Just got back from the 12:01am Screening in Austin at the Fabulous METROPOLITAN. Best National Chain managers in Austin. They organize and help keep the lines from getting out of hand. Let people in a bit at a time so that everyone could take their time getting to their seats. They made sure the sound would boom, the projector was bright and that we, the audience, were ready.
Quint and the lovely Auntie Meat had camped out holding our spot in line, I hated not being with them. But being on these crutches and having oral surgery really put a damper on my ‘line experience’ this time out. And I must say… I really miss doing it. It isn’t about the film, it is about the sense of community that builds around the theater. The feeling of family and unity when you walk in.
I showed up and got in line. Saw the folks in costume… A fellow from Chicago in Jedi robes was first in line and he was… moderately enthused about seeing the film…. Well, actually he was jazzed in the unable to stay still sort of way. Constantly pacing. Constantly looking around, the pressure of having stayed completely spoiler free on his brow. Looking at me, he sees answers, temptation… evil. Here, in the final hours, he faces his greatest danger… He comes over to show he has no fear. I saw his face, he was a word from bolting. "R2 is pink in this one!"
He runs.
The crowd was enthusiastic. Not ecstatic to be in line like the crowd of 1999. This isn’t the frantic long drought and the first water fountain in 16 years. This was a film some were fearing, some were hoping and all wanted to love.
For me… I was dying to see it. I wanted to avoid the news crews, this isn’t about me, the real story were the people that camped. Me, I’m just a fan that was lucky enough to have a friend that held my place. I didn’t deserve my position, I didn’t do the time. Injuries or not… My place was in line.
10:30 – we began marching into place. The line was excited… all a buzz. Getting closer.
10:45 – we enter into the actual screening room. The largest best screen in Austin. Just a wonderful place to see this type of movie.
I get my favorite seat. My best movie buddy at my side. Behind me a row of friends and Dad. People with light sabers and costumes litter the theater. Folks eager to see the film. Sporadic folks come up to thank me for the advance review I wrote, telling me that they weren’t gonna get in line early till they saw that. GULP, HOPE THEY LIKE THE MOVIE!
As the film was getting closer I was getting more and more excited. You see, I saw ATTACK OF THE CLONES before, but the print I had seen still needed MASSIVE POST-PRODUCTION work especially in the sound and sound effects editing and the music mixing stages. That stuff, simply wasn’t all done yet. Actually vast sequences hadn’t even a single sound effect, though some did. For example… those sonic mines that Jango shat out of the Slave 1? Well, zero sound there. End Jedi battle and Clone War… zero sound effects and score. The print I saw was seen on a tiny TV screen that my father had to run and secure from the house. Not my big television, but the tiny one. SIGH. So I saw it small, incomplete Fx, nearly at stage 2 sound wise and I needed to see it complete.
What would I notice different? Would I? After all it has been a few months now. How many major changes could there be?
Patch sitting next to was tired from a long day, had the beginnings of a headache, which she took Tylenol for. Quint was actually a bit nervous looking to be honest. He didn’t look entirely confident. I don’t know if that was just exhaustion or what, but he seemed a bit on the scurvy side. Father Geek was excited. Ever since March 16 it has been the two of us that have been able to talk about that experience. I haven’t wanted to spoil it for others.
The more that we talked through it, the more I loved it. Suffice to say, I’ve had a lot of time to digest my feelings about the film. Tonight was the final run-through.
The trailers before the film were completely unimportant. They were an aggravation, a tedious cacophony of meaningless babble. I’m sure they’ll all be great films, but I didn’t want to see trailers, I wanted to see ATTACK OF THE CLONES again, for the first time.
As the 20th Century Fox Fanfare played, cheers… Lucasfilm logo, cheers… ‘A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far Far Away’, cheers… The STAR WARS logo, cheers… as the crawl began… hushes and hushing… silence gathered across the theater as they were ready to listen to this evening’s chapter…There is unrest in the Galactic Senate
Several hundred solar systems under
the leadership of the rebel leader, Count
Dooku, have declared their intentions to
secede from the Republic.
This separatist movement has made it
difficult for the limited number of
Jedi Knights to maintain peace and
order in the galaxy.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of
Naboo, is returning to Coruscant
to vote on the critical issue
of creating an army to assist the
overwhelmed Jedi.
Several hundred solar systems under
the leadership of the rebel leader, Count
Dooku, have declared their intentions to
secede from the Republic.
This separatist movement has made it
difficult for the limited number of
Jedi Knights to maintain peace and
order in the galaxy.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of
Naboo, is returning to Coruscant
to vote on the critical issue
of creating an army to assist the
overwhelmed Jedi.
These three paragraphs set the film up. Count Dooku is leading a rebellion from the Republic. This has the Jedi spread out desperately trying to deal with the situation. Padme is returning to deal with the issue of creating a Republican army.
Now folks, there seems to be a lot of critics out there that couldn’t grasp or understand the plot of Episode 2. Apparently it was just too convoluted. Too dense. Too complicated to get. I’m going to try and explain very easily what is going on here.
First, we have an attempted assassination to set things in motion. Why? Senator Amidala was going to be the opposition leader against the creation of an Army for the Republic. Those that needed the Army of the Republic wanted her dead, she fears a dictatorship. OB1 and Anakin are assigned to protect her. In tracing a second assassination attempt back to an assassin, the assassin is killed leaving a mysterious flying backpack man taking off and a little dart. At this point, it becomes obvious that it is too dangerous to keep Amidala at Coruscant, but by sending a low-key Padawan Learner and not a high brow Jedi, she can keep a low profile and return safely to her planet where she will be protected in a safe environment. Meanwhile, OB1’s story is a mystery. Where is this dart from? He traces the dart to a system. Upon arrival he discovers a MILLION PLUS Clone Army trained and grown to fight for the Republic commissioned by a Jedi 10 years prior, who was allegedly killed before that. OB1 is asked to capture Jango Fett for questioning. He loses him and has to pursue him elsewhere. Meanwhile, we learn that the Dark Side is apparently clouding and interfering with the Jedi’s ability to use the Force. We don’t know How yet… YET.
Meanwhile, Anakin is in love with Padme, Padme is attracted to him. Why? He’s physically cute as a button. He loves her. Their situation is putting them in close independent proximity. They talk political philosophies, old times, dreams for the future. Young love. It doesn’t make sense. It isn’t supposed to. It simply is. Why is she not being hunted by bountyhunters now? Because she is effectively out of the way. The only reason the attempts were made was to secure the Trade Federation’s cooperation. And two, get a weaker minded individual into her voting place so that the Army of the Republic bill could come to pass. Anakin, like his son Luke, is compelled by a vision/dream of a loved one’s suffering. He rushes to aide his mother. Why hadn’t he done this before? Probably because he wanted to return to his mother as a full fledged Jedi, like she dreamed for him. Now I know he goes on a killing spree here folks, but the death of his mother isn’t the turning point for his character. Anakin hasn’t even been invited over yet. He is exploring it through his own lack of control. He still wants to be good. As much as he complains about OB1, he loves him. As much as he complains about the rules of the Jedi, it is his dream to become one. He just has some character flaws. Why did Yoda send him to guard Padme? Because she knew him, and he probably figured that it was time to trust Anakin. Let him get out a bit from under OB1’s wing. Push him out of the nest hoping that the experience would do him good.
Ok, meanwhile OB1 tracks Jango to a bug people planet, where he learns about a robot army being created and a plot to militarily overthrow the Republic and the Jedi. He alerts Anakin and Padme, who in turn alert Yoda and the Jedi Council. This situation serves as the impetus to give Palpatine WAR POWERS ACT, making him absolute ruler, till he decides he doesn’t need to be anymore. Riiiight. Jar Jar is not responsible solely for this. In actuality, it was Yoda and Mace Windu and Ki Adi Mundi that most aggressively need the help of this army to defeat this new threat.
This puts everything in stage for a big battle.
What is the goal of the battle? Well if you want to be a dictator, you pit two sides that you are allies with fight, with your enemy in the middle. The goal of this whole conflict was multi-fold.
1) Put Palpatine in position to assume War Powers, thus effectively making him a dictator.
2) Put the clone army at Palpatine’s fingertips.
3) Killing as many Jedi as possible in the crossfire, thus crippling their abilities to adequately uphold the law of the Republic.
4) Test the strength and weaken the Jedi. Watch how they respond and look for weaknesses.
By the time you reach the end of this film there should be many questions and things to ponder.
Who really put in the order for the Clone Army?
If in regards to the Sith there is always a Master and an Apprentice – is it possible that Sidious has multiple Apprentices? That he learned from the Sith’s last defeat?
What will be the final blow that pushes Anakin all the way from the light to darkness?
What happens that breaks Yoda’s nerve and sends him into hiding on a slimy mudball of a planet? His ultimate realization that the Jedi have essentially handed control of the Republic to the Sith, well that and whatever else happens crushes his confidence. The Yoda of Empire and the Yoda of Attack of the Clones are two very different characters. For this to work, something must complete the transformation.
How are the children (Luke and Leia) taken from Padme? Voluntarily? Dies during childbirth? What?
Are Palpatine and Sidious really the same person, or has Sidious grown a clone of himself with independence inhibitors allowing him to control a version of himself that he can step into now that he has assumed power?
Is the long assumed edge of a volcano fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan going to be a reality? Or does Lucas have another plan for how to complete his transformation?
What happens to Dooku?
What is Bail Organa’s part in all of this? His exhibition of frustration in that last shot on that balcony over-seeing the Clone army with Palpatine was quite indicative of his obvious dislike for the current situation.
How is Anakin and Padme split apart?
Then the big question… What do we not even have a clue about, that will affect things in the next chapter?
Now those are the questions on my mind at the end of this film.
DIGITAL FILMMAKING
The film print that I saw last night/this morning and throughout the weekend was gorgeous. There were a couple of key moments throughout the film where the background elements became very pixely. But these were few and far between. The worst of these was in Padme’s apartment during the conversation between Anakin and Kenobi. On Ewan’s reverse shot, the background was terribly blotchy.
I had talked with Robert Rodriguez about the ‘alleged problems’ with the High Def 24fp Sony Camera and Lucas’ STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and he told me that George had a couple of problems in the making of his film only because they were prototype cameras, and that the first HD lenses weren't as good as they are right now. Also, in scenes like the one above that I described are moments where George may have blown up an image over 250 times to get the shot he wanted. Robert said that he didn't have these problems on ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO or SPY KIDS 2 because now there are newer lenses, plus he didn't blow up a shot more than 250% (which is still a lot.) To give you an idea, regular 35mm film, when you begin blowing it up, by the time you get to 50 to 75% it looks worse than those moments in ATTACK OF THE CLONES when it was blown up over 250%. Overmanipulation of any image, film or HD, will cause degradation.
Overall, this film is gorgeous. The colors pop, the look of the movie is like nothing I’ve really seen before. There are moments I found as beautiful as any I’ve seen in Science Fiction, and some that surpassed anything I’d seen before.
THE ROMANCE:
Much has been spoken about the Romance in ATTACK OF THE CLONES. For me it works. Sure it is a cliché, but cliché often happens to be a part of love. Everytime you buy the woman you love a rose, you are falling prey to cliché. When you buy a diamond ring for the wedding ring, you are experiencing cliché. Celebrating your anniversary is cliché. Putting on music, turning off the lights and lighting a candle… HUGE CLICHÉ.
As far as cliché goes, the romance between Anakin and Padme works very well for me. I have no doubt looking at Anakin that he is obsessively in love with Padme. I find it very easy to see why he would be. It is Natalie Portman. She has a way of disarming one. Her smile, those eyes… um, the rest of her. She’s a strong independent young woman who looks absolutely fantastic for her late twenties. What is she here… 26 – 28. Cuz wasn’t she supposed to be like 16-17 in the last one? Personally, I buy that.
The harder part of this romance is buying why Padme would fall for Anakin. I think the easiest excuse is just looking at him. He’s handsome as hell. Though that isn’t everything. Patch, who was sitting next to me was being creeped out by Anakin. His little smile when he’s told not to look at her that way. The way his eyes linger. These are all things that are just… creepy. It wasn’t till on Naboo, when they were totally alone, when there was no more need to look STRONG by others, that Anakin let a lot of his pompousness go. Suddenly you can see that there is a good kid in there. Someone that has been lonely, someone wanting desperately to be loved. He laughs at her jokes, no matter how stupid. He flirts with her, giggling about teasing a Senator. The pretend injury suffered from the grazing Naboo cow creature, the roll through the field, shared laughter. The memory of a single kiss. A kiss they both took. His desire to protect her. The shared memory of what has come before. She feels a certain amount of responsibility for Anakin. She was there, in his life, when he was taken from his mother and entered into a different life. These are the moments about which their love is based.
Padme is a public figure. Lonely and watched. Protected from most interactions. Her life threatened and endangered from her defeat of the Trade Federation years prior. She had one romantic interlude in her life that went wrong. Two people, two different standings in life. She longs for love, but is a sensible woman. Someone of position. There is no time for love in her life. She is bound by the responsibility of protecting her people and the Republic. That is what she has dedicated her life to, yet here is this young man. Powerful, in love with her, able to protect her from harm, attractive, flawed needing to be held and loved back. She fights it because she knows her involvement with him could jeopardize his career as a Jedi. But when the end is certain. When the have that moment before the flame of life seems moments from extinguishing… She professes her love. That moment can never be taken back. Suddenly the regret of opportunities not taken. The regret of not having love in her life, makes her crave it more than anything. When one’s life flashes before one’s eyes upon the precipice of death, she found what was missing in her life standing beside her. That’s why she loves him.
Where is all of that? Much of it is subtext, empathy and John Williams’ score. Glances in her eyes, frustration at being unable to speak. Watching Anakin suffer through the loss of his mother, tortured by visions of her mistreatment. Shared peril. All of this adds up to that kiss.
Love is a mostly unspoken thing for some found somewhere between a set of eyes staring back into one another. A pregnant pause that draws two closer to kiss.
JAR JAR BINKS:
I believe I now understand exactly what Jar Jar Binks was meant to be in the STAR WARS saga. Jar Jar Binks is essentially Lyndon Baines Johnson. When LBJ lobbied the Senate to give him special military powers to raise forces and deal with the problem in Vietnam, he had no idea how badly that was going to go. He didn’t see it through. He was seen as a goofy character with a funny accent and giant ears… No substitute for the great leader that he was asked to replace due to an assassination, which many claimed was because of his position on the War in Vietnam. (At least Oliver Stone thinks so.) Jar Jar listened to others in that big room and in wanting to do the right thing, but not having the patience or time to fully think through his actions, he ultimately finds himself a pawn in creating one of the great tragedies. Much like LBJ, his similarly big eared funny accented political leader from Texas. No wonder mesa always loved him.
RISE OF THE EMPEROR:
This is my primary love of the film. Sure the fights are cool, the effects are cool, Yoda is cool, Jango Fett is cool, Obi Wan Kenobi is cool, I like the romance, I dig the pieces and little moments throughout the film, but what I love more than anything is how George Lucas is handling the Emperor’s character.
This chapter of the STAR WARS saga is essentially the James Bond film to end all James Bond films. James Bond is divided into two characters. Obi Wan and Anakin. M is Yoda, who sends Obi Wan to handle the mystery of the dart and Anakin to safeguard the babe. Now contrary to 90% of the James Bond movies, M (aka Yoda) doesn’t tell Bond, "The guy you’ll be investigating is _____, you’ll find him at ________, your job is to ________ him and take control of _________." Hell, Yoda doesn’t even know that there is A) The Evil Master Plan, B) Giant Armies Massing, C) That getting the Senator off Coruscant is playing directly into the Evil guy’s hands.
I love that Scaramanga (aka Dooku) isn’t revealed all along. That he isn’t playing cat and mouse with Bond (aka Obi Wan) throughout the whole film. Instead Obi Wan’s mission is to catch OddJob/Jaws/Donald ‘Red’ Grant (aka Jango Fett) and bring him in for questioning. He doesn’t even know who this guy works for. Hasn’t a clue that by following him he’ll find himself at the big SPECTRE meeting with the big round table listening to how they are going to overthrow M and all his double O agents. Meanwhile the other Bond (aka Anakin) is all emotion. He’s the Bond trying to lay his lady down. Protect her from on top. Problem is, she is resistant to his charms. She finds Bond (aka Anakin) too cocky and sure of himself to start with, and only when Bond drops his pretension and begins communicating to her and exposing himself emotionally, does she begin to let him in. Then, of course when all the Bond information (Padme Safe/Bad Guys here) is sent to M, he sends all the agents, while M goes off to get the entirety of the British Armed Forces to lay waste to the enemy.
There is no victory though because it turns out that the Prime Minister is actually Blofeld disguised to look like Tony Blair, the man that M allegedly ultimately reports to.
What’s the point? The point is for this democracy to be turned into a dictatorship, those that protect the sanctity of the government and the ideals that keep it free… MUST BE ELIMINATED. That is the Jedi. If the Emperor reveals himself, his power ebbs. Hidden, behind the scenes, you control and push both sides of the chess match. If you control both sides long enough, you win. This is brilliant TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE STRATEGY!
The lessons being taught here are everybit as important and relevant today… In the world we are currently in.
One can not empower a government or an individual to have limited controls over the freedoms we cherish, unlimited powers over our military and absolute power over a domestic police force to go hunting for traitors in our midst. No matter how nice the leader at the time may be, they can be taken out. They can be destroyed and the one that steps in could be the nightmare.
Is it over complicated?
Not for me. I can see it pretty clearly. This is fucking STAR WARS, it isn’t complicated. Ingmar Bergman and Luis Bunuel are complicated. They require deep thought, but this is pretty darn easy to follow stuff. And welcome distraction from the "Good guys on this side of the screen. Bad guys on that side of the screen. Now. GO!" that you see in James Bond films, Ahnuldt movies and the other Star Wars films.
Why does it need to be more than just the average A-B-C?
Because YODA isn’t supposed to go… "Hmmm, The Evil Palpatine it is. Destroy I must!" and just end it there.
This is the story of how centuries of peace fell apart. How a Government so sure of itself. So powerful. So Self-righteous and full of faux security could just hand the keys of the kingdom to EVIL INCARNATE.
Anakin… Vader… That’s a small piece to all of this. Stop being distracted by him, he isn’t the story. THE STORY IS THE FALL OF THE REPUBLIC, THE RISE OF THE EMPIRE and THE TRIUMPH OF THE REBELLION. These other stories are details that play a part in serving those three MAJOR plot constructs.
As for the much maligned dialogue, this part of the story is very different from the pre-existing Star Wars series. There is a lot going on, but I enjoyed particularly the banter between Obi Wan and Anakin.
Like this exchange:
OBI-WAN
If you'd spend as much time
working on your saber skills as
you do on your wit, young Padawan,
you would rival Master Yoda as a
swordsman.
ANAKIN
I thought I already did.
OBI-WAN
Only in your mind, my very young
apprentice. Or here where OB1 exhibits his utter cool and Anakin his lack of cool…ANAKIN
I think he's a she...
OBI-WAN
Then be extra careful...
(nods to a room)
Check it out.
OBI-WAN goes away.
ANAKIN
Where are you going, Master?
OBI-WAN
To get a drink. I love how so much is revealed about Anakin in this tiny bit…
ANAKIN
Don't get me wrong... Obi-Wan is
a great mentor. As wise as Master
Yoda and as powerful as Master
Windu. I am truly thankful to be
his apprentice. Only... although
I'm a Padawan learner, in some
ways... a lot of ways... I'm ahead
of him. Or this wonderful exchange between Padme and Anakin on their way to Naboo which I feel really details a lot of the regrets of following the path of the Jedi as well as serving as a foreplay of back and forth between Anakin and Padme in their discussions about the option of love:
PADMÉ
It must be difficult having sworn
your life to the Jedi... not being
able to visit the places you
like... or do the things you
like...
ANAKIN
Or be with the people I love.
PADMÉ
Are you allowed to love? I
thought that was forbidden for a
Jedi.
ANAKIN
Attachment is forbidden.
Possession is forbidden.
Compassion, which I would define
as unconditional love, is central
to a Jedi's life, so you might say
we're encouraged to love.
PADMÉ
You have changed so much
ANAKIN
You haven't changed a bit. You're
exactly the way I remember you in
my dreams. Of course that is such a serious line. Here you can see Anakin creating his own definitions, allowing himself to love her, at the same time he is professing his love for her. Letting her know about the feelings he has for her and showing her how he’s not that little boy anymore, but someone that can love her. The rest of their dialogue is the clumsy back and forth dialogue of two people that have never really had love before. Anakin has never had it, Padme back before she was Queen. This isn’t mature love. This isn’t perfect love. This is unconditional love by inexperienced lovers forbidden to have what they have. Here’s their scene before going into the coliseum:
ANAKIN
Don't be afraid.
PADMÉ
I'm not afraid to die. I've been
dying a little bit each day since
you came back into my life.
ANAKIN
What are you talking about?
PADMÉ
I love you.
ANAKIN
You love me?! I thought we
decided not to fall in love. That
we would be forced to live a lie.
That it would destroy our lives...
PADMÉ
I think our lives are about to be
destroyed anyway. My love for you
is a puzzle, Annie, for which I
have no answers. I can't control
it... and now I don't care. I
truly, deeply love you, and before
we die I want you to know. Now as a declaration of love between two people on the edge of death, I buy it. These are not Woody Allen and Diane Keaton… They are not mature people having loved and failed at it and tried again and again and again. Their hearts have never been broken. They haven’t been to whorehouses or strip clubs. These are two virgins pussyfooting about a love they’ve never experienced. You can’t judge it by what you would say, unless you happen to be a pussyfooting virgin or really and honestly can remember what the pussyfooting virgin in you once said and sounded like.
Roger Ebert said the most unsexy thing in the world is a declaration of love. WELCOME TO YOUNG LOVE, where the only thing a pair of unloved ears want to hear is that someone loves them and that they love back. And it always ends with a kiss. Lucas spares us the 2 minute copulation moment as Anakin releases too quickly, but frankly… that belongs offscreen.
As for humor, my favorite funny line came from Yoda:
YODA
Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How
embarrassing I happen to have enjoyed C3P0’s funny comments. Did it lighten the moment? Yeah, but I also seem to remember in Empire Strikes Back while being chased through an Asteroid field by Tie Fighters and Star Destroyers, that wonderful gay robot spouting odds, and Han belting back one liners, all when they should just be silent and be navigating like hell. Or at the end of that film, where Threepio is riding R2’s ass about fixing him not the Falcon and being way way waaaay over the top. Frankly, you either like Threepio or not, I love ol Goldenrod.
Now every STAR WARS film has to have a line or two that I love. Frankly the "This party is over," line made me smile. I love the throw down line to Yoda from Dooku… In fact just about anything Christopher Lee said makes me happy. He is just that cool. But far above the rest, my favorite line… The one I’ll quote for the remainder of my years, months, days, hours or minutes that God or my cholesterol level lets me have on this planet is:
JANGO FETT
I'm just a simple man, trying to
make my way in the universe Folks… I don’t know about you. Maybe you didn’t like this film. Personally, I can’t for a second understand that. This is the most intelligently plotted of the Star Wars films. The most viscerally exciting and thrilling of the Star Wars films. And frankly the most entertaining of the Star Wars films for me.
Not once is there a sequence that even vaguely recalls the horror and embarrassing stupidity of the song numbers in Return of the Jedi. Or the Ewoks in general. Jar Jar Binks is very limited and effective to me in this film.
Where does this film stand for me? Without a doubt above Jedi and Phantom. Somewhere in the top three for now. I’ve always fluctuated STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK… They’ve always sort of been back and forth depending upon my mood. Is this a lock for third? I’ll tell you after 10 more viewings. Right now, I’m excited because this, for me, is a STAR WARS movie. Saw with a great fun audience that overall seemed to really love it. Isn’t that what it is all ultimately about?
I mean, what is STAR WARS?
For me, STAR WARS is not just a movie, but a place to be transported. It is a fairy tale of basic human clichés and mythologies thrust against the backdrop of laser swords and space chariots. It’s a place where, "YAHOOOOO KID, NOW LET’S BLOW THIS PLACE AND GO HOME!" in the midst of a battle coming straight out of light speed sounds like the greatest fucking piece of dialogue since, "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
STAR WARS is magic, a magic of innocence and wonderment. And I love that the universe I grew up in as a kid is getting bigger. Adding planets like Geonosis and Kamino was great. Discovering why Boba Fett hates Jedi… wonderful. Just hearing the sound of that wonderful sonic mine… drop your dick cool. Way to go Ben! For me, watching Anakin and Padme’s romance, knowing that it is going to end badly, knowing that I have Han and Leia to look forward to when I end up watching all 6 of these back to back. I LOVE IT. I’m so glad their romance isn’t a mirror of that one. That it will be the story of woe theirs is the story of joy. Hearts crushed and mended in the same epic series.
I want that life. I want chairs that descend from the ceiling as those cool Kamino folk talk to me about my Clone army. I love that we get to see the street life of Coruscant. I love that after two months of having seen the film, after countless fucking interviews and chats and phone calls from long lost friends… that after all of that on a Thursday evening I still have somewhere close to 5500 words to say about the latest installment of the STAR WARS series and I could go on and on and on. That I can talk this stuff all night long and into the morning and the day after that.
I love that there is a new STAR WARS movie playing minutes from my house that literally makes me lose my shit with happiness. I love that in my chatrooms I can argue back and forth and cheer the merits and see elation from so many that they loved this chapter. And sure there are those out there that were disappointed or hated this film, but ya know what. It must suck to be you, because I saw STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and I can’t wait to see it again.
If you'd spend as much time
working on your saber skills as
you do on your wit, young Padawan,
you would rival Master Yoda as a
swordsman.
ANAKIN
I thought I already did.
OBI-WAN
Only in your mind, my very young
apprentice.
ANAKIN
I think he's a she...
OBI-WAN
Then be extra careful...
(nods to a room)
Check it out.
OBI-WAN goes away.
ANAKIN
Where are you going, Master?
OBI-WAN
To get a drink. I love how so much is revealed about Anakin in this tiny bit…
ANAKIN
Don't get me wrong... Obi-Wan is
a great mentor. As wise as Master
Yoda and as powerful as Master
Windu. I am truly thankful to be
his apprentice. Only... although
I'm a Padawan learner, in some
ways... a lot of ways... I'm ahead
of him. Or this wonderful exchange between Padme and Anakin on their way to Naboo which I feel really details a lot of the regrets of following the path of the Jedi as well as serving as a foreplay of back and forth between Anakin and Padme in their discussions about the option of love:
PADMÉ
It must be difficult having sworn
your life to the Jedi... not being
able to visit the places you
like... or do the things you
like...
ANAKIN
Or be with the people I love.
PADMÉ
Are you allowed to love? I
thought that was forbidden for a
Jedi.
ANAKIN
Attachment is forbidden.
Possession is forbidden.
Compassion, which I would define
as unconditional love, is central
to a Jedi's life, so you might say
we're encouraged to love.
PADMÉ
You have changed so much
ANAKIN
You haven't changed a bit. You're
exactly the way I remember you in
my dreams. Of course that is such a serious line. Here you can see Anakin creating his own definitions, allowing himself to love her, at the same time he is professing his love for her. Letting her know about the feelings he has for her and showing her how he’s not that little boy anymore, but someone that can love her. The rest of their dialogue is the clumsy back and forth dialogue of two people that have never really had love before. Anakin has never had it, Padme back before she was Queen. This isn’t mature love. This isn’t perfect love. This is unconditional love by inexperienced lovers forbidden to have what they have. Here’s their scene before going into the coliseum:
ANAKIN
Don't be afraid.
PADMÉ
I'm not afraid to die. I've been
dying a little bit each day since
you came back into my life.
ANAKIN
What are you talking about?
PADMÉ
I love you.
ANAKIN
You love me?! I thought we
decided not to fall in love. That
we would be forced to live a lie.
That it would destroy our lives...
PADMÉ
I think our lives are about to be
destroyed anyway. My love for you
is a puzzle, Annie, for which I
have no answers. I can't control
it... and now I don't care. I
truly, deeply love you, and before
we die I want you to know. Now as a declaration of love between two people on the edge of death, I buy it. These are not Woody Allen and Diane Keaton… They are not mature people having loved and failed at it and tried again and again and again. Their hearts have never been broken. They haven’t been to whorehouses or strip clubs. These are two virgins pussyfooting about a love they’ve never experienced. You can’t judge it by what you would say, unless you happen to be a pussyfooting virgin or really and honestly can remember what the pussyfooting virgin in you once said and sounded like.
Roger Ebert said the most unsexy thing in the world is a declaration of love. WELCOME TO YOUNG LOVE, where the only thing a pair of unloved ears want to hear is that someone loves them and that they love back. And it always ends with a kiss. Lucas spares us the 2 minute copulation moment as Anakin releases too quickly, but frankly… that belongs offscreen.
As for humor, my favorite funny line came from Yoda:
YODA
Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How
embarrassing I happen to have enjoyed C3P0’s funny comments. Did it lighten the moment? Yeah, but I also seem to remember in Empire Strikes Back while being chased through an Asteroid field by Tie Fighters and Star Destroyers, that wonderful gay robot spouting odds, and Han belting back one liners, all when they should just be silent and be navigating like hell. Or at the end of that film, where Threepio is riding R2’s ass about fixing him not the Falcon and being way way waaaay over the top. Frankly, you either like Threepio or not, I love ol Goldenrod.
Now every STAR WARS film has to have a line or two that I love. Frankly the "This party is over," line made me smile. I love the throw down line to Yoda from Dooku… In fact just about anything Christopher Lee said makes me happy. He is just that cool. But far above the rest, my favorite line… The one I’ll quote for the remainder of my years, months, days, hours or minutes that God or my cholesterol level lets me have on this planet is:
JANGO FETT
I'm just a simple man, trying to
make my way in the universe Folks… I don’t know about you. Maybe you didn’t like this film. Personally, I can’t for a second understand that. This is the most intelligently plotted of the Star Wars films. The most viscerally exciting and thrilling of the Star Wars films. And frankly the most entertaining of the Star Wars films for me.
Not once is there a sequence that even vaguely recalls the horror and embarrassing stupidity of the song numbers in Return of the Jedi. Or the Ewoks in general. Jar Jar Binks is very limited and effective to me in this film.
Where does this film stand for me? Without a doubt above Jedi and Phantom. Somewhere in the top three for now. I’ve always fluctuated STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK… They’ve always sort of been back and forth depending upon my mood. Is this a lock for third? I’ll tell you after 10 more viewings. Right now, I’m excited because this, for me, is a STAR WARS movie. Saw with a great fun audience that overall seemed to really love it. Isn’t that what it is all ultimately about?
I mean, what is STAR WARS?
For me, STAR WARS is not just a movie, but a place to be transported. It is a fairy tale of basic human clichés and mythologies thrust against the backdrop of laser swords and space chariots. It’s a place where, "YAHOOOOO KID, NOW LET’S BLOW THIS PLACE AND GO HOME!" in the midst of a battle coming straight out of light speed sounds like the greatest fucking piece of dialogue since, "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
STAR WARS is magic, a magic of innocence and wonderment. And I love that the universe I grew up in as a kid is getting bigger. Adding planets like Geonosis and Kamino was great. Discovering why Boba Fett hates Jedi… wonderful. Just hearing the sound of that wonderful sonic mine… drop your dick cool. Way to go Ben! For me, watching Anakin and Padme’s romance, knowing that it is going to end badly, knowing that I have Han and Leia to look forward to when I end up watching all 6 of these back to back. I LOVE IT. I’m so glad their romance isn’t a mirror of that one. That it will be the story of woe theirs is the story of joy. Hearts crushed and mended in the same epic series.
I want that life. I want chairs that descend from the ceiling as those cool Kamino folk talk to me about my Clone army. I love that we get to see the street life of Coruscant. I love that after two months of having seen the film, after countless fucking interviews and chats and phone calls from long lost friends… that after all of that on a Thursday evening I still have somewhere close to 5500 words to say about the latest installment of the STAR WARS series and I could go on and on and on. That I can talk this stuff all night long and into the morning and the day after that.
I love that there is a new STAR WARS movie playing minutes from my house that literally makes me lose my shit with happiness. I love that in my chatrooms I can argue back and forth and cheer the merits and see elation from so many that they loved this chapter. And sure there are those out there that were disappointed or hated this film, but ya know what. It must suck to be you, because I saw STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and I can’t wait to see it again.
I think he's a she...
OBI-WAN
Then be extra careful...
(nods to a room)
Check it out.
I love how so much is revealed about Anakin in this tiny bit…
ANAKIN
Don't get me wrong... Obi-Wan is
a great mentor. As wise as Master
Yoda and as powerful as Master
Windu. I am truly thankful to be
his apprentice. Only... although
I'm a Padawan learner, in some
ways... a lot of ways... I'm ahead
of him. Or this wonderful exchange between Padme and Anakin on their way to Naboo which I feel really details a lot of the regrets of following the path of the Jedi as well as serving as a foreplay of back and forth between Anakin and Padme in their discussions about the option of love:
PADMÉ
It must be difficult having sworn
your life to the Jedi... not being
able to visit the places you
like... or do the things you
like...
ANAKIN
Or be with the people I love.
PADMÉ
Are you allowed to love? I
thought that was forbidden for a
Jedi.
ANAKIN
Attachment is forbidden.
Possession is forbidden.
Compassion, which I would define
as unconditional love, is central
to a Jedi's life, so you might say
we're encouraged to love.
PADMÉ
You have changed so much
ANAKIN
You haven't changed a bit. You're
exactly the way I remember you in
my dreams. Of course that is such a serious line. Here you can see Anakin creating his own definitions, allowing himself to love her, at the same time he is professing his love for her. Letting her know about the feelings he has for her and showing her how he’s not that little boy anymore, but someone that can love her. The rest of their dialogue is the clumsy back and forth dialogue of two people that have never really had love before. Anakin has never had it, Padme back before she was Queen. This isn’t mature love. This isn’t perfect love. This is unconditional love by inexperienced lovers forbidden to have what they have. Here’s their scene before going into the coliseum:
ANAKIN
Don't be afraid.
PADMÉ
I'm not afraid to die. I've been
dying a little bit each day since
you came back into my life.
ANAKIN
What are you talking about?
PADMÉ
I love you.
ANAKIN
You love me?! I thought we
decided not to fall in love. That
we would be forced to live a lie.
That it would destroy our lives...
PADMÉ
I think our lives are about to be
destroyed anyway. My love for you
is a puzzle, Annie, for which I
have no answers. I can't control
it... and now I don't care. I
truly, deeply love you, and before
we die I want you to know. Now as a declaration of love between two people on the edge of death, I buy it. These are not Woody Allen and Diane Keaton… They are not mature people having loved and failed at it and tried again and again and again. Their hearts have never been broken. They haven’t been to whorehouses or strip clubs. These are two virgins pussyfooting about a love they’ve never experienced. You can’t judge it by what you would say, unless you happen to be a pussyfooting virgin or really and honestly can remember what the pussyfooting virgin in you once said and sounded like.
Roger Ebert said the most unsexy thing in the world is a declaration of love. WELCOME TO YOUNG LOVE, where the only thing a pair of unloved ears want to hear is that someone loves them and that they love back. And it always ends with a kiss. Lucas spares us the 2 minute copulation moment as Anakin releases too quickly, but frankly… that belongs offscreen.
As for humor, my favorite funny line came from Yoda:
YODA
Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How
embarrassing I happen to have enjoyed C3P0’s funny comments. Did it lighten the moment? Yeah, but I also seem to remember in Empire Strikes Back while being chased through an Asteroid field by Tie Fighters and Star Destroyers, that wonderful gay robot spouting odds, and Han belting back one liners, all when they should just be silent and be navigating like hell. Or at the end of that film, where Threepio is riding R2’s ass about fixing him not the Falcon and being way way waaaay over the top. Frankly, you either like Threepio or not, I love ol Goldenrod.
Now every STAR WARS film has to have a line or two that I love. Frankly the "This party is over," line made me smile. I love the throw down line to Yoda from Dooku… In fact just about anything Christopher Lee said makes me happy. He is just that cool. But far above the rest, my favorite line… The one I’ll quote for the remainder of my years, months, days, hours or minutes that God or my cholesterol level lets me have on this planet is:
JANGO FETT
I'm just a simple man, trying to
make my way in the universe Folks… I don’t know about you. Maybe you didn’t like this film. Personally, I can’t for a second understand that. This is the most intelligently plotted of the Star Wars films. The most viscerally exciting and thrilling of the Star Wars films. And frankly the most entertaining of the Star Wars films for me.
Not once is there a sequence that even vaguely recalls the horror and embarrassing stupidity of the song numbers in Return of the Jedi. Or the Ewoks in general. Jar Jar Binks is very limited and effective to me in this film.
Where does this film stand for me? Without a doubt above Jedi and Phantom. Somewhere in the top three for now. I’ve always fluctuated STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK… They’ve always sort of been back and forth depending upon my mood. Is this a lock for third? I’ll tell you after 10 more viewings. Right now, I’m excited because this, for me, is a STAR WARS movie. Saw with a great fun audience that overall seemed to really love it. Isn’t that what it is all ultimately about?
I mean, what is STAR WARS?
For me, STAR WARS is not just a movie, but a place to be transported. It is a fairy tale of basic human clichés and mythologies thrust against the backdrop of laser swords and space chariots. It’s a place where, "YAHOOOOO KID, NOW LET’S BLOW THIS PLACE AND GO HOME!" in the midst of a battle coming straight out of light speed sounds like the greatest fucking piece of dialogue since, "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
STAR WARS is magic, a magic of innocence and wonderment. And I love that the universe I grew up in as a kid is getting bigger. Adding planets like Geonosis and Kamino was great. Discovering why Boba Fett hates Jedi… wonderful. Just hearing the sound of that wonderful sonic mine… drop your dick cool. Way to go Ben! For me, watching Anakin and Padme’s romance, knowing that it is going to end badly, knowing that I have Han and Leia to look forward to when I end up watching all 6 of these back to back. I LOVE IT. I’m so glad their romance isn’t a mirror of that one. That it will be the story of woe theirs is the story of joy. Hearts crushed and mended in the same epic series.
I want that life. I want chairs that descend from the ceiling as those cool Kamino folk talk to me about my Clone army. I love that we get to see the street life of Coruscant. I love that after two months of having seen the film, after countless fucking interviews and chats and phone calls from long lost friends… that after all of that on a Thursday evening I still have somewhere close to 5500 words to say about the latest installment of the STAR WARS series and I could go on and on and on. That I can talk this stuff all night long and into the morning and the day after that.
I love that there is a new STAR WARS movie playing minutes from my house that literally makes me lose my shit with happiness. I love that in my chatrooms I can argue back and forth and cheer the merits and see elation from so many that they loved this chapter. And sure there are those out there that were disappointed or hated this film, but ya know what. It must suck to be you, because I saw STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and I can’t wait to see it again.
Don't get me wrong... Obi-Wan is
a great mentor. As wise as Master
Yoda and as powerful as Master
Windu. I am truly thankful to be
his apprentice. Only... although
I'm a Padawan learner, in some
ways... a lot of ways... I'm ahead
of him.
Or this wonderful exchange between Padme and Anakin on their way to Naboo which I feel really details a lot of the regrets of following the path of the Jedi as well as serving as a foreplay of back and forth between Anakin and Padme in their discussions about the option of love:
PADMÉ
It must be difficult having sworn
your life to the Jedi... not being
able to visit the places you
like... or do the things you
like...
ANAKIN
Or be with the people I love.
PADMÉ
Are you allowed to love? I
thought that was forbidden for a
Jedi.
ANAKIN
Attachment is forbidden.
Possession is forbidden.
Compassion, which I would define
as unconditional love, is central
to a Jedi's life, so you might say
we're encouraged to love.
PADMÉ
You have changed so much
ANAKIN
You haven't changed a bit. You're
exactly the way I remember you in
my dreams. Of course that is such a serious line. Here you can see Anakin creating his own definitions, allowing himself to love her, at the same time he is professing his love for her. Letting her know about the feelings he has for her and showing her how he’s not that little boy anymore, but someone that can love her. The rest of their dialogue is the clumsy back and forth dialogue of two people that have never really had love before. Anakin has never had it, Padme back before she was Queen. This isn’t mature love. This isn’t perfect love. This is unconditional love by inexperienced lovers forbidden to have what they have. Here’s their scene before going into the coliseum:
ANAKIN
Don't be afraid.
PADMÉ
I'm not afraid to die. I've been
dying a little bit each day since
you came back into my life.
ANAKIN
What are you talking about?
PADMÉ
I love you.
ANAKIN
You love me?! I thought we
decided not to fall in love. That
we would be forced to live a lie.
That it would destroy our lives...
PADMÉ
I think our lives are about to be
destroyed anyway. My love for you
is a puzzle, Annie, for which I
have no answers. I can't control
it... and now I don't care. I
truly, deeply love you, and before
we die I want you to know. Now as a declaration of love between two people on the edge of death, I buy it. These are not Woody Allen and Diane Keaton… They are not mature people having loved and failed at it and tried again and again and again. Their hearts have never been broken. They haven’t been to whorehouses or strip clubs. These are two virgins pussyfooting about a love they’ve never experienced. You can’t judge it by what you would say, unless you happen to be a pussyfooting virgin or really and honestly can remember what the pussyfooting virgin in you once said and sounded like.
Roger Ebert said the most unsexy thing in the world is a declaration of love. WELCOME TO YOUNG LOVE, where the only thing a pair of unloved ears want to hear is that someone loves them and that they love back. And it always ends with a kiss. Lucas spares us the 2 minute copulation moment as Anakin releases too quickly, but frankly… that belongs offscreen.
As for humor, my favorite funny line came from Yoda:
YODA
Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How
embarrassing I happen to have enjoyed C3P0’s funny comments. Did it lighten the moment? Yeah, but I also seem to remember in Empire Strikes Back while being chased through an Asteroid field by Tie Fighters and Star Destroyers, that wonderful gay robot spouting odds, and Han belting back one liners, all when they should just be silent and be navigating like hell. Or at the end of that film, where Threepio is riding R2’s ass about fixing him not the Falcon and being way way waaaay over the top. Frankly, you either like Threepio or not, I love ol Goldenrod.
Now every STAR WARS film has to have a line or two that I love. Frankly the "This party is over," line made me smile. I love the throw down line to Yoda from Dooku… In fact just about anything Christopher Lee said makes me happy. He is just that cool. But far above the rest, my favorite line… The one I’ll quote for the remainder of my years, months, days, hours or minutes that God or my cholesterol level lets me have on this planet is:
JANGO FETT
I'm just a simple man, trying to
make my way in the universe Folks… I don’t know about you. Maybe you didn’t like this film. Personally, I can’t for a second understand that. This is the most intelligently plotted of the Star Wars films. The most viscerally exciting and thrilling of the Star Wars films. And frankly the most entertaining of the Star Wars films for me.
Not once is there a sequence that even vaguely recalls the horror and embarrassing stupidity of the song numbers in Return of the Jedi. Or the Ewoks in general. Jar Jar Binks is very limited and effective to me in this film.
Where does this film stand for me? Without a doubt above Jedi and Phantom. Somewhere in the top three for now. I’ve always fluctuated STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK… They’ve always sort of been back and forth depending upon my mood. Is this a lock for third? I’ll tell you after 10 more viewings. Right now, I’m excited because this, for me, is a STAR WARS movie. Saw with a great fun audience that overall seemed to really love it. Isn’t that what it is all ultimately about?
I mean, what is STAR WARS?
For me, STAR WARS is not just a movie, but a place to be transported. It is a fairy tale of basic human clichés and mythologies thrust against the backdrop of laser swords and space chariots. It’s a place where, "YAHOOOOO KID, NOW LET’S BLOW THIS PLACE AND GO HOME!" in the midst of a battle coming straight out of light speed sounds like the greatest fucking piece of dialogue since, "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
STAR WARS is magic, a magic of innocence and wonderment. And I love that the universe I grew up in as a kid is getting bigger. Adding planets like Geonosis and Kamino was great. Discovering why Boba Fett hates Jedi… wonderful. Just hearing the sound of that wonderful sonic mine… drop your dick cool. Way to go Ben! For me, watching Anakin and Padme’s romance, knowing that it is going to end badly, knowing that I have Han and Leia to look forward to when I end up watching all 6 of these back to back. I LOVE IT. I’m so glad their romance isn’t a mirror of that one. That it will be the story of woe theirs is the story of joy. Hearts crushed and mended in the same epic series.
I want that life. I want chairs that descend from the ceiling as those cool Kamino folk talk to me about my Clone army. I love that we get to see the street life of Coruscant. I love that after two months of having seen the film, after countless fucking interviews and chats and phone calls from long lost friends… that after all of that on a Thursday evening I still have somewhere close to 5500 words to say about the latest installment of the STAR WARS series and I could go on and on and on. That I can talk this stuff all night long and into the morning and the day after that.
I love that there is a new STAR WARS movie playing minutes from my house that literally makes me lose my shit with happiness. I love that in my chatrooms I can argue back and forth and cheer the merits and see elation from so many that they loved this chapter. And sure there are those out there that were disappointed or hated this film, but ya know what. It must suck to be you, because I saw STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and I can’t wait to see it again.
It must be difficult having sworn
your life to the Jedi... not being
able to visit the places you
like... or do the things you
like...
ANAKIN
Or be with the people I love.
PADMÉ
Are you allowed to love? I
thought that was forbidden for a
Jedi.
ANAKIN
Attachment is forbidden.
Possession is forbidden.
Compassion, which I would define
as unconditional love, is central
to a Jedi's life, so you might say
we're encouraged to love.
PADMÉ
You have changed so much
ANAKIN
You haven't changed a bit. You're
exactly the way I remember you in
my dreams.
Of course that is such a serious line. Here you can see Anakin creating his own definitions, allowing himself to love her, at the same time he is professing his love for her. Letting her know about the feelings he has for her and showing her how he’s not that little boy anymore, but someone that can love her. The rest of their dialogue is the clumsy back and forth dialogue of two people that have never really had love before. Anakin has never had it, Padme back before she was Queen. This isn’t mature love. This isn’t perfect love. This is unconditional love by inexperienced lovers forbidden to have what they have. Here’s their scene before going into the coliseum:
ANAKIN
Don't be afraid.
PADMÉ
I'm not afraid to die. I've been
dying a little bit each day since
you came back into my life.
ANAKIN
What are you talking about?
PADMÉ
I love you.
ANAKIN
You love me?! I thought we
decided not to fall in love. That
we would be forced to live a lie.
That it would destroy our lives...
PADMÉ
I think our lives are about to be
destroyed anyway. My love for you
is a puzzle, Annie, for which I
have no answers. I can't control
it... and now I don't care. I
truly, deeply love you, and before
we die I want you to know. Now as a declaration of love between two people on the edge of death, I buy it. These are not Woody Allen and Diane Keaton… They are not mature people having loved and failed at it and tried again and again and again. Their hearts have never been broken. They haven’t been to whorehouses or strip clubs. These are two virgins pussyfooting about a love they’ve never experienced. You can’t judge it by what you would say, unless you happen to be a pussyfooting virgin or really and honestly can remember what the pussyfooting virgin in you once said and sounded like.
Roger Ebert said the most unsexy thing in the world is a declaration of love. WELCOME TO YOUNG LOVE, where the only thing a pair of unloved ears want to hear is that someone loves them and that they love back. And it always ends with a kiss. Lucas spares us the 2 minute copulation moment as Anakin releases too quickly, but frankly… that belongs offscreen.
As for humor, my favorite funny line came from Yoda:
YODA
Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How
embarrassing I happen to have enjoyed C3P0’s funny comments. Did it lighten the moment? Yeah, but I also seem to remember in Empire Strikes Back while being chased through an Asteroid field by Tie Fighters and Star Destroyers, that wonderful gay robot spouting odds, and Han belting back one liners, all when they should just be silent and be navigating like hell. Or at the end of that film, where Threepio is riding R2’s ass about fixing him not the Falcon and being way way waaaay over the top. Frankly, you either like Threepio or not, I love ol Goldenrod.
Now every STAR WARS film has to have a line or two that I love. Frankly the "This party is over," line made me smile. I love the throw down line to Yoda from Dooku… In fact just about anything Christopher Lee said makes me happy. He is just that cool. But far above the rest, my favorite line… The one I’ll quote for the remainder of my years, months, days, hours or minutes that God or my cholesterol level lets me have on this planet is:
JANGO FETT
I'm just a simple man, trying to
make my way in the universe Folks… I don’t know about you. Maybe you didn’t like this film. Personally, I can’t for a second understand that. This is the most intelligently plotted of the Star Wars films. The most viscerally exciting and thrilling of the Star Wars films. And frankly the most entertaining of the Star Wars films for me.
Not once is there a sequence that even vaguely recalls the horror and embarrassing stupidity of the song numbers in Return of the Jedi. Or the Ewoks in general. Jar Jar Binks is very limited and effective to me in this film.
Where does this film stand for me? Without a doubt above Jedi and Phantom. Somewhere in the top three for now. I’ve always fluctuated STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK… They’ve always sort of been back and forth depending upon my mood. Is this a lock for third? I’ll tell you after 10 more viewings. Right now, I’m excited because this, for me, is a STAR WARS movie. Saw with a great fun audience that overall seemed to really love it. Isn’t that what it is all ultimately about?
I mean, what is STAR WARS?
For me, STAR WARS is not just a movie, but a place to be transported. It is a fairy tale of basic human clichés and mythologies thrust against the backdrop of laser swords and space chariots. It’s a place where, "YAHOOOOO KID, NOW LET’S BLOW THIS PLACE AND GO HOME!" in the midst of a battle coming straight out of light speed sounds like the greatest fucking piece of dialogue since, "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
STAR WARS is magic, a magic of innocence and wonderment. And I love that the universe I grew up in as a kid is getting bigger. Adding planets like Geonosis and Kamino was great. Discovering why Boba Fett hates Jedi… wonderful. Just hearing the sound of that wonderful sonic mine… drop your dick cool. Way to go Ben! For me, watching Anakin and Padme’s romance, knowing that it is going to end badly, knowing that I have Han and Leia to look forward to when I end up watching all 6 of these back to back. I LOVE IT. I’m so glad their romance isn’t a mirror of that one. That it will be the story of woe theirs is the story of joy. Hearts crushed and mended in the same epic series.
I want that life. I want chairs that descend from the ceiling as those cool Kamino folk talk to me about my Clone army. I love that we get to see the street life of Coruscant. I love that after two months of having seen the film, after countless fucking interviews and chats and phone calls from long lost friends… that after all of that on a Thursday evening I still have somewhere close to 5500 words to say about the latest installment of the STAR WARS series and I could go on and on and on. That I can talk this stuff all night long and into the morning and the day after that.
I love that there is a new STAR WARS movie playing minutes from my house that literally makes me lose my shit with happiness. I love that in my chatrooms I can argue back and forth and cheer the merits and see elation from so many that they loved this chapter. And sure there are those out there that were disappointed or hated this film, but ya know what. It must suck to be you, because I saw STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and I can’t wait to see it again.
Don't be afraid.
PADMÉ
I'm not afraid to die. I've been
dying a little bit each day since
you came back into my life.
ANAKIN
What are you talking about?
PADMÉ
I love you.
ANAKIN
You love me?! I thought we
decided not to fall in love. That
we would be forced to live a lie.
That it would destroy our lives...
PADMÉ
I think our lives are about to be
destroyed anyway. My love for you
is a puzzle, Annie, for which I
have no answers. I can't control
it... and now I don't care. I
truly, deeply love you, and before
we die I want you to know.
Now as a declaration of love between two people on the edge of death, I buy it. These are not Woody Allen and Diane Keaton… They are not mature people having loved and failed at it and tried again and again and again. Their hearts have never been broken. They haven’t been to whorehouses or strip clubs. These are two virgins pussyfooting about a love they’ve never experienced. You can’t judge it by what you would say, unless you happen to be a pussyfooting virgin or really and honestly can remember what the pussyfooting virgin in you once said and sounded like.
Roger Ebert said the most unsexy thing in the world is a declaration of love. WELCOME TO YOUNG LOVE, where the only thing a pair of unloved ears want to hear is that someone loves them and that they love back. And it always ends with a kiss. Lucas spares us the 2 minute copulation moment as Anakin releases too quickly, but frankly… that belongs offscreen.
As for humor, my favorite funny line came from Yoda:
YODA
Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How
embarrassing I happen to have enjoyed C3P0’s funny comments. Did it lighten the moment? Yeah, but I also seem to remember in Empire Strikes Back while being chased through an Asteroid field by Tie Fighters and Star Destroyers, that wonderful gay robot spouting odds, and Han belting back one liners, all when they should just be silent and be navigating like hell. Or at the end of that film, where Threepio is riding R2’s ass about fixing him not the Falcon and being way way waaaay over the top. Frankly, you either like Threepio or not, I love ol Goldenrod.
Now every STAR WARS film has to have a line or two that I love. Frankly the "This party is over," line made me smile. I love the throw down line to Yoda from Dooku… In fact just about anything Christopher Lee said makes me happy. He is just that cool. But far above the rest, my favorite line… The one I’ll quote for the remainder of my years, months, days, hours or minutes that God or my cholesterol level lets me have on this planet is:
JANGO FETT
I'm just a simple man, trying to
make my way in the universe Folks… I don’t know about you. Maybe you didn’t like this film. Personally, I can’t for a second understand that. This is the most intelligently plotted of the Star Wars films. The most viscerally exciting and thrilling of the Star Wars films. And frankly the most entertaining of the Star Wars films for me.
Not once is there a sequence that even vaguely recalls the horror and embarrassing stupidity of the song numbers in Return of the Jedi. Or the Ewoks in general. Jar Jar Binks is very limited and effective to me in this film.
Where does this film stand for me? Without a doubt above Jedi and Phantom. Somewhere in the top three for now. I’ve always fluctuated STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK… They’ve always sort of been back and forth depending upon my mood. Is this a lock for third? I’ll tell you after 10 more viewings. Right now, I’m excited because this, for me, is a STAR WARS movie. Saw with a great fun audience that overall seemed to really love it. Isn’t that what it is all ultimately about?
I mean, what is STAR WARS?
For me, STAR WARS is not just a movie, but a place to be transported. It is a fairy tale of basic human clichés and mythologies thrust against the backdrop of laser swords and space chariots. It’s a place where, "YAHOOOOO KID, NOW LET’S BLOW THIS PLACE AND GO HOME!" in the midst of a battle coming straight out of light speed sounds like the greatest fucking piece of dialogue since, "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
STAR WARS is magic, a magic of innocence and wonderment. And I love that the universe I grew up in as a kid is getting bigger. Adding planets like Geonosis and Kamino was great. Discovering why Boba Fett hates Jedi… wonderful. Just hearing the sound of that wonderful sonic mine… drop your dick cool. Way to go Ben! For me, watching Anakin and Padme’s romance, knowing that it is going to end badly, knowing that I have Han and Leia to look forward to when I end up watching all 6 of these back to back. I LOVE IT. I’m so glad their romance isn’t a mirror of that one. That it will be the story of woe theirs is the story of joy. Hearts crushed and mended in the same epic series.
I want that life. I want chairs that descend from the ceiling as those cool Kamino folk talk to me about my Clone army. I love that we get to see the street life of Coruscant. I love that after two months of having seen the film, after countless fucking interviews and chats and phone calls from long lost friends… that after all of that on a Thursday evening I still have somewhere close to 5500 words to say about the latest installment of the STAR WARS series and I could go on and on and on. That I can talk this stuff all night long and into the morning and the day after that.
I love that there is a new STAR WARS movie playing minutes from my house that literally makes me lose my shit with happiness. I love that in my chatrooms I can argue back and forth and cheer the merits and see elation from so many that they loved this chapter. And sure there are those out there that were disappointed or hated this film, but ya know what. It must suck to be you, because I saw STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and I can’t wait to see it again.
Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How
embarrassing
I happen to have enjoyed C3P0’s funny comments. Did it lighten the moment? Yeah, but I also seem to remember in Empire Strikes Back while being chased through an Asteroid field by Tie Fighters and Star Destroyers, that wonderful gay robot spouting odds, and Han belting back one liners, all when they should just be silent and be navigating like hell. Or at the end of that film, where Threepio is riding R2’s ass about fixing him not the Falcon and being way way waaaay over the top. Frankly, you either like Threepio or not, I love ol Goldenrod.
Now every STAR WARS film has to have a line or two that I love. Frankly the "This party is over," line made me smile. I love the throw down line to Yoda from Dooku… In fact just about anything Christopher Lee said makes me happy. He is just that cool. But far above the rest, my favorite line… The one I’ll quote for the remainder of my years, months, days, hours or minutes that God or my cholesterol level lets me have on this planet is:
JANGO FETT
I'm just a simple man, trying to
make my way in the universe Folks… I don’t know about you. Maybe you didn’t like this film. Personally, I can’t for a second understand that. This is the most intelligently plotted of the Star Wars films. The most viscerally exciting and thrilling of the Star Wars films. And frankly the most entertaining of the Star Wars films for me.
Not once is there a sequence that even vaguely recalls the horror and embarrassing stupidity of the song numbers in Return of the Jedi. Or the Ewoks in general. Jar Jar Binks is very limited and effective to me in this film.
Where does this film stand for me? Without a doubt above Jedi and Phantom. Somewhere in the top three for now. I’ve always fluctuated STAR WARS and EMPIRE STRIKES BACK… They’ve always sort of been back and forth depending upon my mood. Is this a lock for third? I’ll tell you after 10 more viewings. Right now, I’m excited because this, for me, is a STAR WARS movie. Saw with a great fun audience that overall seemed to really love it. Isn’t that what it is all ultimately about?
I mean, what is STAR WARS?
For me, STAR WARS is not just a movie, but a place to be transported. It is a fairy tale of basic human clichés and mythologies thrust against the backdrop of laser swords and space chariots. It’s a place where, "YAHOOOOO KID, NOW LET’S BLOW THIS PLACE AND GO HOME!" in the midst of a battle coming straight out of light speed sounds like the greatest fucking piece of dialogue since, "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"
STAR WARS is magic, a magic of innocence and wonderment. And I love that the universe I grew up in as a kid is getting bigger. Adding planets like Geonosis and Kamino was great. Discovering why Boba Fett hates Jedi… wonderful. Just hearing the sound of that wonderful sonic mine… drop your dick cool. Way to go Ben! For me, watching Anakin and Padme’s romance, knowing that it is going to end badly, knowing that I have Han and Leia to look forward to when I end up watching all 6 of these back to back. I LOVE IT. I’m so glad their romance isn’t a mirror of that one. That it will be the story of woe theirs is the story of joy. Hearts crushed and mended in the same epic series.
I want that life. I want chairs that descend from the ceiling as those cool Kamino folk talk to me about my Clone army. I love that we get to see the street life of Coruscant. I love that after two months of having seen the film, after countless fucking interviews and chats and phone calls from long lost friends… that after all of that on a Thursday evening I still have somewhere close to 5500 words to say about the latest installment of the STAR WARS series and I could go on and on and on. That I can talk this stuff all night long and into the morning and the day after that.
I love that there is a new STAR WARS movie playing minutes from my house that literally makes me lose my shit with happiness. I love that in my chatrooms I can argue back and forth and cheer the merits and see elation from so many that they loved this chapter. And sure there are those out there that were disappointed or hated this film, but ya know what. It must suck to be you, because I saw STAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE CLONES and I can’t wait to see it again.
I'm just a simple man, trying to
make my way in the universe
