Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Okay, so I ballsed up a little. I somehow missed an entire column that these guys sent me. So today, you’ve got TWO big columns jammed together like one. Buckle up... that’s a lot of @$$holes for one day.
Here’s the more recent batch first:
PREACHER: GONE TO TEXAS TPB
writing by Garth Ennis; art by Steve Dillon.
review by Buzz Maverik
This is the first time I've ever read a comic and had it feel like a class assignment. And also, this will be the most Harry Knowlesian review you will see out of me (with all the annoying biographical information). You see, I reviewed an issue of HOWARD THE DUCK which spoofed several Vertigo characters, but I didn't recognize that the main plot of the story spoofed PREACHER because I've never read PREACHER. Hell, it turned out that even the HOWARD cover spoofed the cover of this trade (for the record, I didn't care for this cover by Glenn Fabry. When you have a fine artist like Steve Dillon, why not use Steve Dillon?).
It turned out that PREACHER, naturally, had a huge following on these boards and was highly recommended to me. I promised to check it out and write this review, which is why you're finding a review of an older tpb here. I experienced the closest thing I've felt to pressure while just goofing around here, namely that a lot of people like this book and this isn't normally the type of material I'm attracted to.
First off, let me use the caveat that has saved my ass in the talkbacks many times (but that I would not use if it weren't true): I liked this book a lot, but there were a lot of things I didn't like ABOUT it. Before I go into that, for those as uninitiated as myself, PREACHER is about Jesse Custer, a Texas minister who becomes the host of an entity that is a cross between angel and demon , an entity as powerful as God. The entity, Genesis, wipes out Jesse's entire congregation. Jesse finds himself first on the run, then on a quest to find God and get answers, aided by his ex-girlfriend Tulip (who might or might not be a hit woman now) and an Irish vampire named Cassidy. Pretty cool concept.
Steve Dillon has restored my faith in modern comic artists. His work reminded me of David Mazzuchelli's, with a realism and an ability to depict "ordinary" people and places that has been missing in a lot of artwork since the late '80s. He has the ability to draw pages of people sitting in a diner and talking and still make it interesting. One thing I didn't like was that the artwork seemed static in places where it should have been kinetic. In scenes where characters get their jaws shot off, they'd just sit like they were enjoying the breeze. But Dillon is able to convey emotion and character traits as well as any artist I've seen lately.
Garth Ennis great gift is his dialogue. I like the way these characters talk, with wit and nuance. Again, you can read a long conversation in PREACHER without getting bored, something you can't do with many comics. However, the dialogue is also one of my major problems with this collection. Now, I have a foul mouth and I come from a predominantly foul mouthed family, but this book contains more "fucks" than your average episode of THE OSBOURNES. This is like Oliver Stone's screenplay for SCARFACE which reportedly contained about 400 "fucks" and Pacino added about 200 more himself. I don't know too many people who talk like this, and you certainly never see more than one in a given group, so a lot of the dialogue comes off like a comic book writer getting his rocks off because he can use swearing in his dialogue and knowing that it will be eaten up by fanboys excited that their comics are all grown up. Alright, Garth, you can write "fuck", not get on with everything.
I was expecting the ultra-violence and gore, so I don't have a real problem with it here. This is Ennis and Dillon's creation and what they do works here. I hate Ennis' FURY at MAX and now I see that he'd probably rather be working on his own creation but is collecting a huge payday for working on a character that probably doesn't interest him much. Marvel should be smart and allow Ennis and Dillon to create something of their own.
My favorite character was Cassidy, a regular guy who happens to be a vampire. I also liked the portrayal of the frightening Sheriff Root and his mirror image The Saint of Killers. I was intrigued by Root's son Arseface.
I definitely want to see where all this going and will eventually read the rest of the trades if they are up to the quality of GONE TO TEXAS. But...I sort of feel about this stuff like I do the movies TAXI DRIVER or BLUE VELVET --- great, brilliant, I'm glad I experienced it and will again, but just not any time too soon.
Amazing Spider-Man #481
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Artist: John Romita, Jr.
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Jon Quixote
For a while, I really hated Marvel. Hated them with a passion, for they were a bunch of editorial-driven dipshits who could not leave well enough alone, and messed with one of the most touching pieces of literature I had ever read.
Amazing Spider-Man #400. The Death of Aunt May. After a long illness, May Parker goes gently into the good night. Before she does, she lets Peter know that she is aware of his dual life, has been for a long time, and is proud of him. Then, quoting J.M. Barrie, Peter says goodbye, and holds May in his arms as she passes on. It was an issue that paid tribute to one of the most enduring characters in comic history while finally rewarding her with respect that had been denied her for 30 years. It was beautiful. It was natural. It was amazing.
And Then. They Brought. Her Back.
Motherfuckers.
The dead May wasn’t May, it was an actress (wtf??) planted there by Norman Osborne (who also wasn’t dead, wtf??) simply to fuck with Peter’s mind. The real May had been kidnapped but rescued and returned just in time to return to continuity as Marvel tried to recover from the Clone debacle. This is right about the time that they went into bankruptcy. Ahh, karma.
But right now, all is forgiven. Because J. Michael Straczynski has turned this resurrected May into pretty much the best character in the Spider-Man universe. This isn’t helpless ‘oh, my heart’ May, this is a fiery independent woman with a sharp sense of humor, resourcefulness that extends beyond her years, and a backbone that is more rock-solid than Benjamin Grimm on Viagra. And for the first time, I really get the impression that May Parker is a woman capable of raising the boy who would grow up to become Peter Parker.
And it’s not just Aunt May. Spider-Man’s supporting characters are all fascinating three-dimensional constructs that have more emotional complexity than I do. They were always great, but now, they’re alive. I had to read the conversation between J. Jonah and May three times before I realized what it was that struck me about it; it was an actual conversation. Not a way to mask an overtaxed writer’s filler material as characterization (Sorry Bendis). Not a way to show-off glib dialogue by getting Batman to reference Osh-Koshes (Sorry Kevin). This is an actual conversation; real, important, brief, and resonant.
New York City has always been an integral part of Spider-Man, but in Straczynski’s hands, it’s more than just an atmospheric setting. It’s a character in its own right, vibrant, unique and teeming with humor. The popcorn scene in this issue – one page long – is alone worth the cover price. But New York here is also a scary place to live. Not since Marvels have I been given such a glance into what a wonderful and foreboding place the Marvel Universe’s Big Apple must be.
And, if you haven’t heard, Spider-Man is funny again. Pass it on.
Amazing Spider-Man #481 (I refuse to even acknowledge Marvel’s arbitrary relaunch attempt.) is the perfect example of what a series’ 481st issue should be. It shows beloved characters in new lights, while staying true to their spirit. And, most importantly, it makes you want to buy issue #482.
Oh yeah…the plot. It’s a new story arc, so jump on now. Missing street kids. Potentially cool new villain. Some social relevance. Not that it really matters. The characterization alone sells the book. I’m back to buying Spider-Man, and I want to give J. Michael a big hug. He’s well on his way to becoming the best writer on the title…ever. And he hasn’t even killed a major character yet!
Although, if he ever decides to knock off Aunt May, and I now hope that time does not come for many, many years, my advice to him would be to just roll over issue #400. It’s still great.
My Rating: Look, if you’re reading this column, you’re a comics fan. And if you’re a comics fan, you like Spider-Man. Don’t even try to deny it. You do. And if you read comics, and like Spider-Man, and you’re not buying this book, nothing I can say is going to convince you otherwise. Why? Because you’re a dink, a moron, and a waste of DNA. Go sterilize yourself before you further contaminate the gene pool. Thank you.
The Adventures of Superman #604
Written by Joe Casey
Drawn by Carlos Meglia, Sanford Greene & Paco Herrera
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
This month, Superman has met three of his most dangerous foes. Namely, artists Carlos Meglia, Sanford Greene and Paco Herrera.
Okay, hackneyed barbs aside, let me begin this review by saying a few words about the art in all of the Superman books right now. The regular artists on the books for the past few months have been Ed McGuiness, Yvel Guitchel, and Duncan Rouleau. None of these men have a drawing style that’s exactly what you’d call photo-realistic. McGuiness draws big puffy people, Rouleau does expressionistic caricatures, while Guitchel seems to mirror Doug Mahnke’s iconographic style with a bit more sketchy-ness. And while a stylized approach to the comic art can often be very evocative and effective, sometimes the result can be too emotionally inaccessible and alienating. How can one take seriously the circumstances that Superman finds himself in if all the characters look like stuffed animals? Rankin and Bass cartoon characters? Sketches from the liner notes of Radiohead album?
And so we come to back to Adventures of Superman #604, the second part in a three part story-line involving Superman, a super-baby, and the Crime Syndicate of Amerika. To recap AOS #603: a super-powered baby with a familiar spit-curl suddenly and mysteriously appears in Metropolis to wreak havoc. After a struggle, Superman finally subdues the baby by putting it inside his globed Fortress of Solitude that he inserted in place of the globe atop the Daily Planet building. But no sooner does he get the baby inside than Ultraman, Superman’s evil doppelganger from the anti-matter dimension, appears. End #603.
In #604, Ultraman and Superman battle over the baby inside the vast Fortress. (Although the exterior of the Fortress is the size of the Daily Planet globe, the interior is a warped space that is quite large, like Dr. Who’s phone booth). Stuff gets broken, Ultraman threatens the baby, and then Owlman and Superwoman (Batman and Wonder Woman’s anti-matter doppelgangers, respectively) appear. Superman surmises that the baby must be Owlman and Superwoman’s lovechild, but then Owlman threatens to kill the baby himself. Before Superman can throw them all out, save for the innocent baby, the baby makes a startling revelation.
To me, the elements to this story sound like they may hold some promise. The Crime Syndicate is a throwback idea from Bronze Age that hasn’t really been fully explored in the current continuity since Grant Morrison re-introduced the elements in the graphic novel Earth-2. Sounds like kitschy fun, right? Wrong. Any potential the story might have had is squashed by the Meglia, Greene, and Herrera artwork. What does the art look like? Think Tiny Toon Adventures, only more angular. (In fact, the super-baby bears an uncanny resemblance to The Brain from Pinky and the Brain.) Rather than illustrated human beings, we’re left to deal with very stylized cartoon characters. Serious emotional investment in the story is out of the question. Even accepting it as simple satire is a stretch. The story was clearly not broad satire, yet that would be the only type of story for which I could imagine that kind of art being appropriate. Is that the level at which Superman should be written and presented?
Meglia, Greene, and Herrera are clearly very talented guys, as are all of the artists that I mentioned that are currently at work on Superman. Often the question is not so much of quality, but of appropriateness. I would argue that instead of invigorating the titles with freshness and innovation, these artists instead alienate potential readers as well as long time fans of the character, preventing the Superman titles from having the greater popularity they might otherwise enjoy. I’m sure there was a story in there somewhere in #604, but ultimately, who cares?
Fables #1
Written by Bill Willingham
Drawn by Lan Medina
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
Heads-up, Vertigo-whores, we may have another winner here. No doubt you’ve been looking for a title to take the edge off of recent Vertigo failures like AMERICAN CENTURY, OUTLAW NATION, THE CRUSDADES, and CODENAME: KNOCKOUT, and stand proudly beside the likes of LUCIFER, 100 BULLETS, and TRANSMETROPOLITAN. Oh, alright, let’s not jump the gun overpraising it just yet, but this first issue is solid as a rock. It’s hooked me for and I have a feeling it’s gonna click with readers.
The premise is this: all those characters we know from fables and fairy tales, from Snow White to The Big Bad Wolf to Jack (of Beanstalk fame), have been driven from their magical homelands by a mysterious power known as “The Adversary.” For reasons unexplained as yet, they’ve set up a temporary base of operations beneath the streets of the decidedly non-magical land of New York City. They call it Fabletown, and they’ve got their own government and their own codes. King Cole is the mayor, but Deputy Mayor Snow White is the real power behind the community. She’s played as a no-bullshit businesswoman, and continuing the realistic hook, we see Beauty and the Beast dealing with marital troubles, Prince Charming as a gigolo who beds a waitress to pay for a meal, and a reformed Bigby Wolf (aka “The Big Bad Wolf”) as head of Fabletown security.
It’s pretty cool stuff. Writer Bill Willingham (THE ELEMENTALS, SANDMAN PRESENTS: THE THESSALIAD) takes characters that every kid is familiar, overlays them with three-dimensional characterization and projects them into a contemporary setting. "I've used the source material before these tales were cleaned up for a more delicate society," Willingham said in an interview for Newsarama. "But I've distorted them as well, by forcing modern sensibilities and viewpoints on the old tales - just in different ways. We'll get into the sex lives, bigotries, petty jealousies, and conniving ways of our cast, in true soap operatic fashion.” If that has you thinking, “typical Vertigo overhaul,” well, you’re partially right, but admit it – it’s a fun concept for adult readers. I also think Willingham’s sly humor and likeable cast of characters are a winning combination. Snow White is already shaping up to be the cutest cast-iron bitch this side of U-Go Girl from X-FORCE, though harried detective Bigby Wolf (magicked to appear like as a human) may end up stealing the show. All I know is that I’m dying to see more of these characters, and of course, I want to know if Rose Red has really been murdered.
Oh yeah, the murder thing. Seems the apartment of Rose Red, Fabletown’s resident party girl, has been found drenched in blood, with Rose herself nowhere to be found. Current beau, Jack (again, of Beanstalk fame) is suitably worried. Right now that mystery is the hook of the series, but with the huge playground of fairy tale characters Willingham has at his disposal, seems future issues could take the book in just about any direction he wants.
Artwork? Slick, detailed, and totally professional, the work of one Lan Medina. He’s a new name to me, but his deft realism is perfectly suited for grounding these characters in reality. It’s not art that’ll grab you by the scruff of your collar and make you take notice – this is somewhat standard Vertigo realism typical of books like HELLBLAZER and AMERICAN CENTURY. But it’s good at what it does, and Medina’s characters are notably distinct. Even a realist on the order of Steve Dillon can’t always pull that off. It’s a pretty package, make no mistake.
Anyway, you’ll want to be trying this out. It’s got a lighter tone than a lot of Vertigo titles (which I consider a definite plus), but there’s a little sex, a little violence, and a little swearing to push all the right R-rated buttons. Just the stuff you need for a good fable.
Score: 4 out of 5
Title: Marvel Knights Double-Shot #2
Writers: Grant Morrison (Story One) & Ted McKeever (Story Two)
Artists: Manuel Gutierrez (Story One) & Ted McKeever (Story Two)
Publisher: Marvel
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Some characters dwell in the periphery. Sure some obscure characters can be interesting in the hands of the right creative team, but for the most part, they are cool because of what they represent, not for the characters themselves. Two such characters are represented in the most recent issue of Marvel Knights Double-Shot.
Marvel Knights Double Shot (not to be mistaken with Marvel Knights featuring the non-team of Daredevil, the Punisher, and the Black Widow) focuses on characters who walk Marvel’s darker, seedier side. The first issue featured an over the top Punisher gore-fest by Garth Ennis and Joe Quesada and a quirky, forgettable Kingpin/Daredevil story by Rob Haynes. This issue seemed like a compilation of back up stories that never saw the light of day and were sewn together to make a quick buck. In issue two, another pair of prominent creators tackle some more obscure characters with mixed results.
A story by Grant Morrison starts off the issue. “Nick’s World…” is a short story featuring a so-called master of disguise and his attempts to impersonate Nick Fury to his very core. Chris Kong calls himself the Ultimate Enemy Agent, but keeps fouling up every time he attempts to become the gruff leader of the largest espionage organization on Earth. The story is peppered with bits of humor; some over the top and some pretty funny.
I’ve come to read Morrison’s stories with a shrewd eye lately. His brainless blockbuster flick style JLA and choppy, character-lite New X-Men have left a bad taste in my mouth. It has been a long time since the quirky, bizarre days of Doom Patrol, Aztek, and the Invisibles, but this Nick Fury tale is a step in the right direction.
The story uses weird details and bizarre situations to shed some light on what it is like to be Nick Fury, but still feels like a back up that has been sitting around in a drawer in the Marvel offices for a bit too long. Nothing of real monumental importance happens. The punch line towards the end of the story and the last “looking into the camera” panel feel like it is a left over from Marvel’s Assistant Editor’s Month from all those years ago.
I do appreciate a tale about the REAL Nick Fury. Lately, the Fury character has changed forms more times than Oprah. He’s an eighty year old sleaze bag in Ennis’ MAX title. He’s Samuel L. Jackson in the Ultimate Universe. He’s David Hasselhoff in the world of television. But none of them measure up to the real deal. Fury is best used as a presence in the Marvel Universe. He’s ever been able to carry his own book for long (excluding early Steranko stories), despite various attempts to make him a solo character. I would much rather see stories of Nick bossing around Captain America and flying in with his helicarrier to save the day, than another tale like this one. This story attempts to give the reader a clue as to what it is like to be Nick Fury, but fails to do so in the end. Once again, Morrison falls short when it comes to characterization and in a story like this, character is needed to make it anything worth while.
The second story is everything Marvel Knights Double-Shot should be. “Memories of Green” takes a talented creator and mixes in an obscure character to make an extremely cool story. Ted McKeever may not be for everyone. Some might be turned off by his minimalistic renderings, but I have enjoyed his surreal art and storylines since reading his Hellraiser stories many moons ago. Since then, McKeever has worked on various Vertigo mini-series and Batman projects, and I have enjoyed most of them. McKeever is the David Lynch of comics. His artwork is horrific, simplistic, and beautiful all at the same time. His stories are simple and labyrinthine all at once. No one is better suited to tell the tale of Marvel’s shambling mound, the Man-Thing.
In a little barn on the edge of a cliff, an unnamed mad doctor is attempting to find out the secrets of emotions. We are never clued in as to how he has done it, but in the back of his lab, behind the electrodes and the generators, past the cadaver on the table and the rows of test tubes, he has the Man-Thing shackled to the wall as a lab specimen. This is a little tale of a man who doesn’t feel emotion and his attempts to find the very essence of that which he lacks. McKeever often draws inspiration from films and he does it again with this tale. Using themes from Jeunet and Caro’s City of Lost Children, McKeever tries to get to bottom of what it is like to be the Man-Thing.
At its core, Man-Thing is pure empathy. People often refer to the Man-Thing as a rip-off of DC’s Swamp Thing and in many ways it is, but Man-Thing is not so much as a character, but a vehicle for a story to unfold around. It doesn’t really have a personality, but like Nick Fury as the ever present eye of SHIELD, Man-Thing works best within a story that is not necessarily about him. McKeever uses a mad doctor’s warped quest for the secret of emotions to give dimension to a character who is often as interesting as a stump. This tale alone makes me recommend this title. Unlike Morrison’s Fury, McKeever weaves an interesting story around a character that often does not have what it takes to carry a story on its own.
The cover, by Preacher cover artist, Glenn Fabry, is well done, but Nick Fury’s statement looks as if he is on the receiving end of a full on Giant Size Man-Thing onslaught…
That is the most disgusting thing I have ever written. I deeply apologize.
I would like to see more of this comic in the future. It is a great vehicle for tales that might not fit into the runs of regular Marvel Knights titles, but unfortunately, the stories seem to be mostly filler. If Marvel can wrangle together some more stories like McKeever’s tale, this is an anthology title that might not disappear as quickly as others have in the past.
Nightwing #69
Written by Chuck Dixon
Drawn by William Rosado
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
I am not normally a reader of the Batman titles. I decided to hop on during the whole Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive story-line just to give things a whirl, and because I’m a crossover floozy. But I’m learning to mend my ways.
On the other hand, this ride through the Batman titles hasn’t been completely disappointing. As a matter of fact, there have been some moments throughout the story-line that have caused me to mull over whether or not to become a more interested in Batman in general. I found the relationships in Gotham Knights #26 particularly compelling (that little Tim Drake punk!). But as time has gone on, the actual Bruce Wayne: Fugitive story fades further and further into the background, and my initial interest in the titles begins to fade. The biggest connection in the previous week’s Detective Comics #770 to the Fugitive story was the detectives on the case shooting the breeze and playing darts.
This week we have Nightwing #69, billed as Bruce Wayne: Fugitive, Part Nine. Last month, Nightwing learned that whoever killed Vesper, the ex-girlfriend of Bruce Wayne who Wayne was convicted of murdering in his house, must have somehow come in through the Batcave. In this issue, Nightwing, Robin, and Alfred try to find the entrance to the cave where the murderer came in. Their search leads them to an old abandoned barn on the grounds of the Wayne estate with a secret hole in the floor, and eventually to a couple of pieces of evidence. Meanwhile, in Nightwing’s hometown stomping grounds of Bludhaven, Nightwing alter ego Dick Grayson’s partner goes on a drug bust. After the bust goes down, her fellow officers decide to take the dealer’s loot, and Grayson’s partner is forced to make a decision.
Kudos to this issue for keeping it’s eye on the Bruce Wayne: Fugitive ball. On the other hand, it felt like a segue between two more significant chapters to the story. The purpose of the issue was to convey the fact that A) the evidence was found and B) Dick Grayson’s partner is a particular kind of cop. That’s all. None of it was particularly bad, in fact it all seemed fairly capably executed, with Nightwing crawling around in some caverns. William Rosado and Rob Stull’s art presents Chuck Dixon’s story nicely (unobtrusively), but the issue is nothing to jump up and down about.
And here’s the slightly older batch. I apologize again to the Talk Back @$$holes (a phrase I never thought I’d type) for my tardiness. What can I say? I’m a tard.
SPIDER-MAN: BLUE
writing by Jeph Loeb; art by Tim Sale.
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
The team of Loeb and Sale is doing some of the most exciting and interesting work with mainstream heroes in limited series these days. SUPERMAN FOR ALL SEASONS, BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN, BATMAN:DARK VICTORY and DAREDEVIL:YELLOW are all incredible works, insightful and retro in a good way.
SPIDER-MAN: BLUE is their latest, just in time to capitalize on the release of the SPIDER-MAN movie. It is a good companion piece to the film in that we find Peter Parker reflecting on his early college days when he first became friends with Harry Osborn, first learned that Norman Osborn was not only the Green Goblin but knew his secret identity, and most importantly, first met Gwen Stacey.
Today, Gwen Stacey is an almost forgotten character. The character that Kirsten Dunst plays in the film is a composite of the Betty & Veronica of Peter Parker's life, Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson. Dunst's character has Mary Jane's problems and ambitions, but she's closer to Gwen in personality. Gwen was a science major at Empire State University and casually dated both Harry Osborn and Flash Thompson. At first, she didn't like aloof and standoffish Peter Parker who never had time for anyone (because he was off saving the city from the Rhino and other menaces, but Gwen had no way of knowing that). Rereading THE ESSENTIAL SPIDER-MANS, you can tell that Lee and Romita always intended for Peter to end up with Mary Jane. The problem was that Gwen seemed more suited to Peter and M.J. was Spider-Man's kinda gal, tiger. At any rate, the Goblin would one day murder Gwen Stacey on the Brooklyn Bridge (some fan boys say the George Washington Bridge, and I don't care which one so don't tell me).
SPIDER-MAN: BLUE is a character piece, told in Peter's voice. Loeb nails the emotions of a heartbroken young man trying to move on from great tragedy, but who cannot resist looking back on his first, real lost love. He equally nails the voice of a self-assured, smartass brawler who enjoys taking down a maniac.
Sale disappointed me slightly here. The artwork in Spidey's battle with the Goblin seemed rushed and is lacking in detail. But the rest of the book is spectacular especially a double splash page of Spidey approaching the bridge at night. And he draws the characters beautifully. One of the things I always enjoy about Sale is guessing his references for characters, i.e. the D.A. in DARK VICTORY was Lana Turner, Karen Page in DAREDEVIL YELLOW was Grace Kelley. I'm betting that Gwen Stacey is either a blonde Ann Margaret or a young Elizabeth Montgomery.
My rating: So good it makes me even more impatient for Loeb and Sale's planned HULK: GRAY.
TOM STRONG'S TERRIFIC TALES # 3
written by Alan Moore and Steve Moore.
art by Alan Weiss, Arthur Adams and Jerry Ordway.
Review by Buzz Maverik.
If I were reading this review instead of writing it, the first thing I'd be thinking would be, "This book has been on the racks for over three weeks. Why review it now?"
Why indeed! The main reason I haven't reviewed this book sooner is that I kept saying, "Aw, screw it." I figured I could get away with it, passing the review off as more of a review of the series than the individual issue.
TSTT is the newest mag in Alan Moore's America's Best Comics, which is part of Wildstorm, which is part of DC. The premise of the ABC books is that these are comics in a universe where SUPERMAN was never published. Naturally, without the granddaddy of 'em all, comic books and comic book heroes would be a little different.
Tom Strong is an adventurer in the DOC SAVAGE mode, with elements of SUPERMAN and the Marvel Family thrown in. Born in 1900 to scientist parents who were shipwrecked with their equipment on a tropical island, Tom was raised in a heavy gravity, isolation chamber. This bizarre upbringing resulted in Tom's powerful physique and brilliant scientific mind, with a few minor but interesting maladjustments. When his parents are killed in an earthquake, Tom escapes the gravity chamber with the aid of his father's steam powered robot Pneuman. Tom is adopted by the island's other inhabitants, the Ozu, a tribe descended from shipwrecked slaves. The Ozu are incredibly long lived thanks to a plant called galoka which, of course, only grows on their island (in some stories set in the '20s through the '40s, we see Tom smoking galoka cigarettes). Tom grows to manhood and returns to Millennium City, U.S.A., where he becomes a "science hero". With his raw power and pulp hero advanced weaponry, he battles a number of menaces, including Paul Saveen, a cross between Professor Moriarty and Lex Luthor.
Tom eventually marries Dhalua, the beautiful princess of the Ozu. Tom and Dhalua have an equally beautiful daughter Tesla, who is over 60 years old in current continuity but appears to be about 18. Dhalua, Tesla, the robot Pneuman and Solomon, a gorilla with the mind of a British butler, aid Tom in his battles against science villains.
Alan Moore was responsible for making comics "grim 'n' gritty" in the 1980s with MARVELMAN, THE KILLING JOKE and especially THE WATCHMEN, but he has stated in numerous interviews that he's never been altogether comfortable with how firmly that trend has become entrenched. As with previous works such as 1963 and SUPREME: THE RETURN, Moore uses Tom Strong as a way of telling and spoofing old fashioned tales at the same time. He has an encyclopedic knowledge of comics and clearly loves comics, but is able to poke fun at them without making fun of them. It is a rare talent.
The original TOM STRONG comic focuses more on Tom's "current" adventures with his family and usually contains clear, wonderful artwork by the character's co-creator, the vastly underrated Chris Sprouse. TOM STRONG'S TERRIFIC TALES is an anthology book with art by a rotating series of top guest artists. Jerry Ordway opens up issue # 3 with an action short set in the Golden Age of Hollywood. This is great storytelling through artwork, with a script by "Affable" Al. This episode is also a bit of departure for TSTT, which up until now has featured slightly darker stories of the title hero than the original book.
One of the back up features of TSTT is always a JONNI FUTURE story written by Steve "No Relation" Moore (the guy who taught Al how to write comics), with art by co-creator Arthur Adams. This is an ADAM STRANGE, FLASH GORDON, MYSTERY IN SPACE type character, with a slightly skewed, modern twist. Jonni Future is a young woman who inherits an old home from her uncle who was a pulp writer. It turns out that the home is a gateway to a world of space adventures and the uncle was writing about his own exploits as Johnny Future. The young woman takes over and sets out on her own adventures, always gorgeously illustrated. It's good to see Art Adams on a regular feature.
This issue finds Jonni a prisoner on a slave ship filled with female creatures who will be sold into prostitution on some outer space mining colony. Naturally, Jonni doesn't stand for that. Everything unfolds in a fun and clever way.
And no issue of TSTT would be complete without one of Steve Moore's YOUNG TOM STRONG adventures. With moody art by Alan Weiss, we find an 11 year old Tom (already the size of a 15 year old) on a vision quest to become a member of the Ozu tribe. He encounters various phantoms, including his parents and his mother's lover. Tom is in a struggle between being his biological father's science experiment (the ultimate human being) and the warmth and humanity of his Ozu family.
I'm not going to give this book a glib rating. There's no getting around that most of the TOM STRONG stories, both in TS and TSTT, are slight by today's standards. They are riffs and spoofs on old DC comic anthologies, and in that regard they work. But at times, I question how well they work on their own. I do not buy many regular comics, but I never miss an issue of any Tom Strong comic because of the spoofs. In TOM STRONG, there's a group of young fans called The Strongmen of America that are absolutely hilarious. If you're a comic geek and can laugh at yourself, you wouldn't want to miss their appearances (the best being a spoof of an old DC public service ad in which the Strongmen are lamenting the state of modern comics and are contemplating giving up comic collecting to do hard drugs when they meet *gasp!* Tom Strong, who shows them the ABC line).
So, the closest thing I will give to a rating is : CHECK IT OUT, BUT DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
Captain America #1
Written by John Ney Rieber
Drawn by John Cassaday
Published by Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Jon Quixote
I’ve been out of the comics buying loop for about 2 years now, but when I heard Captain America was going to be re-launched under the Marvel Knight’s banner I jumped on it like a Vegas hooker on a winning craps table.
I love the United States. I love it in my own wistful, objective Canadian way. I love the patriotism, THE PEOPLE VS. LARRY FLYNT, life sentences that mean life sentences, and the ability to buy beer at a 7-11.
I love the freedom the United States grants its citizens; the great respect for the individual. The ideological core of America’s greatness, that one man can be worth the world, is probably the greatest source of hope and strength that has ever existed in human history.
And that’s why I’ve always loved Captain America. He’s the purest of all super-heroes: the embodiment of the American ideal. Batman is motivated by revenge. Spider-Man by guilt. Superman by a need for acceptance. Captain America is motivated by love; for his country, and for the human spirit. He is that One Man who can silence evil with a stare, and move a nation with a word.
And Captain America has been the star of some of the greatest comic book stories ever. The Cosmic Cube. The Death of Sharon Carter. The Man with Steve Roger’s Face. Cap was the one who stared Thanos straight in the eye and never blinked. He chased down an omnipotent Dr. Doom and had him crying like a little girl.
But when was the last time you read a memorable Cap story? Poor Steve Rogers has been getting shafted by Marvel ever since the Heroes Reborn fiasco. From Mark Waid’s “where’s my shield” tale, to Dan Jurgen’s “D’uh, what’s physics?” attempts at storytelling, to…well, to tell you the truth, that’s about where I packed it in. (Ok, for the record, Waid wasn’t that bad of a Cap writer. He was just a forgettable one.)
And apparently I wasn’t the only one who stopped buying, because sales went down like that aforementioned hooker on…well, let’s just say I enjoyed my road trip. And, apparently, the powers that be came up with all sorts of ideas to rejuvenate Cap’s sales. A Black Captain America (‘cause that worked so well for Green Lantern). A young Captain America (‘cause that worked so well for Iron Man). A female Captain America (‘cause that worked so well for, um, Punisher 2099). But, in the end, they decided to just kill him off, and then resurrect him. Well, at least they’re trying something that has never been done before in the history of comics.
Shit.
But, y’know what? None of that matters now. Because Steve Rogers is back. And he’s now a Marvel Knight. That’s right, the same banner that turned Daredevil into the greatest superhero in the world for an 8 issue run that lasted a year (…so lazy) have got their grubby, grown-up, but still corn-holing free paws on Marvel’s Living Legend.
And the idea gave me a boner. Captain America – with real world respect. Cap – tackling issues less black and white than Nazism (which is bad kids, real bad!). Cap – with grit and substance and dialogue that does more than just advance the plot. A new Cap for a New Millennium!! And here we go, Captain America – Marvel Knights – Number One!
Be careful what you wish for.
Ok, it’s not that Captain America is such a grim read, it’s just…
Ok, it is. This is a grim fucking read. It’s solemn. It’s disturbing. And it’s occasionally in bad taste. It milks the potential explosive deaths of Midwestern children just to get Cap’s (and the reader’s) dander up.
The first half of this book is devoted to 9-11, with Steve at Ground Zero, helping as best he can. Now, I can understand the need to have Cap deal with 9-11, but I don’t know why this type of issue wasn’t released in December as a one-shot with proceeds going to victim’s services, but it wasn’t. It’s the note that Marvel decided to re-launch Cap with, 8 months after the fact. And that’s why I’m giving this book a negative review.
So the story starts with the most horrific act of terrorism on American soil, ever. And it’s done in a way that seems surprisingly emotionless, maybe because of the clichéd exchange between Steve and Fury at the wreckage, maybe because this comic doesn’t have the purity of Heroes or the Spider-Man homage. Or maybe it’s the racial profiling infomercial that my faith in humanity would like to think that we’re all above. But then the story arc starts. And it’s about a horrific act of terrorism. On American soil. And I’m picking up a theme here.
I don’t want to sound like a dandruff commercial, but you never get a second chance to make a first impression. And if this is the tone of the series for the run…it will be a short run. And who knows, maybe we’ll see a teenage female African-American Cap just yet.
Now, there are things to like about this issue. The art is beautiful, although achingly grim. The coloring is spectacular. And it is a comic book written for adults. But there’s no joy in reading this issue. No humor, no action, no intrigue. It’s just repetitive melancholy, and it lacks the purity needed to sustain that sort of depressing morality. It’s too real to be enjoyable, and too clichéd to be notable.
And, to tell you the truth, the whole thing made me nostalgic. I miss lectures on the evils of Nazism. I miss Cap teasing King Cobra about his Thor-phobia. I miss Porcupine, and Armadillo, and using judo on the Hulk.
Right now, I’ll even take a story about a missing shield.
MY RATING: The Four Color equivalent of a CNN retrospective. If you don’t read comics, but still proudly wear your Fuck Saddam t-shirt, then this is the comic for you.
The Ultimates #4
Written by Mark Millar
Drawn by Bryan Hitch
Reviewed by The Comedian
As it will come as no surprise to those of you who know me, I’ve been no fan of the Ultimate line. I loathed the idea of the Ultimate line when it was first incepted almost two years ago. I huffed and puffed in all my fanboy angst about what I considered to be another cheap attempt at reeling in new readers. Could you blame me? All we kept seeing were adds with a cheesy airbrushed, skinny, soul patched ‘o-so hip’ 20 something Wolverine running through Time Square scraping his claws against the ground. After 2099, Heroes Reborn and MC2 I figured this would just be another lame assed gimmick from the House of Bad Ideas (pre-Joe Q). Low and behold almost two years later Joe Q and the gang have shut my trap but good. Ultimate Spiderman is a fun ride that was more or less the catalyst to the new Spidey creative explosion. Sure the anticipation for the movie helped a bit too but it was Ultimate Spidey that set the benchmark for the new webhead renaissance in the Spiderman books. As far as Ultimate X-Men goes I still think it’s shite despite the great pencils of The Brothers Kubert. For me the X-men didn’t need fixing. But through all of this I couldn’t really fathom them stretching out an entire Universe with just these books and Ultimate Team Up. With all that said, when I first heard about the Ultimates and saw the sketches I loved the idea. Marvel was letting Mark Millar turn the Avengers into the self centered jerks he portrayed them as with “The Americans” in The Authority. It worked for me because it just seemed like such a blatant bastardization that I’d have no trouble separating it from the regular Marvel Avengers. Plus Bryan Hitch’s art was one of the main reasons The Authority flashed ever so brightly in the pan 3 years ago. So now four issues into the run I’m still hooked but with some reservations. A few little things that annoy me that seem to be coming back up and brewing to the surface in this issue. But first here’s the plot summary.
Sam Jackson Meets The Americans #4 begins with Tony Stark in outer space romancing yet another piece A list Hollywood arm candy while sipping scotch from a Capri Sun pouch. He’s really supposed to be on earth doing a press photo op with the rest of the team but then none of them other than Giant Man made it to the photo op either. Nick Fury and Bruce Banner travel to the Netherland’s to recruit Thor who in this universe is a cross between Rael, Ralph Nader and Tony Robbins. Poor old Captain America is indeed a man out of time who’s so stubborn to admit it that he keeps his apartment in the same neighborhood that he lived in the 40’s even though it’s now a slum. And the team sits around bored and mission-less having an asinine conversation about who should play them in the movie version of their story. All this standing around, waiting for something to happen while their whole program is under the microscopic scrutiny of the Government, and the media pushes poor under appreciated, whipping boy Bruce Banner to take his failed Super Soldier serum and Hulk-out again chiefly so that the Team has a villain to fight but also secretly because he’s tired of being pushed around. The last straw involving Betty whoring herself to ..gasp ..Freddie Prinze Jr. of all people.
So basically it was yet another issue of set up. Which for me wasn’t really a problem or an issue. What is bugging me and eating away at the quality of this book are little quirks that Millar thinks are clever but really to the reader are quite annoying like the endless amateurish Hollywood name dropping for one. I know what he’s trying to do but the satire is a little forced and it’s coming off more like Youngblood than Justice League or X-Force. Using all these real world people just makes it look like their trying too hard. For instance, I love the idea that Nick Fury is Sam Jackson. When I’m reading the books I hear Sam Jackson’s voice doing Fury’s dialogue. But beating us over the head with it by having Fury say that Sam Jackson would play him in the movie version of their story is trying too hard. As far as the other characterizations go, they’re really not the one dimensional jerks he could have made them which is good. Certain characters like Betty Ross have been pigeonholed into stereotypes but I don’t mind that either. If anything Millar’s turned the Betty / Hulk relationship on it’s ear by making her a shallow, career addicted, castrating bitch who’s contempt for Banner is what drives him to Hulk out as opposed the suffering, angelic nursemaid we’ve know all these years. And speaking of turning old characterizations on their ears I think it goes without saying, Giant Man rules! If you would have told me that fucking Giant Man would be the most interesting character in any Avenger’s relaunch I would have laughed in your face. But Millar’s pulled it off. Overall, The Ultimates is worth your time. Whenever you feel like all of Millar’s nods to Hollywood and cynical mean spiritedness are getting a little much you’ve just got to remember that this book isn’t aimed at us. It’s aimed at 13 year olds. The audience that the industry has lost to Battlebots, free porno sites and Playstation2. And out of all The Ultimate books I think Joe Q and the gang might just finally get them back with this one.
Title: Thor #49
Writer: Dan Jurgens
Penciler: Tom Raney
Publisher: Marvel
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
One of the oldest comic book traditions is the slugfest. The concept of an entire issue dedicated to two powerful enemies beating the snot out of each other has been around the world of comics as long as brightly colored spandex costumes and characters with first and last names beginning with the same letter. Usually these issues are filled with little plot and any characterization present comes in the form of a fist to the chops. These issues are usually fun, quick reads, but aren’t very important in the grand scheme of things. Thor #49 breaks the mold in that it’s a slugfest issue that counts.
To catch everyone up to speed, Thor is the Asgardian God of Thunder from Norse mythology. For decades now, Thor has been torn between serving under his father, Odin (who just happens to be Lord of Asgard), and answering the ever-tempting call of adventure on the mortal plane of Midgard (AKA Earth). Like any father, Odin wants the best for his son. He wants to prepare Thor for the day he must take over his father’s duties and rule the golden realm of the gods. Since the beginning, Odin has been teaching his son about the duties of leadership by bonding him to various mortals, hoping that he would learn values like respect, honor, and humility while wearing a veil of humanity. This plan has come back to bite Odin in the ass because Thor actually likes the mortal plane and doesn’t really view being banished as punishment. Earth is a hotbed of adventure with galactic alien attacks and scheming madmen around every corner. Sending Thor to Earth is like sending a child who is acting unruly at the dinner table to his room where all of his toys are.
Almost fifty issues into Thor’s latest series and I am finally excited about Jurgens’ take on the Thunder God. Jurgens has decided to do something that one normally doesn’t see often enough in comics. He decided to evolve the character and push him forward out of what had become the status quo for Thor stories by tackling one all important question: What would happen if, after all of these years of preparation, punishment and lesson learning, Thor had to step into the shoes of his father as ruler of Asgard? A few issues back, Odin kicked the bucket and it was up to Thor to step up to the plate. Basically, this is the story of how the boy who was a Thunder God became a man.
Since Odin’s death and the beautifully crafted ‘Nuff Said issue, Thor has evolved into a complex and interesting character. He is no longer bonded with the mortal paramedic, Jake Olsen. Jurgens has taken us through Thor’s denial of his father’s death, his decision to take on the responsibility as ruler of Asgard, and finally his acceptance of the role with confidence. But some things never change.
Thor still yearns for adventure and finds the politics of Asgard to be boring. A few issues back Jurgens crafted a wonderful scene detailing the difference between Thor and his father where Thor deals with a domestic land squabble as if he were bare knuckle brawling with an ogre. Last issue dealt with Thor’s impetuous desire to tackle an advancing attack of Frost Giants, using the all powerful Odinforce as if he were brutally swinging his mighty hammer, Mjolnir.
Meanwhile, back on Earth, Jake Olsen, has been given a new lease on life and is no longer Thor’s alter ego, but like Thor, he yearns for adventure and jumps at any chance to get involved in anything Thor related, which has lately included the adventures of Tarene, the horribly monikered Thor Girl. Using the Enchantress’ magical mirror, Jake Olsen steals a portion of Thor’s power to save Tarene’s life. In the middle of whuppin’ some Frost Giant buttocks, Thor feels depleted and journeys back to Earth to find out who is stealing his power.
Which brings us to Thor #49, featuring a painful and monumental slugfest between an amped up Thor and Desak, the God Killer. This is no spandex clad imbroglio. This is a no holds barred, balls to the wall, good old fashioned, head smashing, teeth gnashing rumble in the concrete jungle. These two barbarians are out for each others heads. The fight, rendered with Raney and Scott Hanna’s crisp art, is brutal and awe inspiring to look at. Thor has never looked better. The panel where Thor unleashes the full power of the Odinforce upon the God Killer is superbly rendered. I have to say this. Bearded Thor Rocks! Raney’s Thor Lord of Asgard design is an amazing update to the classic Thor look and I hope they stick with it for a while. I always had a problem with Thor’s costume in the past. I thought it was waaaay too super-hero-y. I guess it was always justified by Thor’s desire to fit in with the colorful costumes of his fellow Avengers, but I like this Thor the Barbarian/Walt Simonson era look a whole lot better.
What I like about this issue is that roles are cleverly reversed. Jake Olsen, the series’ human hero, is actually depicted as wrong in this issue, stealing the power of Thor when Thor needs it the most. And the person pointing this out to Olsen? The Enchantress, one of Thor’s oldest foes. Thor himself is viewed as highly flawed. The old saying, absolute power corrupts absolutely, comes into play as the prophesies of the destruction of Earth at the hands of Thor are starting to seem eminent.
This issue leads up to a triple sized 50th issue which promises to pack a wallop. Raney is doing some of his best art and Jurgens is finally tying up all of his loose threads that he has left dangling since the start of this series. This was a completely satisfying read for me. Fans of the Simonson run from the late eighties will love Thor’s new look and direction. Jurgens is taking the character into places that no writer has done before. Usually, when this happens, it is quickly followed up with a story setting everything back to the status quo. This would be a huge disservice to the character who has become interesting again after many years of stagnation. I hope this is a starting trend and Marvel has the balls to start evolving their characters instead of telling the same old stories over and over.
Let’s hope I get my shit together so I can actually post these in a timely fashion in the future. I’m certainly enjoying the output of this group of guys so far...
"Moriarty" out.
