Hey folks, Harry here... Well, it looks like my book tour gets underway in the next week or so. I've never done this before so please have mercy on me at these events. I am eagerly looking forward to the book signing and talks - and a bit stunned by the amount of press interviews that I'm being put up for, but I suppose that's all a part of having something to sell. Strange.
Here's the first few events that I know of at the moment. As I learn more, I'll post more here so that the information is up to date. I kick this sucker off in London, England!!!
LONDON
On Friday - March 1st at the BORDERS (203 Oxford St, London W1) in London, England at 6:30pm... I'll be talking, answering questions, signing books and being a bit of a cheeky bastard. I don't know what I'm doing after this event, or how long this event is, but I suggest we take over a pub afterwards and drink till we can drink no more. BTW - for my entire book tour I'll be wearing my very own British Shoes bought here in Austin, Texas at ATOMIC CITY!
SXSW FILM FESTIVAL
Then on Monday, March 11th at the South By Southwest Film Festival (Austin Convention Center; 500 East Cesar Chavez Street) from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. I'll be hosting a Happy Hour Party and Signing. This'll basically be a glug and glug style party, where I get all Hemingway on ya. I'll tell old lies and new, whilst slinging that pen across a page. This'll be a tune up for...
LOS ANGELES - HOLLYWOOD
Hollywood, California on March 19, a Tuesday I understand, at a place called BOOK SOUP (8818 Sunset Boulevard - West Hollywood, CA 90069 - 310.659.3684) at 8:00 p.m. At this event, I'll be talking (if my mouth works) and signing (I'm told that a pen will be placed in my hand and somebody will move my hand making a firm 'X' in each book!) till Episode 2 comes out. I will be in a very good mood I predict and will allow beautiful women to take pictures on my lap whilst bouncing -- this will also be allowed in London and at the Happy Hour Party at SXSW.
AUSTIN, TEXAS
Next is in Austin, Texas (which I can't wait to visit) on April 1st at BOOK PEOPLE (603 North Lamar - 512.472.5050) at 7:00 p.m. Now you Austin folks, don't be put off by my strange foreign accent. It may be hard to get through at times, but if you concentrate, you'll have a McTiernan moment where you'll suddenly understand and be thrilled to death. You should be especially aware that I'll be a bit scared... being in a new city and all.
Copies of the book are now shipping out from AMAZON on a daily basis. Click on the Cover to go get one!
Now - so far I've only seen 3 reviews of the book. The first by KIRKUS REVIEWS and the second by PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY. The two major literary industry trades, and shockingly they were raves. Here they are... I apologize for the quality of the print as I was faxed these reviews and faxes suck!
However the 3rd review comes from my buddy, my pal, that evil slab of flesh you all know as Joe Hallenbeck. He liked the book, but despised two chapters vehemently. So in my best imitation of Charles Foster Kane, I present Jedediah Leland (aka Joe Hallenbeck)'s review of AINT IT COOL.....
Harry,
Hope I caught you offguard with this review. Great job on the book. Just don't cast Ben Assface as yours truly in the flick.
Define Irony: Harry Knowles' most notorious spy gets his greasy hands on the unpublished manuscript of Harry's autobiography and writes a review of it months before its publication. If that's not ironic I don't know what is!
The Mighty Joe Hallenbeck here with a different kind of review today. Most of you are familiar with my rantings or ravings about movies that have yet to be released, but none of you have ever read a book review by yours truly. Well, considering I have never written one (unless you count High School book reports) then that's quite understandable. I think the greatest thing about writing this review is knowing that Harry wasn't expecting this. I wish I was there to see his round, cherubic face as he opened my email and read a review of his 2-? year long writing project. Oh, what joy it would have been to see him laugh his ass off at my ramblings and see the fire in his eyes as he read over passages that may have irritated him. Yes, my fellow fan bitches -- whether you're an actor, director or a fanboy who knows where it's at, everyone gets a swing from the Mighty One's Bat! (Hey, that RHYMES!)
When I confronted myself with this task I had to seriously ask if I could step aside as Harry's friend and just be his critic. Well, after reading the first 4 pages I realized I would have NO problem sharpening the nails on my bat and laying waste to this Redheaded Stepchild of the 'Wood.
Harry, as any self-respecting fanbitch of the site knows, has the tendency to drone on and on about his daily life and his passion for films and what makes each one great. Much to my surprise, he didn't do that this much in the book (thank GOD for editors!). Instead, Master Knowles gets down to the meat and potatoes in most chapters. . .harldly pulling any punches. The first 150 pages are a pure delight! So much so that I read it all in one night (a miracle if you REALLY know me!). From the opening sentences I can hear Harry's Texan drawl narrate his amusing, often times disturbing stories of his youth. Being a friend of Harry I knew about some of his troubles, but never in such detail as they are presented in this book. To have survived a "Mr. Potter-esque" grandfather and to have had endured a brainwashed alcoholic mother like our good friend Master Knowles did and still come out to be one of the nicest guys I have ever met says quite a deal about his character. One can tell from early on that it was guys like Ford, Capra, Sturges, and Curtiz that had just as much to do with his upbringing as his own Mom and Dad did. It was these filmmakers, as well as the 1000's of comic books and Monster mags, that managed to keep Harry grounded in. . .well, ironically, REALITY. I don't want to give away too much detail in these opening Chapters because if I do, you will lose that "Oh my God" factor. . .you know, that's what you say to yourself as you read some of these passages, "Oh my God, I can't believe his mom did that!" or "Oh my God, it's a miracle that his Dad is still as cool as he is!"
It was in these 150 pages where I really got to know Harry more intimately. When you have someone lay out to you, balls-to-the-wall, the kind of atrocities their family members were capable of doing one tends to think that maybe Lizzy Borden DID the right thing! When reading these pages, think Robert Towne, think Chinatown and then you'll get the picture.
After breezing through more than half of the book I came to a chapter that made me stop dead in my tracks. Chapter 14 is entitled, "Basic Instinct." This is the longest chapter of the book and the one chapter in most need of editing. Some may find it a fascinating read. I found it long, repetitive, and at times insufferable. The chapter deals with my favorite weasel, Joe Farrell and his NRG Company. Now, it's no secret that moi and Mr. Farrell don't like each other AT ALL! Hell, he had a PI investigating me, trying to find out my true identity. The man HATED me with every fiber in his being, but he hated Harry even more. It took me 3 nights to read through most of this analytical dreck. Nearly 3 pages are dedicated to the film MANNEQUIN, a movie Joe was a producing partner on. It was a film that cost 7 million to make and grossed 41 million. Now, while the movie is no work of art, it's still a success. That's something you can't take away from Joe. . .like it or not. Now, the problem with this chapter (as well as the last chapter of the book) is that it's not written by Harry. . .or, at least it seems that way to me -- For 150 pages you hear Harry's voice as the narrator, then, you hit this 300 foot brick wall and some Ivy league pudknocker with a PHD in English and a hatred for modern film comes in and begins to dictate what's wrong with the 'Wood and whine about why nothing is being done about it. When you read those first several chapters you realize that Harry is writing from the heart. However, when the vitriolic, soapbox mentality springs to life it seems that Harry's heart is put away and his brain takes over. And that, my fellow fan bitches is where the book sadly falls apart. The passion and humor are gone and all you're left with is a thesaurus full of twenty-five cent words and enough research to bore even an MIT graduate. The word "HATE" came to mind while reading through these sentences . . .not because of what Harry and his co-authors were writing, but what they were doing to this whimsical read. The bone wasn't picked - it was eviscerated, broken into a million pieces and burned in the flames of HELL!
It took me many days to finish this chapter. When I finally did I was relieved to see that Harry stepped off the soapbox and began to narrate his tale in his own voice again. His stories of the TITANIC screenings, his "sell-out" debacle over Godzilla and his unfortunate relationship with some schmuck named "RAY" brought back fond memories to this ol' coot. While the Titanic and Godzilla tales were a fun read, I felt that the entire RAY story could have been left on the cutting room floor. For those of you out there who don't know about this dick (that would make most of you) let me explain who RAY is. He was some schmuck that conned Harry and his friends into believing that he had the rights to THE HOBBIT - something which even I knew sounded way too good to be true, but Harry and the gang fell for it. To make the long story short, the guy was a fraud and Harry was made the fool. If I was the editor of this book I would have drawn a red line through the entire chapter and ask the big guy to write me something else. The chapter just felt like filler. . .with no real meaning or interest behind it. However, that's just one asshole's opinion. Some may find glee in the fact that Harry was duped. Others may think it was a terrible thing and that Harry grew a bit more wise because of it. I know personally it's the latter, but that still doesn't change the fact that I think the chapter is pointless.
The book concludes with yet another soapbox speech by Master Knowles and his two cohorts in the Chapter entitled BORN YESTERDAY (OR THE GEEK MANIFESTO). In it, Harry preaches on about how writers get the shaft and how the marketing people are ruining the element of surprise for the average moviegoer. While what is being said is quite true, it's nothing we all haven't heard before. Harry drones on and on about how Hollywood should make movies. His points are valid, but it's like giving a copy of Slaughterhouse Five to the cast of Temptation Island - the words just look like alphabet soup to them. In Hollywood, as Gump puts it, "STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES." They don't get it and they will never get it. It's like beating a dead horse. This past year's crop of "so-called" films proves that (with the exception of LOTR and The Royal Tenenbaums). We all know Hollywood is in a massive creative slump. However, writing 30 pages on it sure doesn't help the cause, nor does it make the book interesting. Once again, the research was done and the writing seems like a Grad Student wrote it. At times one can hear Harry's voice, but it's muffled and in the distance.
I'm on the fence with this book. I absolutely LOVED the first 150 pages. I found it fascinating to read about how this man grew up in such a turbulent family, then took his accident and turned it into a positive by creating this site that we all know and love. His tales of star meetings and phone calls at all hours of the night put a smile on my face. I didn't mind the name dropping because those names are necessary to the story.
What I hate is what Harry and his co-authors then turned the book into - a scud missile aimed at Hollywood and Joe Farrell. There ain't nothing new about it. The targets are large and have been fired upon before. Instead of stepping up onto that soapbox, Harry should have jogged his memory and spun tales of how he met his spies, where he has been flown to and all the assorted creeps, cock suckers, and cool dudes and dudettes he has met throughout the years. What started out as a personal journey of one movie geek quickly turned ugly and impersonal.
There will be many naysayers who will complain that he didn't get into the MEAT of all his woes. They will say that there is no mention of his TV show, or the countless accusations of selling out. They will say he didn't address certain issues dealing with Moriarty, myself and other people who write for the site. Well, to those people I say this - Some of those stories aren't his to tell.
Would I recommend this book? Yes - I would. That is, if you are a movie lover and/or fan of the site. The Chapter titles are charming and the appendix of favorite films and most hated films is a real hoot to read. I just LOVE the way Harry writes about Pinocchio. He made me look at the movie in a different light. Now I finally realize why it's considered Disney's Greatest. For that, I am thankful. I also loved the last section of the book where Harry talks about his "dream" projects. It's passages like these that make this book a fun read. You can practically see the smile on his face and hear the enthusiasm in his voice when he speaks about these hopeful prospects. If only that exuberance would have carried over to the dull and mundane chapters BASIC INSTINCT and BORN YESTERDAY.
I know for sure that I'll pick up my official copy of the book when it hits stores this March. Also, be sure to lookout for Volume 1 of Moriarty's first 3 months in the womb and my autobiography, "BOY, DOES MY ASS HURT (OR HOW I COPED WITHOUT HAVING MY FRONT TEETH AND LEARNED HOW TO SWALLOW)."
You can send your alternate title suggestions to: the cocksucker
T.T.F.N.,
Joe Hallenbeck
I also got this one that came in from someone that had never heard of the site before reading the book....
Hello Red-One,
Just wanted to let you know I got my hands on an uncorrected-proof from the book store I used to work at (before the new Time-Warner building moved in down the street which trpled the rents for Coliseum Books, New yorks oldest and largest independent book store for almost 30 years...fuckin pirates) and I really enjoyed your story. I have to admit I wasn't very familiar with yourself or your site beforehand but I enjoyed your story and insights all the same. I was especially attracted to the scenes about your familial background, minus all the strife of having to put up with haunted lineage, insane mothers and estranged fathers - I'd have to say you had what I consider an ideal childhood. At least in this movie-lovers oppinion. So keep up the good work and I hope the book does well, I'm going to buy a copy when it gets released to see what changes were made. I'll be sending you some reviews of my own when I catch Roadrunner in my house. Oh yeah, theres a certain animated short I kinda need your help looking for, if you think you've got the time I'll bother you with the details later. Until then-
Sincerely,
Miguel
BKLYN, NY
