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AICN - OSCAR-WATCH! Live Through The Broadcast Updates From Harry's Teeny Tiny Brain!!!

Hey folks, Harry here with another of my long winded Oscar - Watch pieces. Now I can't guarantee that any of this will make any sense at all. For those that have been reading the site for years, you know that I type whatever comes into my mind while watching the Academy Awards. I don't hit backspace, I do not censor my brain... Appropriate and inappropriate things will be typed. I begin with BARBARA WAWAS' Oscar Special, and continue typing through Best Picture. It is a marathon. Obviously going into this evening I'm hoping for big wins from LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING and MOULIN ROUGE. Many of you don't know my feelings about A BEAUTIFUL MIND because frankly... I didn't care for the movie much at all, but felt that if I wrote a review, because I just never was able to come up with a review I was happy with. I would love for Jennifer to win, but frankly I want Tom to win for IN THE BEDROOM.

As always, I'll be watching the Oscars with my family, we all have predictions, and the winner gets the vaunted OSCAR THE GROUCH Trophy for a year! Personally I hope Kublakhan wins!

It is an hour and 15 minutes before Barbara WaWas hits my television set, we're getting ready for a very emotional evening. I hope you enjoy all of this... But I warn you again.... It will be very rambling. See you in a bit...

Ok, so I joined Barbara WaWas in progress, she's just starting the Tom Cruise segment. Holy fuck... That Montana Miss airplane is just amazing.... what a toy!!!! That's a cool toy. What's up with the X-MEN jacket? TOM I WANT TO GO INTO SPACE.... I'll cover your trip to the moon real good!

Oh boy... a post Oscar WaWa bash!!!! Well that Tom Cruise interview was such fluff... I'm so depressed. No good new MINORITY REPORT footage... I wanted to see more of Tom's toys.

The Moulin Rouge opening of the oscars is pretty cool, but I think they are so lying about those posters being up in town.... That would rule though. Halle's dress rules! Ewwww Chris Connelly. Yuck. 28 minutes to show time. Leeza... funky earrings... GO PETER!!!Hahahahha SOUND PROBLEMS!!!! hahahahahahaha

Julia Roberts pees green marks! Those factoids are soooooo informative.... Halle is amazing looking.... and that's like a really hot Elvis Mitchell!!!! Halle's character in DIE ANOTHER DAY is JINX... wonder what that is about. Sissy Spacek... DON'T WIN!!!!!

Look at the cool geek in the Superman shirt!!!! You rule!!!! Owen is set to talk... He looked so bored. Lopez looked so funky... Cameron Diaz... yummmmm... A Salt Lake City party... is that interesting? Oh cool LOTR music!!!

Russell, HIT LEEZA!!!!!

"I wouldn't like to attempt to pee at this point!" best quote of the night so far... Denzel is gonna win... I know it.

Hobbits in Tuxes!!! SEAN.... ELIJAH.... I'm so hypnotized by that bracelet.... OKLAHOMA oscar party? What is going on? The insanity...

Renee is drunk and can't feel her legs and Nicole looks like the most beautiful thing in the world. Except maybe Cameron Diaz who just looks amazing tonight.. OH MY GOD... Smith got to actually box with Ali.... THAT IS SO COOL.

Ok... Now for the 2002 ACADEMY AWARDS

Oh cool... John Williams is conducting for the night!!!!! Very cool, that's a cool auditorium!!! Here comes Tom Cruise.... 6 year old fascination with 2001, wanted to be an astronaut.... RAGING BULL made him want to be an actor... This is a really great opening... Very good... Very very cool. Little person projectionist... Very cool...

This documentary opening is very cool... ERNEST GOES TO JAIL!!!! Flying Monkeys ladies rule... Holy shit, Donald Trump said KING KONG.... GODZILLA VS MOTHRA!!!! FASTER PUSSY CAT KILL KILL!!! Satan!!!!! THE FRONT PAGE... Conkite you rule.... Great work!

Whoopi's opening is classic... what an outfit! "Security here is tighter than some of the faces!" - Whoopi!

Benicio Del Toro comes out to present the award for Best Supporting Actress.... Jennifer... most beautiful nominated actress ever.... Go girl, win win win win.... Helen Mirren - I really didn't care for GOSFORD PARK.... Maggie Smith is a wonderful actress, but again, it didn't thrill me... Marisa Tomei was fantastic in IN THE BEDROOM... a really good scene... Kate Winslet in IRIS.... she's naked more than the others in this category, so she may win..... Oscar goes to.... JENNIFER CONNELLY!!!!!! Yipee!!!!! Her comes super beauty!!! Now if this ends A BEAUTIFUL MIND's run, I'll be very happy for the evening. I hate scripted acceptance speeches....

My brother in law and Yoko Ono have the same favorite movie ever.... What's up with that Sutherland/Glen Close thing. That man would be so pissed if his classic cadillac transformed into that new piece of shit

Get on with it Frank.... Ok, now here comes Will Smith to present for Film Editting Go Moulin Rouge.... Boo on A Beautiful Mind and Blackhawk Down OSCAR GOES TO BLACKHAWK DOWN.... FUCK!!!!! Just because it has more cuts than the others. Fuck!

BEST MAKE-UP Without this process actors and actresses would look just like people in documentaries... GO RICHARD TAYLOR SELECTED- BOOOOO A.B.M. .... And the winner is.... LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!!!! Richard Taylor you fucking rule!!!! YES!!!!!! YES!!!!!!! Oh yes, the make up artists from Meet The Feebles, Brain Dead and more.... YES!!!!! GOOD ON YOU!!!! YES YES YES!!!! Hehehehehehe.... Tears... yes, stupid makeup didn't win, great makeup did... That fringe tux rules all!!!!!

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson to present for BEST COSTUME DESIGN!!! This is a great schtick.... Not an elf you idiot. GO LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!! I'll puke if GOSFORD wins this.... Oscar Goes to MOULIN ROUGE!!!

Cool, Woody Allen just got a standing ovation.... "That makes up for the strip search!" hehehe... He rules... Can't type, laughing and smiling too hard.. Yippee, another movie, a romantic movie about a foot fetishist... Oh, I'm gonna love this short... Yippeee 42nd Street, Anchors Aweigh!!!! Oh man.... On THe Waterfront, GREAT, awesome! Oh man, DOG DAY!!! Ah man. Travolta when he ruled.... Jack, Midnight, Tootsie, Working Girl, Shaft, Fame, West Side, Toys, Taxi, Driver, Ghost... KONG!!! Muppets, French..... WOODY!!!!!! Audrey, Marilyn, too many oh my god, THE APARTMENT.... fantastic... God this is fantastic.... Still I hold the best New York movie ever is MANHATTAN!!

Jodie Foster comes out to give BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY... AMELIE--- gorgeous film.... BLACKHAWK, fucking filters... Go ANDREW for LOTR!!!! MAN WHO WASN'T THERE.... Moulin, nah, Go Deakins or LOTR or AMELIE!!!! And the winner goes to ANDREW!!! YES YES YES!!!!!! he's fucking a great guy... just an amazing person... Really cool guy. So nice. Brian... brian is the lighting man who said, "Do ya want it bright and boring or dark and inneresting." A great character of a guy, who passed away recently. Class Andrew... WAY TO GO!!!!

Helen Hunt comes out to talk about Documentarians... Nice piece...

Sam Jackson to DOCUMENTARY FEATURE -- MURDER ON A SUNDAY MORNING!!! Yes, that's the one I wanted to have win!!!!

Sam to present DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT -- THOTH!!! Again the one I wanted!!! THOTH guy rules the earth!!!

Cameron Diaz speaking Coen Brothers' words about the BEST ART DIRECTION -- God this is funny, and she delivered it dead on. GO LOTR!!! God Amelie was gorgeous!!! Boo GOSFORD.... the winner is MOULIN ROUGE!!!

Roberto the fool loves BEN HUR! I hate him!

BEST ANIMATED film goes to SHREK!!!! Which is cool, I like that film, but prefer MONSTERS INC, and favored un nominated WAKING LIFE most.... But this is cool!

Halle Berry presents BEST SOUND, and my god her performance of explaining the sound category was sterling, I hope she wins best Actress... GO LOTR!!!!! And the winner goes to...... BLACKHAWK DOWN.... sigh....

SOUND EDITING -- Go Monsters Inc!!!!! PEARL HARBOR wins... sigh

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR.... Go Ian Go Ian Go Ian!!!!! Go IAN GO IAN GO IAN GO IAN GO IAN GO IAN GO IAN GO IAN GO IAN GO IAN!!!!!! FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! Jim Broadbent won! He's fantastic in the film, but I so wanted... so wanted Ian to win. Jim was great, really was, but... sigh....

Whoopi's Hobbit feet rule! Ian and Maggie look very cool.. CIRQUE DE SOLIEL doing effects work live sucks, I'd rather see just the effects.... though that ring of fire was badass! This is pretty cool, but I prefer my clips... Clips rule, live performance interpretations suck on TV, but I bet rule in person!

Coool Spidey Theme.... Parker and Mary Jane to present VISUAL EFFECTS --- Go LOTR!!!!! Go RANDY!!!!!!!! YIPEEEEE!!!!!!! LORD OF THE RINGS WINS!!!!!!! YES!!!!!! Go Randy, do something crazy!!! FUCK THEY CUT RANDY OFF!!!!! FUCK THEM ARGH!!!!!!!!!

Here’s JOHN WILLIAMS doing best moments in movie music medley…. Fox theme…. Casablanca …. Citizen Kane, Fox theme…. Star Wars… The Sea Hawk…. Spellbound…. Titanic…. Psycho…. Jaws…. Pink Panther….heheheh… EXODUS, interesting choice…. OUT OF AFRICA, DR ZHIVAGO…. Aahhhhh…. BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI….. PATTON… Rocky… MAGNIFICENT SEVEN….. THE NATURAL….. CINEMA PARADISO…. GODFATHER…. E.T. GONE WITH THE WIND….

Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock present BEST MUSIC ORIGINAL SCORE --- GO LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!!!! Like Monsters Inc and Harry Potter too…. YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! HOWARD SHORE WON!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES YES!!!!!! Hahahahaha…. Yippeeee!!!!

Sidney Poitier tribute has been absolutely tremendous…. Though no SNEAKERS footage… sadly… Here he comes…. Damn he’s cool, just look at him! Be still, he’s about to speak… Boy does he command a room…. Look at him! So far this is the best moment of the night. He’s just great!

Naomi Watts and Hugh Jackman "Standing right here at the good god almighty Academy Awards!!!" Fucking great!!!! "Our Mommies and Daddies" Oh man, Billy Bob's neighbors won...

ANIMATED SHORT FILM -- go 50 PERCENT GREY!!!! GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!!!! Premiered at BUTT-NUMB-A-THON!!!! GO GO GO GO!!! FOR THE BIRDS!!! Pixar wins one... that's cool!

BEST SONG I don't like this song.... J-Lo looks like ass this year, terrible hair! She's presenting BEST SONG!!! The Winner Is.... MONSTERS INC... which technically was the best performed song tonight!

Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke present BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY --- Akiva Goldsman for A BEAUTIFUL MIND!!! He's so giddy. Hehehehe... I wanted GHOST WORLD or LORD OF THE RINGS to win....

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY -- go MEMENTO!!! Go AMELIE!!! Go ROYAL TENENBAUMS!!! Boo Gosford.... puke puke... And the winner is.... PUUUUUUUUKE.... GOSFORD PARK wins.... Shit on that boring crap!

Oh god, the tribute section.... gonna cry Jack Lemmon, oh god… Nigel Hawthorne, Beatrice Straight, Eileen Heckhart, Jason Miller Ann Sothern, Harold Russell, Kim Stanley, Michael Ritchie, Ted Demme, Budd Boetticher, Hiroshi Teshigh.. Herbert Ross, Julia Phillips, Jay Livingston, William Hanna, Chuck Jones, Samuel Z Arkocff, Danilo Donati, Sacha, John Alonzo, Carroll O Conner, Aaliyah, George Harrison, crying now, Anthony Quinn… actually sobbing. Dance… Oh man, shorter than most years, by the grace of god!

Baba is presenting a Robert Redford Tribute... Redford is about as great an actor, film activist and film entity in existence. Come on show 3 DAYS OF THE CONDOR, yes... and they showed my 3rd favorite scene! Sidney and Robert... hell of a duo of special actor tributes... But Redford's work on SUNDANCE INSTITUTE.... that is the greatest! Best lucking guy in a tux in that building! I was just watching him talk. Redford is charisma.

Crowe to present BEST ACTRESS -- Go HALLE!!! HALLE BERRY WON.... oh god, look at her!!!! Oh man... YES!!!!!!! Oh man!!! YES HALLE WON!!!!! So happy I'm crying! Her work in MONSTER'S BALL is flat out amazing, fantastic... Now that's a heart felt acceptance speech... Oh wow...

Julia Roberts to present BEST ACTOR to DENZEL WASHINGTON!!!! Yup! Very cool!!! Very pleased with the way this night is coming along… Very happy. Very good!!!


Mel Gibson to present for BEST DIRECTOR --- Go Peter!!!! Go Peter!!!! Ron Howard wins! Personally I was hoping that he would win for THE ALAMO. And maybe he’ll pull down his second for that, but I was really rooting for Peter.

Tom Hanks is presenting for BEST PICTURE…. Please … please…. Please….. oh man please….. please…. Give it…. Give it to LOTR…. Please… A BEAUTIFUL MIND wins…. I knew in my heart A BEAUTIFUL MIND would win, but sigh…….

Well at least Halle, Randy Cook, Richard Taylor, Andrew Lesnie and Howard Shore won... Can't expect the Academy to be too cool...

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