Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
One thing's for sure: Muad Dib is not a plant.
He does, however, seem to have a fondness for a certain plant, and as a result, I ask that you kiddies skip this review. Muad Dib seems to have forgotten to switch on that truth filter where there are certain things you don't mention. That blunt honesty is applied quite liberally to his view on HART'S WAR, though, and that makes his review worth a read. So here he is, one of the genuine menaces of AICN Chat, Muad Dib...
MuadDib here. It’s been a while since my last contribution to the site, so I’m ready and eager to jump in with something new.
I guess I’ll preface my review with a disclaimer that I am writing this piece while in the delicate process of getting stoned. So, I blame all lapses in coherence and grammar on the demon plant marijuana.
I took in a screening of HART’S WAR Friday morning, and I’m a bit stuck sitting here at my keyboard. HART’S WAR is being released in the dumping grounds of February, along with the likes of ROLLERBALL, CROSSROADS, and QUEEN OF THE DAMNED. And for good reason, too.
The film represents that one thing that the film critic despises most: mediocrity. There is nothing noteworthy about this film. Nothing to really write about. When the screening ended at about 4:30 in the A.M., I was not quite certain if I’d just watched a movie, or if I’d gone unconscious for 110 minutes. A film critic writes for extremes... the glory of FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS, the nadir of SLACKERS. HART’S WAR affords us none of that. The film is smooth, gliding unremarkably in the middle lane for the duration.
Our movie is directed by Greg Hoblit (FALLEN, FREQUENCY), who is fast becoming a veteran of simply adequate filmmaking. The film is adapted to screen by two guys who I’ve never heard of named Billy Ray and Terry George from a novel by John Katzenbach that I joyously plan to never read. Hoblit’s film is the latest in the fine tradition of far better movies like STALAG 17 and THE GREAT ESCAPE, but it also fits in a military trial towards the end. That’s all you really need to know about the plot and such.
If you’ve seen any of the promotional material for the film, you have been lied to. Banners for the film show a constipated Bruce Willis glaring forward with “HART’S WAR” boldly written underneath. One thinks, logically, that Willis is Hart, and he will be warring over something or other. That is not the case. In all actuality, the character of Hart is played by Colin Farrell, who comes out of this one looking okay. Willis is given top billing, but here he simply squints more than he did in PULP FICTION, but less than he did in THE SIEGE. It’s too bad that Bruce doesn’t play more ninnies, because he is far more interesting when screeching like a girl, ala DEATH BECOMES HER.
The film actually sports some nice turns from the supporting cast. Terrence Dashon Howard, who got my firm attention for his fervent work opposite Jeffrey Wright in HBO’s great BOYCOTT, plays an accused fighter pilot who spouts a bunch of pious and patriotic crap. Marcus Iures, long since a stock Euro villain, makes a very good impression as the Commandant nemesis of Willis. Cole Hauser (Higher Learning, Pitch Black, Tigerland), a young actor of considerable presence, turns in a workmanlike performance as a racist soldier.
Well, getting down to brass tacks... do not see this movie unless there is some sort of an established peripheral reward system, or something. It really isn’t worth it.
That’s all I’ve got, for now.
