out, she’s going to be pissed.
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #47 and #48
Writers: “X-MEN’S Scott Lobdell and Fabian Nicieza”
Pencils: Cliff Richards (no, not THAT Cliff Richards—this is the one who draws
and stuff)
Publisher: Dark Horse
Reviewer: Sleazy G
You’re probably wondering who the hell I am and why I’m reviewing two issues of the same comic. Well, I’ve been a “behind the scenes” member of the TL@ and participated in our two roundtables, but now, like Diana Ross once sang, “I’m comin’ out.” The two-issue review is because, quite frankly, I just went to the comic book store for the first time in six weeks and got both at once.
These two issues are the first to be written by the new team listed above. Technically, #47 was written by Lobdell solo, with Nicieza jumping on board with #48. These are pretty much the highest-profile writers from the comic book world the series has seen. The comic has had writers from the show on stories before, which I guess means THEY might have been higher-profile, but in the world of comics these two are the biggest this book has seen.
Lobdell gets to work with all the big characters in the first issue. It seems like the kids at Dark Horse have decided to build up to a big #50, or at least I would hope they are, so Scott trots out all the members of Angel Investigations from the sister show (and on-again/off-again book) to BUFFY. The inside cover of both issues proclaims this story takes place after BUFFY Season 6. Proving once again that the comics are out-of-continuity, though, we see Faith get to take some time out of prison, which will certainly not be referenced when Season 7 starts next month.
As for the story itself, Lobdell introduces some interesting concepts. #47 opens with Angel and Cordelia investigating a demonic drug dealer back in LA. It turns out that this demon is dealing a new street drug, an idea we’ve seen before, but with a twist: the drugs, called “soul drops”, are harvested from the souls of unborn children. We find out in short order they’re coming from near The Hellmouth in Sunnydale, home to the BUFFY crew, so there’s a reason to bring the cast of both shows together. Unfortunately, this is where Lobdell makes a misstep. WARNING: This is the kind of continuity stuff that only fans of the show care about. If this is supposed to be occurring after Season 6, which ran parallel to ANGEL Season 3, Cordelia should NOT be having head-splitting visions. They stopped being painful early in Season 3. Also, by the end of ANGEL Season 3/BUFFY Season 6, we’re not even sure if Cordelia is still around, and she’s begun to manifest a whole new set of powers. Simply placing the storyline in a slightly different timeframe would have cleared up all the problems, and while it seems like a minor beef to the casual observer, it’s the kinda stuff that drives fans nuts.
In issue #48, the new writer tag team throws us for a major loop. It turns out that Xander and Dawn are imprisoned in a demonically run gulag in Sunnydale along with hundreds of others for reasons we’re not yet privy to. Xander’s former fiancée Anya is there serving gruel to the prisoners, and Xander is doing everything he can to hide from Dawn the fact that Buffy is being forced to battle one demon after another in a cage-match style competition, and she’s really getting beaten to hell in the process. The demons are allowing Buffy just enough time to heal before throwing her back in the ring, and she and Xander have both noticed something odd: in another twist, it seems like Buffy is stuck fighting demons she’s already vanquished in the past.
We have no idea what the hell is going on at this point—why they’re in this place, how they got there, who set it all up, etc. When it looks like Buffy is finally in too deep, she’s suddenly saved by a friend from her past. He breaks in, guns down some demons and pulls Buffy out. In yet another major twist, we’re led to believe it’s ex-boyfriend Riley Finn. Instead, the final panel of the issue reveals it’s really ex-boyfriend Pike, leaving us hanging because by now anybody who follows the Buffyverse is giving it a big ol’ “what the HELL?!?”.
I’ll give this to Lobdell and Nicieza: they’re really throwing out a lotta new ideas. They hit the ground running, and there’s a lot going on here. I hope they don’t burn out too soon, or run out of ideas, or feel a need to keep coming up with something new and end up going to far out. For now, though, it seems like they’re on the right track. If the BUFFY books have been boring you for a while, this might be a good place to come back and check it out again. If you’re a reader who normally stays away from these books but likes what Lobdell and Nicieza have done in the past, give it a whirl and see what you think. If you hate the whole “Buffy” thing, though, you might as well stay away. This series isn’t gonna magically win you over simply by virtue of the writing, since it still contains all the elements that make Buffy what it is.
@$$HOLE CASTING COUCH – PREACHER!
Ambush Bug here with another @$$hole Casting Couch. Let’s face it, folks. Some stories last forever. Others fade away into obscurity. Garth Ennis’ baby, PREACHER, was a great series that turned comicdom on its ear and, for better or worse, established a new standard for the industry. Garth’s tale of an ex-preacher with the voice of God, a hitwoman, and a drunken Scottish vampire was the PULP FICTION of comics and borrowed heavily from war and Western films of old. It was a thoroughly pleasing read, but the series came to a conclusion a few years ago. In a time where flavors of the week change every other day, I fear that the chances for a PREACHER film grow less and less likely as time passes. So let’s let those big time Hollywood producers know that we still want to see PREACHER on the big screen.
Right now, the movie is in development Hades. Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, and Katheryn Bigelow have all been tied to this film at one point or another. But let’s start from scratch. Tacking a director to this project is easy. This film needs someone at the helm who can handle a large cast. Someone who can pay homage to classic Hollywood cinema. Someone with an ear for dialog and an eye for breathtaking cinema. It’s obvious that the films of Quentin Tarantino had a heavy influence on PREACHER. So why not give it to him? You say he can’t direct action. I say thee nay. PREACHER was very much a sitting and talking book. The thing that made the comic exciting was the use of words. Tarantino has that same skill. He can focus the camera on a person talking for five minutes and make it entertaining. That’s the type of guy I want on this one. All he needs is a good FX supervisor so that we can see all of those noses being shot off and I’ll be happy. The time of the Preacher is now. Let’s cast it.
Jesse Custer
has to convey toughness and sensitivity at the same time. A talented young actor should take this part. I’d tell Colin Farrell to put down the Bat cape and cowl, wipe that Eggo off his forehead from that DAREDEVIL movie, and play a part that he’d be perfect for. His accent from the film, TIGERLAND, is what sealed the deal for me.
Tulip is the hitwoman with a heart of gold. She looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet, but still has an inner beauty. I think Chloe Sevigny (KIDS) is a perfect match.
No problem casting < H3>Cassidy, the Scottish vampire. Tim Roth (PLANET OF THE APES, RESERVOIR DOGS) is a match made in comic book heaven.
The maniacal Herr Starr has to be played by someone who’s look says it all. He’s got to be cold as ice and still be the ass of every joke. Check out Jason Isaacs in BLACK HAWK DOWN and THE PATRIOT and tell me he wouldn’t be great as Starr.
What’s an Ambush Bug cast without the ever talented Fred Ward (TREMORS, REMO WILLIAMS)? He’s rough. He’s gruff. He’s perfect for a role like the Saint of Killers
that needs an ominous older presence to be effective.
Since I can’t get enough of the Gool Ol’ Boys, I’d put Jody and T.C. in this film too. Jesse’s evil siblings would add a little extra menace and provide some sick comedic moments. < H3>Jody’s stone visage could be perfectly fleshed out by Peter Stormare (FARGO). He’s big and mean and would throw lil’ Jesse around like a bag of chickens. And speaking of chickens, I’d cast Clint Howard (Ron’s little brother) as T.C.
the chicken molesting hilljack.
What about Jesse’s dear old Grandma
? I’d cast Adrienne Barbeau (SWAMP THING) for this one. She’s still pretty hot for an older woman, so she’d have to wear some old age make-up.
And what’s a PREACHER film without Sheriff Root
and his son, Arseface
, who failed in his own suicide? Brent Briscoe (A SIMPLE PLAN) has that Jackie Gleason/Boss Hogg feel that is needed for this “take no shit” sheriff after Jesse and Co. And I’d cast the ever annoying Macaulay Culkin or one of his cloned siblings as the boy who failed to follow in Kurt Cobain’s footsteps.
Let’s see what my pal, Vroom Socko, would do with this film. Take it away Vroom.
I'm going to try casting by ethnicity (i.e. a Texan for Jesse, German for Starr, Irishman for Cassidy, etc.) Here goes...
Jesse Custer: Luke Wilson (THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS) he's a Texan, and he's got the jaw for it.
Tulip: Gwyneth Paltrow (She and Luke had good chemistry in Tenenbaums, so...)
Cassidy: Colin Farrell (MINORITY REPORT)
Herr Starr: Jürgen Prochnow (DAS BOOT) Just shave him down.
Saint of Killers: James Coburn (AFFLICTION) You thought I'd say Eastwood, didn't ya?
Arseface: Freddie Prinze Jr. (Just picture the ad campain; Freddie Prinze Jr. IS Arseface! Harry'd go nuts.)
God: Himself
As always, I invite you all to agree, disagree, tear us a new one, or put together your own cast. I’m sure every @$$hole in the Talkbacks has an opinion or two. What are they?
