There are a ton of trailers today and I decided to just lump them all together in a cornocopia of coming attractions. An original Leviathan of film and depravity coming your way below!!!! ENJOY!!!! hehehe was that too over the top?
SORORITY BOYS
Pain thy name is SORORITY BOYS...
THE SALTON SEA
Moriarty loved this movie so long ago that his review and recommendation of the film feels like a dream. Sometimes, the films we cover here at AICN are covered so early that it literally feels like the film is just a part of life. Like, when I first heard about someone seeing THE SALTON SEA, my nephew wasn't alive. Now he can walk and speak a little Spanish and English and a lot of baby speak. A good Val Kilmer movie? Well, of course it is, it has THE GUZMAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! in it! And the GUZMAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!! is God!
THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO
Ok, I can imagine some executive somewhere thinking the tagline "COUNT ON REVENGE" was like the greatest idea in the history of marketing films ever, but is it just me or is it impossible how far back your eyes rolled when you saw that in this trailer? I've heard that Kevin Reynolds has made a really solid MONTE CRISTO movie and that Luis Guzman really liked it a lot, and anything that the GUZMAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! likes, we must like, because he is our lord and sanctified protector and patron saint of Geeks. Lead on.
Somebody throw Michael Biehn a lifeline. Save the man. PLEASE! Michael Biehn is generally one of my 'lucky charms' in that I see him briefly in a trailer and I know the movie can't be all bad. But then I saw him in this and my phobia took over. Maybe my lucky charm is no longer magically deliciously cool. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.
ITALIAN FOR BEGINNERS
There is absolutely nothing in this trailer that even vaguely makes me want to see this film... even the quote from THE NEW YORK TIMES sounded bland and half-hearted... HOWEVER, I've heard this is a very good movie. And I suppose it is a tough concept to sell in a trailer, because it sure wasn't sold to me in this one.
DRAGONFLY
The latest in the 'ghost trying to tell the living something important' movies that have been flooding onto the market recently. DRAGONFLY with Kevin Costner doesn't look particularly great and the dumbest scene ever with the swarm of Dragonflys breaking the window just seems totally stupid, like gag me with a spoon dumb. But then a dragonfly shaped birthmark is like also really stupid to me too. Whatever, we'll see I suppose. I like this trailer more than the other one we'd seen.
40 DAYS & 40 NIGHTS
Josh Hartnett plays a guy that swears off sexual intimacy for Lent... 40 DAYS and 40 NIGHTS without sex. Now, does this guy just go down to the Star Wars line in Seattle and just become a geek? Does he just wander off into the desert? No, this bozo makes the profound error of telling 'friends' about his decision. They tell the world, and then woman kind decide to 'make the difference' . Then, of course, he meets the girl of his dreams and just has to be close friends with her till 'his time is up' and he's free to set that snake free. Ahem. Shannyn Sossamon plays the 'ideal girl' and for a goofy reason I'm actually wanting to see this one. Its stupid and inane and dumb... but maybe that's what I feel like watching when I see this trailer. Can't imagine it being really good, but there's something validating about watching Josh be the tortured dope. Its as it should be.
