Ok, I'm gonna catch some shit for putting up Hallenbeck's list and response to the AFI, but I think this helps everyone see who the hell Hallenbeck is... Who is Hallenbeck, well if you listen to his comments about THE SEARCHERS and DANCES WITH WOLVES, he's a shit-for-brains 1st grade flunkee with a sagging depends drooping down his leg. But if you look at the scope of the piece you'll see that he is damn well versed in the classics. Now I want each and every one of y'all to write Hallenbeck (at hallenbeck69@hotmail.com) and tell the retard to watch SINGING IN THE RAIN and write a review. Friggin adolescent corncob reamer, I can't believe the guy goes to so many test screenings and yet he ain't familiar with SINGING IN THE RAIN. GO JOE GO!!!!!!!
Ok folks, right about now you must be bitchin' and complainin' about AFI's 100 Greatest Films List( I know I am). You hate the fact The Graduate placed higher than Star Wars or that The Exorcist wasn't on he list, but Fargo was. We can bitch and we can complain all wee want, but that ain't gonna change the fact that good ole Preston didn't have one flick on the List. I, for one, love these Lists. They may be inaccurate(to an extent), but they sure do get a rise out of people. When lists like these come about, it gives us(the buffs) and the regular Joe's a great conversation piece. We start to realize what a great film is and which ones we haven't seen. To quote from a Masterpiece, "The List is Life." I know I'll look at these films with more scrutiny(some of which I haven't seen).
The way I judge a film by it's greatness is as followed:
1) It has to be timeless. It has to hold up in any year and/or decade. It can't be too dated(unless it's a reflection of those times...ie Easy Rider).
2) It has to be influential in either our culture or the film industry itself. Something had to be "learned" or gained from it.
3) It has to be one fuckin good movie!
The following will be a quick over view of the list(I won't look at everyone). Following that will be the one's they missed(the ones that should've been there and the ones that are my personal favs). After that, will be the Mighty Joe's Greatest Films and his Favorites(Top 10 on both).
5) Lawrence of Arabia - #11 on my list. Incredible in every aspect but one -- Most People ain't ever heard of it. It's a shame too because this is a Masterpiece in every sense of the word. One reason why the Single Screen Movie Theater Should Exsist!!! I'll neve forget the scene where Larry flips out and yells, "No Prisoners! No Prisoners!" Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.
7) The Graduate - Three words, "What The Fuck?!" Great movie, but ain't no #7! Maybe in the 30's or 40's.
8) On the Waterfront - Give Me a fuckin' Break!!! This puppy belongs in the 50's, at best!
10) Singin' in the Rain - I hate musicals, so I can't agree with it's place in the Top Ten...I can, however, except the fact it is a Masterpiece and belongs in the Teens.
12) Sunset Blvd - Oh man, do I love this movie. I think this is the greatest script ever written(dialouge wise). Every line a classic...every character amazing! Billy at his best. Perfect placement!
17) The African Queen - I hate this fuckin Movie! It's boring. It has a bland A-line story and I hate the characters. I understand why it's one of the greatest, but I refuse to except it. Treasure is so much better, as are 99 other films!
33) High Noon - Why is this #33. Why isn't it in the Teens?!
35) It Happened One night - Dated, but why #35? Should be in the 20's!
36) Midnight Cowboy - This one pissed me off. Maybe in the 80's, but not #36!!!
37) Double indemnity - I truly hate this fuckin piece of shit! It's so corny and outdated. Touch of Evil and Out of the Past are so much better!!! Fred McMurray is wretchedly and laughably awful in this movie! Every time he says, "Baby"(which is every other word), I can't help but throw up!
39) Dr. Zhivago - great film, not no #39.
40) North By Northwest - My favorite Hitchcock. I'm so happy it's on the list. Sometimes it doesn't make it.
43) King Kong - This is a joke, right? They meant the 70's one(I'm joking here, people), not the 1933 Masterpiece, right? That one is in the Top 20, isn't it? Yeah, that it's...it's one giant joke at the expense of the Movie Geeks. Oh, you crazy sons a'bitches.
48) Jaws - Should be higher. Any movie that causes psychological trauma on people decades later should be at least in the 30's.
50) Butch and Sundance: The Early Years - Just kidding. You know which one I'm talking about. I think B&S is a fabu, but I agree with Harry on this one -- ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN SHOULD BE HERE INSTEAD!!!
53) Amadeus - Why don't we just throw in other 80's crapfests like Chariots Of Fire and Out of Africa?!!!
55) Sound of Music - I hate this MOVIE!!!!! I was so happy it was in the 50's! Woo-hoo!!!
56) MASH - Where's my Bat?!!! Somebody, get me my mother fuckin bat!!!!
58) Fantasia - Technically brilliant, but it ain't better than Bambi or The Little Wooden Boy.
60) Raiders of the Lost Ark - I was filled with glee when I saw this on the list. This movie is special to me(see last part of article). Most of the time it doesn't make it. Thank the Movie Gods it did!
61) Vertigo - #5 on my Hitch list. I was happy to see it so low on the list. Benny's score makes this movie a masterpiece!
64) CEOT3K - The most perfect sci-fi film ever! Just plain brilliant and oh-so believeable.
65) Silence of the Lambs - Like Harry said, in time it will move up.
72) Ben-Hur - I'm not a raving fan of the movie, but even I would have put it in the Top 25!
73)Wuthering Heights - Get the fuck out of here!
75) Dances with Wolves - I must be the only person who strongly believes this should be on the list. I had no desire to see the movie when it came out. I was forced to see it and I'm glad I did. I'll never forget how furious I was when it ended. I wanted it to go on and on. I went on this amazing journey with John Duunbar and I didn't want it to end. God, I HATE THE FUCKIN' POSTMAN!!!
78) Rocky - People forget how incredibly great and inspirational this movie is. Forget the sequels and watch the original again. It's truly a masterpiece. It wasn't about winning or losing...it was about going the distance.
79) The Deer Hunter - Great flick, but I prefer Deliverance.
82) Giant - Yeah, right! Like it belongs here.
84) Fargo - excuse me while I wretch.
87) Frankenstein - Another example of sex descrimination in Hollywood. The Mrs. is far better.
91) My Fair Lady - Give me a fuckin' break!!!
92) A Place in the Sun - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof should of been here.
93) The Apt. - It ain't that good.
95) Pulp Fiction - the most influential movie of the 90's. Even I would have placed it here.
96) The Searchers - It's sacrilage to say this, but The Searchers is an overrated piece of cow dung. Great cinematography...THAT'S ALL!!! The Duke may be cool, but he's a piss poor actor.
98) Unforgiven - Clint's Masterpiece. The perfect western. In years to come, it'll move up the list.
100) Yankee Doodle Dandy - Why isn't this higher?
Before I get into my next bit called, "What the Fuck Happened To...", I would like to do a little rant on the more current films on the list.
Some may say a movie must be 20 years to be considered a classic. I say BULLSHIT! You can tell a classic when you see it. Sure, some movies become dated, but if they are great, it doesn't matter. A story and characters can transend through time. A movie like Forrest Gump will be great 50 years from now. It's a timeless tale and a dark, brilliant satire of 20th Century American History(the latter half). So, a big Hallenbeck Finger to those who bitch about the more current movies on the list.
Now, here are a few flicks that should have been there in leui of others(namely Fargo and Mash):
Sullivan's Travels(The movie that Steve Martin refers to in Grand
Canyon)
Touch of Evil
White Heat(Top of the World, Ma!)
The Exorcist(Boy, am I pissed!)
Meet John Doe(I'm getting steamed)
Adventures of Robin Hood(It's corny and outdated. The Technocolor is
blinding as are the colorful costumes, but it belongs on the list!)
Bambi and Pinnochio
The following are my personal picks and don't neccessarily belong up there, but I think they are damn fine movies nevertheless:
Blazing Saddles - the funniest film ever!
Witness for the Prosecution - I was 10 when I first saw it and I loved it!
Goldfinger - Where's Jimmy Bond on the list?
Back to the Future - One of the great 80's flicks...entertainment wise.
Die Hard - The quintessential, most influential, modern day action flick. A Masterpiece!
Alien/Aliens - one of them should've made it. I was so pissed to see the lack of sci-fi, horror, action, and comedies on the list. It was 75% Drama...if not more!
Stand By Me - The 2nd greatest coming-of-age movie(behind Mocking Bird). I have seen this thing 50 times and it keeps getting better and better every time I see it. I HATE YOU RIVER PHOENIX FOR DYING ON US, YOU DUMB-FUCK!!!
Halloween - The masterpiece of horror. Truly started a genre of it's own. Also, it's one great movie!!!
The Fisher King - the movie I watch every X-Mas Eve. As years go by, this will become a classic(I'll see to it!).
A Face in the Crowd - One of my goals in this lifetime is make sure this incredible, forgotten masterpiece makes a Top 100 List(if not Top 10). See this movie!!! You'll never look at Sheriff Andy the same way again!!!
The next list contains what I believe are the greatest movies ever made. They're not my favs, nor did I put any "personal" thought into these picks. They are, in general, THE GREATEST FILMS EVER!!! They are movies that have stood the test of time and have become part of American Culture like George Washington and Apple Pie. They are what's right about movies.
10. Psycho
9. Schindler's List
8. ET
7. It's a Wonderful Life(a dark, bleak, honest look at small town life
in America)
6. Star Wars(perhaps, the most influential movie ever made!)
5. The Godfather
4. The Wizard of Oz
3. Casablanca
2. Gone with the Wind
1. Citizen Kane(Charles Foster Kane is my hero. I wish to pattern my
life after him. But, instead of "Rosebud" being my last words, it word
be, "LA REINA.")
The next and final list consists of The Mighty Joe Hallenbeck's 10 Favorite Films of all time. They are my favorite...not neccessarily the best, so I don't want to hear any bitchin'. These are the 10 movies I would take with me if I had to spend time with a lesbian on a deserted island.
10. Halloween
9. Total Recall
8. Batman
7. Die Hard
6. Star Wars
5. Big Touble in Little China
4. The Fisher King
3. It's a Wonderful Life
2. Citizen Kane
1. Raiders of te Lost Ark
There you have it. Many have requested, now you have received. I strongly believe you can tell a lot about a person by what their favorite movies happen to be. Now you know more about the Mighty Joe than you would've ever thought.
T.T.F.N.,
Joe Hallenbeck
hallenbeck69@hotmail.com
