AUSTINPUSSY!!!! See pics of the premiere in AUSTIN POWERS: GOLDMEMBER!!!

The line between real life and movieland sure has blurred for me this week. Last Friday I saw Mulholland Drive with a David Lynch Q&A afterwards. Saturday I saw Sean Penn at The American Cinematheque/Egyptian Theatre talking in-between screenings of The Indian Runner and The Pledge. Sunday I saw Black Hawk Down with Ridley Scott and Jerry Bruckheimer in a Q&A afterwards. And last night Hollywood Boulevard was a flutter in going-ons.

Lynch spoke at the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood as part of a special screening. The best thing about seeing Lynch, one of my movie heroes, were his hands. The man's hands just don't seem to stop! His fingers twiddle and reverberate like the tendrils on a sea anemone. It was great hearing him talk, though he spoke mainly about one thing: ideas. Have faith in your ideas. Follow them through to their conclusion (even if they leave audiences feeling inconclusive, apparently). When asked how he was able to make a successful movie out of a failed TV pilot, it was the ideas, he said. He doesn't question them, he can't give answers for them. Fair enough, Dave.

Meanwhile, Sean Penn has his first American retrospective going on at the Egyptian, and he spoke mainly about his experience directing at this screening. He was quite funny in a drawl kind of way. When asked by usual American Cinematheque interviewer Dennis Bartok if it was difficult raising funds for his first feature, he said, "Nope, not at all. But that was the first and last time. After that they knew what I was up to." When he was asked about whether there was interest in his next directorial project, he said, "Well right now I'm trying to convince the studio that it's a cross between Pretty Woman and Pearl Harbor but I don't think they're buyin' it." He said he knows what he wants to direct but didn't give any details.

Black Hawk Down was a screening for the Producer's Guild at the glorious Mann Village Theater in Westwood and the place was packed. After enduring Black Hawk Down I have to admit that I didn't stay for the entire Q&A. The host was Rob Cohen, who was introduced as being "the producer of the Stephen Speilberg films Always and Hook" among other things. Not the greatest track record. Unfortunately, Mr. Cohen seemed to have a large frog in his throat, or perhaps another amphibious creature, because he sounded about as scratchy as an old 78. Meanwhile the mics were set up about two feet from Bruckheimer and Scott, so all in all... way to go PGA! I have to say that while I was disappointed in the film, it was even worse listening to Ridley Scott talk about why he wanted to make the film. He talked about going to meet the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff with Bruckheimer, and how he had the military's backing in making a film that would correct the perception fostered by the press at the time that the US Army got it's ass kicked in Mogadishu (his words). That the press didn't allow the facts to come out before pronouncing defeat. That because the Clinton administration had just come into being and had this leftover situation from the Bush administration handed to them they pulled the troops out immediately, thus securing the view that we lost. He said he wanted to honor the men who died there. He wanted to point out that indeed the Rangers were the victors and that they completed their mission that day.

Meanwhile, the film fails to mention the press, or the aftermath. We're never told if the Rangers indeed got the right guys they were after. It's just 2 hours of solid bloodletting with no purpose and at the end there's some text that while 18 Americans died, over a 1,000 Somalis bit it hard. Rah rah rah.

It just seemed to me that when you've got Bruckheimer and the entire U.S. military by your side, you can't make a movie that delivers a message, just one with lots of death and 'splosions.

Finally, last night I went to see Carlito's Way and Hurlyburly, the last films in the Sean Penn series. No Q&A this time, just a great, great film followed by Hurlyburly, which... I just didn't need to see a second time.

A block down from the Egyptian they had Hollywood Blvd. closed down in front of the Ripley's Believe It... Or Not! building (I can't read those words without hearing Jack Palance in my head). I heard in advance that they were gonna have Jim Rose and the chick from Gwar stealing Dr. Megavolt's act (Burning Man, anyone?) but all I got to see was a man vacuuming out the contents of his stomach.

Down the street, however, Hollywood was also closed off in front of the Chinese Theatre. Which, by the way, has now gone back to being called Grauman's Chinese because next door they built a huge mall with it's own 6 theater multiplex so they've called that one the Mann's Chinese 6. But meanwhile, the place looks nothing like it did when it was originally called Grauman's Chinese because now there's this building looming over the courtyard and there's an escalator entrance where the side wall once stood and they've painted it a yucky gray and they've taken out the box office. I am not amused. What was amusing was that there was filming going on there for Austin Powers 3, while the production had large black tarp barriers blocking off the view, what was visible from the street was a large banner that read "Austin Powers in AUSTINPUSSY"! Hooray!

That's my week in Hollywood thus far. I heard about another Q&A tonight with Ron Howard talking after Beautiful Mind, but I think after 3 directors in three days I'm tapped out. Opie can live without me.

FGWells