Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Steve Dallas is turning into quite the little gadfly, isn't he? He's been turning in a review a week (at least) for the last month, month and a half. And it looks like he finally found something he liked. His SHOWTIME review is first, but check out that second review. Talk about love!!
Thanks to the wonderful people at CHUD, I caught a screening of SHOWTIME tonight. It's a buddy cop flick, starring Eddie Murphy and Bobby De Niro, and it's a film I've been rather conflicted about for a week or two. You see, this film looks awful on paper. All the usual "avoid like it's ISHTAR" warning bells went off in my head when I heard about it. But every time I watch the trailer, I can't help but laugh. Turns out, I was right on both counts. De Niro and Murphy are absolutely electric. Pity they wrapped such a shitty film around them.
Mitch Preston(De Niro) is a LA Detective. He's not pretty, he's not flashy - He's just effective. After a drug bust goes horribly wrong, he has to make good with his betters by starring in a COPS-type show. Mitch is a little dull, so the TV-types give him a new partner - wanna be actor Trey Sellars (Murphy). As the TV producer (Renee Russo) turns his life upside down, Mitch has to break in a new partner and catch a cadre of gun runners who threaten truth, justice, and the American way.
Christ. Who wrote this?
The chemistry between De Niro and Murphy is undeniable. Their characters are really well thought out. De Niro's old, bitter cop has all these little quirks. For example - he's a pottery junkie. He has a Kiln in his bathroom. Could you think of anything more dull? Murphy's "IceTrey" is just great. When we meet him, he's auditioning for a role as a TV detective. He overplays the hell out of it, and the producers laugh him off: "don't quit your day job" they mutter.. "unless you're an actor". As he leaves the studio, he's changed back into his police blues, and climbs into his squad car.
Almost every moment those two spend on screen together is magic, and their performances alone are worth the price of admission. If they had played this as a straight buddy cop flick, it would have made more money than God. The Shatner bit is also nice, but you've seen the best parts in the trailer. There are some great scenes where TJ teaches Murphy how to use his eyebrows, but truth be told, it got old kinda quick. It's a great joke, but it's not enough to justify a subplot.
The following elements also succeed: James Roday's cameraman, Johnny Cochrane's cameo, and the clever inclusion of "the ballad of the green berets".
Everything else about the film is bad. Awful. TANGO & CASH was KING LEAR by comparison.
The main problem with this film is the story. It's a horrible, horrible mess of a film that bites off much more than it can chew. You've got three distinct plotlines: The conflict between Murphy & De Niro, The TV show, and a bad guy. Given these characters and this cast, any ONE of these would have made a great film. The film comes in at 90 minutes, which includes 3 minutes of bloopers which run before the credits. With so much story to tell, why did they spend so little time telling it? None of the elements get the attention they deserve.
As I said before, the only part of this film that worked was the buddy cop bit with Murphy & De Niro. The other storylines were awful. The TV show subplot involved an awful lot of Rene Russo, who've I generally liked up till now. In the LETHAL WEAPON series, she's charming and witty. In this film, she's a black hole. Her performance had all the emotional depth of Freddy Prinze Jr. on Valium. She's down to a size two. Maybe she's hungry. Maybe she sold her soul to look good in THOMAS CROWN. God knows it's painfully absent here. Damn shame. Hot starlets are a dime a dozen. Actors are rare. The TV stuff was painful to watch.
The villain subplot was almost nonexistent. Cartoonish bad guy has a really big gun. It's a prototype, and if he's not stopped, he's going to bring in a shipment of really big guns and sell them to really bad people. Aforementioned bad guy is in five scenes, including the climax. He's introduced, and does something really naughty. In a second unit shot he blows up a car, just to establish that yes, it is a really big gun, and yes, he's a really bad guy. He gets heckled / interrogated by Murphy & De Niro. He helps knock off an armored car. Finally, he's cornered with the goods and participates in the big climactic battle scene. This is his entire role. What's the point of having a bad guy if you're not going to use him? More importantly, what's the point of a cop film without a bad guy?
The movie jumps around a lot. There isn't any discernable line through the story, and you hop from scene to scene without any real sense of purpose. Much of that you can blame on the script, but part of the blame has to go to whoever edited this. One scene, involving a car chase, is particularly reprehensible. If Michael Bay was stricken with Downs syndrome, this is what his work would look like. It's not that the car chase is that bad, it's just pieced together so badly you can't tell what's going on. Give me a two kindergarteners, a tame mouse and an AVID, and I could do better work. In his defense, I don't think the cinematographer knew how to shoot action. Most of the movie looks fine, but all the action sequences are a train wreck.
The sad thing is, Murphy & De Niro are actually good in this. I'd even go so far as to say it's Murphy's best work in a while. But the film itself is just bad. If Warner's had set this up right, they could have had another LETHAL WEAPON franchise. As it is, it's an utterly forgettable film, featuring two actors who deserved better. When you take two A-list stars and waste them like this, someone needs to be held accountable.
Steve Dallas
Now watch... Jorge Saralegui is going to accuse us of having invented Steve Dallas just to further rain on his parade now that Dallas has reviewed both this and QUEEN OF THE DAMNED. However, that's not the case. Steve is his own man, and he is indeed capable of loving a film with that black little heart of his. Here's proof:
M.,
Thanks to those wonderful people at CHUD, I caught a screening of KISSING JESSICA STEIN last week. Generally, I'm not much for romantic comedies - it's a useless genre of film that we'd be better off without. But every so often, one comes along that breaks free of the clichés and entertains the hell out of you. WHEN HARRY MET SALLY was one. FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL was another. KISSING JESSICA STEIN is that sort of film. I simply enjoyed the hell out of it.
Jessica Stein is a beautiful, young New York journalist at the end of her emotional rope. Her brother is engaged, her best friend is pregnant, and she hasn't dated in a year. She goes on a furious dating spree, with hellish results. With a score of men in her wake and her self esteem in shambles, she's reduced to perusing the personal ads. There, she finally finds a glimmer of hope. She stumbles across an ad containing her favorite obscure quote. There's only one problem:
... it's in the women seeking women section.
KISSING JESSICA STEIN is the story of two straight women who get fed up with the bullshit associated with dating men and decide to play for the other team. Problem is, these girls don't know anything about being lesbians, so they have to make up the rules as they go. As Jimmy Buffett said, it's a love story, from a different point of view. It's smart, it's brutally honest, and it's funny as hell.
First-time screenwriters Heather Juergensen and Jennifer Westfeldt hit a home run their first time out. Lesser writers have cleverly referred to them as "the female Ben & Matt", but I don't go in for bullshit witticisms. Besides, neither of these women would ever appear in Phantoms, and I think they're smarter than that.
This film is exceptionally well written. In a few short vignettes, it perfectly sums up the hell of modern dating. After your head stops spinning, you understand the desperation and loneliness that consumes Jessica. This film is much more than just "When Sally met Sally". It features the trademark New York Jewish comedy shtick, but doesn't rely on it. It has characters you both understand and care about. It turns the tables on sexuality and plays hell with dating conventions. You see dating through a whole different lens. When the dust settles, you're looking at your own behavior in a whole different light.
The dialogue in this film was especially well crafted, and with good reason. Juergensen and Westfeldt have been working on this project for more than four years. This project began as an off-off Broadway show. "LipShtick", ran for nine days before being scooped up by Interscope. The studio spent two years trying to figure out what to do with it. In the end, the duo bought back the rights and made it themselves. This project went through countless rewrites and readings over the years, and the work paid off. The words are organic. It's like you're watching a life, not a film. You could watch this with your eyes closed, and it would still be better than 75% of what I've seen this year. The words just sing.
The acting is excellent. Juergensen and Westfeldt also have the leads in the film, and the time they've spent developing these characters paid off. The actors workshopped these roles for years before this ever came to the screen. They give finely honed, nuanced performances that you don't usually see in this genre. These women are performing like their lives depended on it, which, in a way, they did. They scavenged from friends, acquaintances and relatives to raise the money to make this. They aren't just acting for a paycheck - They've got an awful lot invested in this film, and it shows. HEDGWIG came from a similar background. John Cameron Mitchell had been working on that project for years, and he knew that character inside and out. He threw everything he had into that performance, and the result was amazing. When you're invested in a project like this, you do your best work.
They are surrounded by an exceptional supporting cast, many of which have been with them since the original theatrical run. Scott Cohen shows exceptional range as Jessica's ex-boyfriend and current boss. I thought his character was going to be a throwaway, but it turns out he's got one of the more interesting roles in the piece. Tovah Feldshuh is wonderful as Jessica's verklempt Jewish mother from Hell. I don't know who played the Grandmother, but God bless her. Jackie Hoffman does a nice turn as Jessica's pregnant best friend, who's just a little too curious about the whole affair. It's a nice, subtle touch. Helen's two gay friends killed me. I have no idea who they were, but they slayed me. As with the principles, these folks weren't acting for a paycheck. They wanted to be involved, and it showed in their performances.
The film itself looks great. It was shot in New York, and the director took full advantage. They made extensive use of the streets, and let the city be their backdrop. You can tell they stole more than a few shots from the looks of passersby, but this film is anything but amateurish. Although they shot this for a little under $1 million, it looks like much more. The soundtrack also worked quite well. There is this one particular spanish guitar piece - it haunts the scenes at Jessica's parents house. I really dug it, and it worked quite well. And any film which uses Barry White for the love scenes gets props from me.
I think the only problems I have with this film is the way it handles sexuality. It's a romantic comedy and shouldn't be taken too seriously, but I still have my reservations. For these two women, coming out is a cakewalk. Everyone is warm, loving, and accepting. It's a little bit too "Cosby" for my taste: It's just too easy. My other objection is the way it treats homosexuality as a dalliance. Maybe for some people it is. I honestly don't know. I'm just a simple breeder, but I've never felt that way about it. The homosexuality in this film is the trendy / cool kind. But for many people, this is a lifestyle, and I have this nagging suspicion that the gay community isn't going to respond to this as you might expect. Love is hard to find, for all of us… but your sexuality doesn't change at the flip of a switch. You are who you are.
I've developed a love for independent films. They're not easy to make. As a result, the ones that get made are the ones that someone really cared about. Somebody has to move heaven and earth to make a film like this happen. Heather Juergensen and Jennifer Westfeldt loved this project. You can tell that from watching it. They nurtured it along the way, and probably poured more of their life into it than they ever imagined they would. But that spark, that magic, is what makes a film like this special. You couldn't get a thimble of it out of all the prints of QUEEN OF THE DAMNED and MOTHMAN PROPHICES combined. But this film overflows with it. The sad thing is, most people will never even know it exists. It's rolling out this week in limited release from Fox Searchlight, and it's going up against some heavy hitters. I'm not sure how long it's going to hang around.
In short, this is easily one of the better films I've seen this year. It's clever, well written, sexy & smart. It's painfully honest, but It's funny as hell. Seek this one out.
PS: Yes, you can take a date to this. My wife thought it was great. It's gotten a lot of press in women's magazines such as GLAMOUR, and she probably already knows about it. It's a very sexual piece, but it's not explicit.
Thanks, Steve. I guess I'll check out STEIN after all, even though the trailers didn't do anything for me. You're not the only one to rave about it to me. If you want to see ten minutes of the movie and see for yourself, CLICK HERE NOW!! As for SHOWTIME... well...
"Moriarty" out.
