Harry here... As Massawyrm was feeding his oral addiction next to me with everything from Bon Bons to a 200ft tall tub of popcorn, I could hear his jawbone crack under the pressure of the smile this film gave him. I do believe he wasn't paid to like this film... I think. I'm not 100% on that, but this might be a genuine love for the film. I think. Though the Minnie Mouse outfit he was wearing might have been a clue... hehehe... Just kidding, he went into this movie screaming about dragons and came out screaming dragons... And look how he starts his review:
DRAGONS!!! DRAGONS!!! GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING SHIT HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! DRAGONS!!! MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY!!! DRAGONS!!! HOLY SHIT!!! FUCKING DRAGONS!!! MOTHER FUCKER!!! DRAGONS!!!
Did I mention the dragons?
Hola all, everyone’s favorite Smoke billowing, blood swilling, knight shelling, Elder Wyrm here with a look at this summers dragon-slaying adventure, “Reign of Fire”. As a longtime, hardcore fantasy fan this was a movie that sent shivers up and down my spine, gave me goose bumps and sent my adrenal glands into overdrive the moment I laid eyes on the first trailer. I have watched that trailer right here on my computer well over a hundred times. I know the speeches by heart. I hear the sound effects in my dreams. And I see dragons. Everywhere.
So when today finally came I sprung out of bed like a kid on Christmas, counting down the hours to the screening. I began singing Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” altering the words to “Well I fell into a burning Reign of Fire, went down, down, down and the flames went higher…and it burns, burns, burns, that Reign of Fire, the Reign of Fire.” Needless to say, I was stoked. This was to be the movie I’d been waiting years for, a dark fantasy film that was to treat dragons with reverence, respect, but most importantly, fear.
Now this film is very important for number of reasons. First of all, this is the first really dark, seriously backed dragon film in 21 years. Not since the classic Dragonslayer have we seen a film of this scale that dealt seriously with the mythical elements of dragons. Sure, there was Dragonheart, but that was more cute than anything else. But more importantly, Reign of Fire is Hollywood’s toe in the water for fantasy films.
“But Massawyrm, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter already did that! Fantasy’s back!”
Well, kind of. You see, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter are established fantasy adaptations with a reader base of Millions worldwide for each. These books are so well known that people who have not read them know the basic premise of the stories. While each could be considered a risk, there was never really any doubt that either one would make their money back at the very least. But this, this is different. This is an original sci/fi fantasy story that has no established fanbase aside from general fantasy fans who love dragons.
To see what’s so important about this film we have to go back two decades to the early 80’s when a renaissance of fantasy films came to dazzle us. Original works like Dragonslayer, The Dark Crystal, Krull, The Sword and the Sorcerer, The Conan movies and the Indiana Jones films lit up the screen (anyone who wants to argue the inclusion of the Indiana Jones films should note the magical nature of the artifacts and their importance to the endings of the first and third film.) Fantasy and Science fiction films meant big money and many of these films forged us into the geeks we are today. Sadly, for every Legend and Labyrinth there was a Gor and a Deathstalker. And of course, who could forget the Barbarians (starring, aptly enough, the Barbarian Brothers) a favorite of mine when I was young that unfortunately did not hold up over time. With dwindling box office returns on fantasy films, Hollywood looked to other avenues of storytelling and the fantasy genre fell into a void from which only a very few films emerged.
The same thing, oddly enough, happened with comic book films. Well, after the recent, moderate success of X-Men and the tremendous success of Spiderman, you can’t throw a stick in Hollywood without hitting somebody working on a Comic Book film. Wouldn’t it be nice if the same could be said for original fantasy films?
If you answered yes to that question, get yourself psyched up and ready for this Friday, because fantasy is back in a big way. Oh, yes. Oh HELL YES! Reign of Fire kicked my ass from here to the coast and back again.
First of all I have to say that the trailer lied. But don’t get me wrong, it was a beautiful lie. The kind of lie your parents told you at Christmastime that got you all sorts of excited about the gift you dreamed you would get. Then on Christmas morning you opened it up and it wasn’t what you thought you were getting. It was something totally different, but instead was much, much cooler. That’s Reign of Fire.
This is not a balls out action film with thinly painted, two dimensional characters driven by special effects and explosions. Oh, there are plenty of bad assed special effects and explosions, but the trailer failed to give us even a glimpse of who these characters were. These are not traditional action movie stereotypes placed in the film to link one special effect to another. Instead they are richly drawn, finely crafted characters full of emotion, pain, angst and suffering, dealing with a dying world and their place in extinction. Reign of Fire is first and foremost a movie about heroes, their goals and desires and how these goals clash with one another under tremendous pressure.
Christian Bale gives the physically strongest and most virile performance of his career, proving he can easily play the textured characters he’s accustomed to while blowing shit up. He’s fantastically charismatic in this role and even when you think he’s doing the wrong thing, you support him because you understand his reasons. He makes an excellent hero and does a fine job with this.
The real story here, however, is Matthew McConaughey. Dear Christ Almighty, son! Where the hell have you been? Anyone out there with any doubt in their mind as to McConaughey’s ability to be a heroic leading man needs to look no further than Reign of Fire. Dear God, this man simply kicks unholy ass of all kinds in this role. Imagine if you will Han Solo, mixed with a healthy dose of R. Lee Emery in Full metal Jacket, pumped up on so many steroids that his body has become pure muscle and his brain only knows anger, hate and aggression. And then imagine him kicking dragon ass. That’s Matthew McConaughey in Reign of Fire. He is sheer, undaunted, asshole masculinity. From the moment he appears out of his tank he is captivating, being both absolutely detestable and positively heroic at the same time. He is a man on a mission and that mission is clear.
Every single little drop of the good ol’ boy McConaughey is gone, sucked out and replaced by pure, unfiltered testosterone. Not once during the film are you reminded of his prior roles. No pot references or bongo jokes spring to mind. These things fade away into the deep recesses of your memory while you watch McConaughey blow everybody off of the screen. There are even moments where you’d rather watch what he’s doing than gawk at the amazing dragons.
Oh, yes. I didn’t forget the dragons. After all, that’s why you’ve convinced yourselves to see this. All of you Bale hate-a’s and McConaughey loathers have convinced yourselves (and all of your friends) that that’s the only reason you’ll pay to see those two on the screen. Believe me, I know. I’ve listened to you bitch for months. So you wanna know about the dragons, right?
Well, these are hands down the absolute best special effects I have seen in years. I’m actually to the point where I don’t believe they’re computer generated. I believe that whole making of documentary is a sham, a diversion to draw our attention away from the fact that Disney has genetically bred, raised and trained real dragons for the making of this film. They look way too god damned real to be CG. I mean, how does this happen? Episode 2 looked CG. Spider-man looked CG. Hell, Angelina Jolie looks CG. So how does something this realistic seem to come out of nowhere? Why doesn’t everything else CG look this fucking cool?
Why? Because The Secret Lab special effects company did these dragons. And my hat is off to them. Boys, you done good. I absolutely cannot wait to see what you guys come up with next. Sorry, George. Looks like you’re gonna get shafted out of that special effects Oscar again.
These dragons fucking rule. There is no way to describe them without foul expletives. They are the meanest looking, most realistic, vile creatures ever brought to the screen. Simply put, they will astound you. You will be mesmerized, jaw agape, and marvel at their presence. They were well worth the 21 year wait for another bad assed dragon film.
The art direction of this film is just fantastic. The obliterated England, the costumes, the weapons. Every single bit of it put me in a burnt out husk of a world awaiting salvation from the dragon menace. And Rob Bowman’s direction is top notch. His is the talent summer blockbusters are made from. Massive kudos to Rob for his work here. The seamless interaction between the actors and their CG counterparts is a thing of beauty. Everything is brilliantly put together to put us, the audience, in the thick of the action, to stare down the dragons with Bale and McConaughey. Rob Bowman has a big career ahead of him if he keeps taking smart scripts like this one. This film is an amazing effort.
Now comes the sad part of the review, the part in which I must share the few minor flaws this film has. The first, the most inane and the only thing to actually bother me while watching the film was a slight difference between the trailer and the film. Remember when Matthew McConaughey gives that rousing speech in the trailer? “There’s nothing magical about them. They’re made of flesh and blood. You take out the heart, you bring down the beast!” Well, it’s a little different in the film, but it’s so much weaker than the trailer cut. I mean MUCH weaker. It works for the film and the character, but GOD I wanted to hear that speech so bad in all its glory and it just didn’t happen. Sad, but forgivable. I still have the trailer and I will still shout right along with it, just as I have for months.
The only other real flaw is in the pacing. This movie just doesn’t deliver all the OOOMPH that it should in certain, select scenes. The final sequences in particular seem to end just a little too abruptly. We’re left wanting just a little more.
Massa's on crack, ending was great! - harry note
Now the jury is still out on this complaint. I know the ending was altered from its original cut because of test audience reactions to its supposedly “very dark” summation. My guess (and hope) is that the original ending was perfectly paced for the way the movie was set up and the new ending was what they could put together well and still make the release date. Is it a bad ending? Hell fucking no! It’s just a little, like I said, abrupt. It’s still a great ride.
This movie, for me, was my summer climax. It was the one movie thus far that has sent me out of the theatre shaking, swearing, bouncing off of the walls and wishing with all my heart that the rep would show it again so I could turn right around and watch it one more time tonight. At least. This is the movie I have been waiting decades for, and I have finally seen it. And I will see it again on Friday with all of you good people. I’m not saying that I won’t enjoy any other films this summer, I hope to god that I love them all; I just find it hard at this late hour of the night to conceive of anything blowing my ass away like this did.
Rob Bowman, Matthew McConaughey, Christian Bale. You guys are my heroes.
If anyone out there has a copy of the original 240 page script of this puppy or can fill me in on the details of the original ending, please, for the love of all that’s holy, drop me a line and let me know. I’m dying here. I need more dragony goodness.
Tonight I will dream of dragons. And I will love every fleeting moment of it.
Until next time friends. Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. I know I will
Massawyrm
