Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
SEVEN SAMURAI?
Let's say you manage to do the very best job that can be done. Let's say you manage to make THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN. Well, it's still already been done.
You are cannibalizing your library. You are throwing paint on the Leo the Lion logo with each new version of a beloved classic that you announce. Your production slate is an abysmal wasteland of potential remakes that all make ROLLERBALL look brilliant by comparison. It's obvious you literally have no idea whatsoever how to choose an original idea or nurture an original thought. You are the creative undead. You simply regurgitate an endless diet of recycled material because you are afraid of what might happen if you actually took a risk and tried to be an industry leader instead of the most pathetic and obvious followers in the business.
And, yes, I get it. You're trying to pump up your value on paper while you're for sale. But in doing so, you get fans riled, and I end up with almost 80 e-mails about this since just this morning. Variety runs the story and suddenly I'm up to my neck in panicked geeks. It seems that each new weeks brings another announcement of another unwanted and unneeded remake, and sooner or later, you're literally going to kill the geek nation with this crap.
You know what the wor... aw, screw it. You'll do what you want to, and you'll remake this no matter what. I promise you this: you will be beaten by something else. You're probably reacting to the success of GLADIATOR and CROUCHING TIGER and LORD OF THE RINGS, thinking of swordplay and an epic story and the current East/West fascination in pop culture. But rehashing this story isn't enough. Audiences are open to this sort of material if they're genuinely entertained, and it's going to take a remarkably strong writer to not be overwhelmed by the task of adapting such great source material. Chances are some original is going to come along at some other studio that's in the same genre, and that film is going to click and find the audience you think you'll get. And you know why? Because audiences hunger for fresh experiences, things that aren't just remakes and rehashes and same old, same old. One of the reasons THE MATRIX hit such a nerve for people was because it wasn't a sequel or a remake. It was a new story for the audience, and they responded. And if you don't set SEVEN SAMURAI in the correct time... if you make it a "contemporary retelling," as the articles threaten, then what are you going to do? Make them seven guys with guns? Ohhhh... it's making my head hurt... I have to lie down...
"Moriarty" out.
