Hey Folks, Harry here... Massawyrm couldn't handle doing the Indie Indie column without a steady supply of nicotine in his bloodstream, so once he started up injecting pure nicotine back into his bloodstream... he was able to kick back and begin enjoying again with that ever so slight bottom lip twitch. This time he has the scoop on a NZ Zombie flick and more, so enjoy...
Hola all. Everyone’s favorite Chain-smoking, Dr. Pepper Swilling, Indie Schilling man of the people Massawyrm here to announce the grand “no bullshit this time, I swear” reopening of MASSAWYRM’S INDIE INDIE!!! Cue the trumpets and lay down a phat bass groove, because the hopping mad critic Harry loves to hate is back. For those of you unaware, this year I got married and my life was turned on its ear. I’ve moved, transferred to a new video store and all around been out of pocket for the better part of the last few months.
Well after a lengthy stay in Jamaica where I swam with Dolphins and biked down Mount Zion, I have returned anew, ready for action and hungry for movies. I come to you rebuilt, like some ass backwards Steve Austin: better, stronger, faster. “Sure, we don’t have the technology, but fuck it, let’s rebuild him anyway.”
“But what’s different?” you ask.
“What’s Different?” Indeed. You see, my family was very kind to me. My Wife’s Family was equally as kind. Not only did we get everything on our wedding registry, but many fine folks laid down large amounts of scrilla to send us on our married way.
“So what. Big deal. Stop bragging. What does that mean to US?”
I’ll tell you what it means to you. It means my wife let me buy a nice new powerful computer as opposed to the crap assed, Frankenstein of a 266 I built myself from spare parts and have been writing off of for the last year. It means I now have broadband. It means the long standing ban of reviewing web posted material HAS BEEN LIFTED.
You guys hear that? I now accept online content. Is your film posted on a server, waiting to be watched? Would it be easier to post it on a web page then to send it to me on tape? Well, this old Wyrm can now handle that kind of content. You demanded it and well, I got around to it. One restriction: PLEASE DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT SEND ME TRAILERS TO YOUR MOVIE THROUGH E-MAIL. You guys kept blocking my mail server preventing me from getting other e-mails. Trust me. I won’t watch ‘em. I will delete them and swear at you. A lot. I love swearing. I’ll fucking do it.
“But Massawyrm, I’m new to AICN and have never read your column. What the hell are you talking about?”
Well, simply put, you send me your films, I watch your films, I review your films. I sift through the stacks you send me and share with the readers of AICN the absolute, very best of what I find. Have a film that you’re having trouble getting distributed? Can’t get the attention you need to get into festivals? Need that extra little bit of oomph to get noticed? That’s where Massawyrm comes in. Past films in my column have gone from zero acceptance in festivals to playing the circuit and gathering up awards. It’s just that easy.
But first you’ve got to get ‘em to me. And that means sending me a VHS, DVD, VCD or burned CD with the AVI, WMV or Quicktime files of your film so I can watch them. Or the new option: E-mail me a link to where I can download your film for perusal. I don’t care how big or small your film is. Big name talent or no name fresh faces. The Wyrm doesn’t care. I love film. I want to love your film. Send it to me. Here’s the brand, spanking new address.
Massawyrm
6307 Bluff Springs rd apt 614
Austin, TX. 78744
Now, onto the Indie News. I have some cool stuff cooking up for you folks in the coming weeks. Big news on indie films that just look sweet. Let’s kick it off with something that just looks cool as all hell. UNDEAD. What? You have yet to experience the glory that is the UNDEAD trailer. Well, friends, find it here CLICK HERE
“But Massawyrm, that’s old news. Posted weeks ago.” Yes. Yes it is. But not everyone has seen it yet and you need to see that before you see this: An AICN exclusive scene from the film. That’s right, view it here in all it’s Quicktime glory, but be warned. There are brief violent images and some blood, so it’s not really for children okay? Alright? Kiddies been warned? Good. Watch this coolness. CLICK HERE
Yeah, some pretty cool stuff, eh? This cool little Australian is currently trying to find a home here in the states with a distributor. They’re working it right now, but any of you exec types looking for something fun and cool to add to your catalogue should take a gander. I absolutely cannot wait to see this film. A zombie film with a John Woo inspired zombie killing hick wielding a triple barrel shotgun? I’m fucking there. It’s at the top of my summer wish list. Zombie films, especially indie zombie films, are usually a terrible mess. But once every decade or so however, someone comes along and reinvents it. They add their own little piece of genius to the mix and create a cult gem that can be watched over and over again. Romero, Fulci, Raimi, Jackson. I don’t even need to name the films, because you all probably know them by heart, as I do. Well, if this movie comes out as cool as the trailer looks, we might be able to add the Spierig Brothers to that list. This looks fun. Really fun. I HAVE to see this in a theatre. On the big screen. Badly.
The other piece of indie coolness is a little film shooting this summer that they cut an early trailer for to increase awareness and help get investors. While this is usually not the best way to go about it (believe me, I received about a 100 trailers to films yet unfilmed last year and haven’t heard of but a handful going into production) this one just came out great. And it happens to be the kind of film that strikes a chord with this here geek. It’s called Dorks and Dice and you can find the trailer here Dorks&Dice.Com and is about a group of D&D playing teens who somehow awaken an ancient evil. From there they decide to contact the games creator (Oh please give Gary Gygax a cameo) battling evil beasts along the way. The first half of the trailer isn’t really anything special, but the second half is everything it should be. It just gets me fired up for this baby. I want this to be cool so badly. Here’s to hoping Dorks and Dice is everything it should be. I’m gonna be tracking this little baby for a while, so I’ll keep you abreast of any further developments.
Well, that’s it for this week. I’m hoping to have some cool breaking news next week about something very exciting. We’ll see how that all pans out. Send me your goodness folks, or e-mail me any tidbits you have about anything exciting happening in indie film or the indie world.
Until next time, friends. Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. I know I will.
E-Mail: That purplish spot under Quint's left ass-cheek isn't a tumor!
Massawyrm
