Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Hmmm... I’m reconsidering those exclamation marks in the headline now. After all, I don’t even know what the hell HOPE FLOATS is. And reading Caller From L.A.’s description, he doesn’t sound too enthusiastic. Check it out for yourself:
Henceforth is another non-spoiler review of a film no one really cares about. (Damn...a twist of fate kept me away from the Adaptation screening.) This particular Aint-It-Cool-News (no, it ain't) review is for Hope Springs, with Colin Firth (the guy in Bridget Jones who isn't Hugh Grant), Heather Graham, and Minnie Driver. Romantic comedy.
Summary: The quality of this film is "fair", which is Hugh Jackman-short-of-"Good". I don't recommend spending money to see it. Wait until it is on the Starz cable network.
---
My wife and I discussed the last good romantic comedy we saw, and ended up on Kate & Leopold and Bridget Jones. America's Sweethearts was abso-fucking-lutely horrible, an exercise in yammering 30-foot beautiful heads up on a silver screen.
But as we walk into EVERY screening, we hope to see a good film. And, maybe if our karma has been exceptionally positive that week, maybe we'll see a great film. This isn't it, but...
"Hope Springs" Eternal.
Story: Colin Firth is a sketch artists who comes to the small city of Hope, Maine to get away from his ex-gal Minnie Driver. He meets up with healthcare professional-Heather Graham, and they quickly jump in the sack. Minnie Driver finally shows up 45 minutes into the movie to provide an obstacle to the romance. Oliver Platt is the shallow mayor who wants to set his mark upon the world with a new water beverage, and Mary Steenberger is an accent (not a character mind you, just an accent) who owns the lodge at which Colin and Heather do the horizontal mambo.
A romantic comedy should have two people that you really care about (see: Tom and Meg, Ewan and Nicole). They should have the right amount of cuteness and vulnerability and charm. The female lead is written and acted in this manner, but the male lead is simply British, and as in Bridget Jones' Diary, I didn't care much for Colin Firth. What made us like his Darcy character in B. Jones? His gal cheated on him, and he 'liked you for who you are'. In this film, his only good characteristics are that his gal cheated on him, and he is a good sketch artist. Not good enough.
A few huge plot holes. Minnie Driver is mean to everyone in the city of Hope as she tours about, and Colin and the mayor play a joke on Minnie Driver and tell her that she will be this year's annual 'Queen of Hope'. Minnie falls for it, and Colin lets her and the audience in on the joke. But then, in the finale, Minnie is crowned the Queen of Hope! What? Did I miss an entire subplot here where the citizens and mayor of Hope decided that they like Minnie Driver now?
As for stretching the limits of imagination...Colin and Heather are in bed with each other within 5 minutes of film during Act 1. The entire film takes place in about 3 weeks, and they spend lots of it having sex and drawing in libraries. I DIDN'T SEE THEM FALL IN LOVE, yet Colin hands her an engagement ring at the end of the film. Why? Because it's a cheap, shallow way to get out of the film.
Written and directed by Mark Herman (Little Voice, Brassed Off). Based upon the novel 'New Cardiff' by Charles Webb'.
Acting: Colin Firth plays a character called Colin, which is remarkably like the Mark Darcy character in B. Jones. Colin does loosen up a bit more in this film, but not enough to make me care for his character.
Heather Graham does a load of work here with some bad material. The writer has her getting drunk in a car for no reason, then getting naked for no reason. Heather has the difficult task of playing a character who goes day-to-day with random motivations, and no real arc.
Minnie Driver similarly does decent work here with bad material. Mary Streenberger, for some inexplicable reason, plays a character that is from the Long Island section of Maine. Yes, you read that correctly. She does a Long Island accent, and wears Jersey-girl (Brockovichian?) outfits. The only characters that sound like they are actually from Maine were two shopkeepers who are in the film for 3 minutes, and I wanted to hear more about their story than anyone else in the film.
Direction: Maine has beautiful and unique scenic views, but it looks boring in this film. The pace moves slowly, and there is no obstacle in the film until 45 minutes into the story. The best visuals are Heather Graham mostly naked, and surprise, Minnie Driver mostly naked. As I mentioned above, written and directed by Mark Herman.
Business: No release date. Even so, HSX has this at an opening weekend of about $4 million. If it is released to theaters, then it should make more on Heather Graham alone...at least $6-8 million.
People have too much time on their hands: Firthfrenzy.com
Cheers,
--Caller From L.A.
”Nearly naked.” Is that the same as me “nearly seeing the movie”?
"Moriarty" out.
