Ok, you chose to read on, well god have mercy on your soul, because here comes Joe!!!
First, I want to announce that I, Joe Hallenbeck, will write a review without using the "F" word. Many of you have complained about my profanity, so I thought I would do you a favor and not write out "THAT" word during my review. Now, on to the review....
Geeks and geekettes, we have ourselves a tie for the Best Almost Movie of the Year! In this corner, we have the Number One Box Office Sensation so far this year...MEN IN BLACK!!! And, in this corner, we have David Fincher's latest, The Game, starring none-other than Michael Douglas and Sean Penn. What's that, you say? You don't know what an Almost Movie is? Well, cuddle up to your PC and have good 'ole Joe Hallenbeck 'splain to you what, in fact, an Almost Movie is.
According to Webster's...oops! Not listed yet. According to the Great Book of Hallenbeck, an Almost movie is a movie that has the possibility to obtain greatness, but somewhere along the line, the movie takes a wrong turn and turns out to be just okay. There's something missing....something that the filmmakers failed to include or just didn't think about. Some examples are as followed: Stargate, They Live, Independance Day, etc... These movies, and others, are too good to be called bad, but just not good enough to be called Great! They are "Almost" there. Hence, the name.
Allow me, the one and only Joe Hallenbeck, to give you my two cents on THE ALMOST MOVIE OF 1997.............
The Plot - Is it real or is it all part of the game? That's what we and Mr. Douglas have to figure out. It's one of those Total Recall experiences(yet, not nearly as good). I'm sure most of you know what this flick is about(The title gives most of that away), so I won't bore you with a brief synopsis.
The Writing - Great gimmick. Bad execution. I love plots like the one this flick has -- that whole reality versus fantasy aspect. Is it real or is it just part of the game? Stuff like this just boggles the mind. A person(of average intelligence) can thuroughly nit-pick and disect a script like this 'til the cows come home. They can examine each frame and line of dialogue until their ears and eyes bleed(trust me, I've done so). A well written movie that manges to boggle the mind can become a classic. When I heard what The Game was about I nearly flipped(couldn't though. Bad back). Twelve Monkey's was the last movie to truly take on such a confusing aspect of storytelling and craftily(a real word?) play it out on screen. I was soooooo looking forward to this flick! Before seeing the movie, I managed to get my hands on the script. I breezed through the first 60 pages, then stopped, not wanting to ruin the movie going experience for myself. As I sat down and watched the script unfold on the screen I couldn't help but get more and more depressed. The movie has some cool tricks up it's sleeve, but nothing earth-shattering. The ending....ESPECIALLY THE ENDING....was poorly conceived. When this thing is over, it's over. No big twist. No AH-HA! factor placed in this equation, my friends. Nothing. Nada. When it's over...IT'S OVER!!!! It was such a let down. After going through nearly 2:05 of so-so twists and turns, the movie literally commits suicide(you'll get the joke once you see the flick) in it's final reel. An utter disappointment to say the least.
Another problem I had with the script was in it's pacing. I don't know if it was the writer's lack of imagination or in Fincher's approach to telling the story, but I felt rather bored throughout the flick.
The Directing - A suspenseful thriller with little suspense and no thrills...THAT's what this is. Fincher, proving his worth with Seven, manages to suck out all the fun in a movie that could've been the most intense experience a person's had since watching Silence of the Lambs back in '91. I can't beleive he made this into a dark, brooding drama. Sure, it's cool to see some of Frisco's under belly, but add a sense of fun and intrigue while doing so. This movie should've been a non-stop thrill ride filled with twists and turns. Instead, it turns out to be a boring romp with an unpleasant guy jogging through the Streets of San Fransisco(hey, that's sounds like a cool title for a TV show).
The Acting - Okay.
Michael Douglas - Here, Mike plays yet another up tight, wealthy yuppie who is not likable from the get go. All throughout the movie I wanted this guy to break out of that somber shell and start having some fun while playing this sick, twisted Game his adversaries have concocted. In order for someone to like a movie...especially a so-called Suspense Thriller like this...you must have a likable lead character. Sorry to report this, folks, but Douglas doesn't fit the bill. Crack a smile for chrissakes!
Sean Penn - Good, but underused. I see why Jodie dropped out of the flick. Penn has maybe 15 minutes in the film. He pops up every now and then to confuse the audience on whether or not the Game is real. He's an awesome actor, but why in God's name did he pick such a crappy role?
The Rest - Who cares? They did their job, got the paycheck, and went home. It's all Douglas' movie. If he don't work, then the movie doesn't work.
The music - Temp tracked. 'Nuff said.
The Climax - One of the worst in recent memory. I only hope and pray to God they change it and/or elaborate on it. This ending was such a let down. It took absolutely no thought what-so-ever to come up with this highly predictable and anti-climatic ending. I couldn't beleive it was over after it unfolded on screen. Man, what a let down! It completely ruined the movie for me.
Recap -
- 1) REALLY BAD ENDING!!!
- 2) Not much action.
- 3) Decent twists, but nothing extraordinary.
- 4) So-so direction that should've had a lighter touch. It's not a freakin' Greek Tragedy for CHRISSAKES!!!!
- 5) AWESOME PREMISE!!!
It's because of the awesome premise that this movie falls into that "Almost" category. This movie had so much going for it, but unfortunatley it fails to deliver. I can only hope they tighten the movie here and tweak it there to improve on what could've been a fun, thought-provoking ride. That, and changing the GODDAMN ENDING!!!!
See, I told you guys I can write a review without ever using the word "FUCK."
