Twas the night before Christmas and all through my house thoughts were dancing about THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING...

So I wake up a day or so ago to see IMDB listing LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING as the number one film of all time. Instantly I realize that this will polarize the people that have quibbles and genuine problems with the movie, while also giving supporters a feeling of righteousness in their emotional attachment to a film they have just fallen in love with.

As many of you know, I’ve been ready to love this movie for the past 5 years on this site, and I do. Upon seeing it a third time Wednesday, December 19th, 2001, I walked out with such a buzz I was just glowing.

I had been lucky enough to sit next to a father holding his 4 – 5 year old daughter on his lap while his 7 year old daughter sat on the other side of him. Normally this would terrify an average film geek, but for me. Well, I saw it as an opportunity to see how a little girl would react to this film. That’s something that I couldn’t really imagine, though I have many femme friends that claim they would’ve loved it, this is different. This IS that little girl they might have been. How would she handle this intense 3 hour film filled with a very complicated story? How many times would she run to the bathroom, as that was a full large drink she held in her lap. Yeesh.

She asked and/or pointed things out to her father just a couple of times through the film, and usually just as a whisper. This father raised her right. She was scared by Sauron, but with eyes big as saucers. She laughed at the fireworks in Hobbiton. When the Ring Wraiths were coming for Frodo and the other Hobbits, she pointed out to her father that the kids should run away. She saw the Hobbits as children. The film already had her projecting and associating with the Hobbits. Excellent. Her first real question came when she saw Bilbo so old at Rivendell, to which her father said, "He gave Frodo his magic ring, that kept him young." To which she did an "Oooooh," and nodded. In between all the ‘key moments’ she sat glued to that screen, not falling asleep, not going to the bathroom, just watching. By the time we were in Moria, as the intense moment between the Cave Troll and Frodo came her hands shot up to the sides of her face, she started to cry, and her father reminded her of Bilbo’s gift and she held on, just this side of blubbering. When the results of the fight were known she was all smiles, till… well the next bit. All the way through to Gandalf’s battle with the Balrog, she was sitting in a semi fetal position on her father’s lap with her eyes peeking over her knees. BIG EYES. When what happens on the bridge of Khazad Dum happens, she looked at her father, he explained why that had to happen, and she began silently crying while watching the movie. As they arrived at Lothlorien, she pointed at the screen and told her father, "Daddy, I want to live there!" EXCELLENT! Of course you do! She looked at Cate Blanchett with awe and wonder. Big smiles. She did get scared at that one moment with her, but was wide eyed. Boromir scared her at the end, but she clapped with the rest of the audience when the film ended.

After the showing her father asks me if I’m me, and I confirmed. He had read the site a few times and wanted the address again cuz he wants to read everything about LOTR on here. I looked at his two girls and asked them, "So did you like the movie?" The littlest girl shook her head up and down and the older daughter said, "I want to see it again" The father laughed and said they would.

Now, I was paying a great deal of attention to the film, but I was fascinated to see children so small at the film and was genuinely curious to see what they would think. How they would handle it. They loved it.

Watching her cuddle with her dad as the Ring Wraiths were going after Frodo and Arwen, her cheers when the river rose up against them. The fear of Christopher Lee and her concern for Gandalf, Frodo and the rest of the Fellowship throughout the film was a joy.

I can’t even imagine what this film would have done to me at that age. That was when I saw STAR WARS. I lost my mind then. Here. Dear God, I can’t imagine. I would have still reacted to Star Wars, that’s Pavlovian in me, but then… so is this.

Right now, it is Christmas Eve, I’ve just returned from the theater, I was headed for the 3pm showing of FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING. I stood in line, gleefully. I get up to the ticket window, "2 for FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING please!"

"We only have one seat left…….."

At that moment I looked at Dad as if to say, "Could you pick me up in 3 hours," but I could tell from his expression that he was thinking the same thing. Dagdangit. Sometimes the whole father as a geek thing has its draw backs.

I was actually disturbed by this news. My heart sunk. I keep watching the TV specials, these don’t help my condition. I keep getting phone calls from friends that call up to "Geek Out" over the film. Just about every conversation at least takes a thirty minute turn into Tolkien or Peter Jackson’s territory. It’s just terribly wonderful.

I check the various Tolkien related websites quite often, and I sit here like a friggin kid playing with these Toy Biz toys marveling (pun intended) that they don’t suck. I mean, think about that miracle. TOY BIZ, the company that made sucky X-MEN the movie toys, that goes out of their way to make everything look glossy, plastic and overly muscled. This company that I almost always am disgusted with actually did a damn fine job this time out. The Legolas with the arrow drawing action is cool. Gimli with axe breaking on the one ring action is just cool. The Boromir doesn’t quite do it for me, but the 4 wee Hobbits…. They’re pretty groovy, especially the Samwise Gamgee toy that comes with that great little diorama of the door to Balin’s Tomb with the rocking back and forth Goblin head and hand… and that skeletal figure off to the side. The Lurtz was a disappointment, but the Saruman and Gandalf kick ass. At last, after half a century of cool roles, I finally have a Christopher Lee action figure (though the one that Sideshow Toys is doing for THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN is gonna rule them all!). What I like about these figures is that they are indeed to scale, not only that, but the sculpting and the painting is pretty damn nice, my favorite is the Gandalf and Gimli… something about that Dwarvish armor… way cool. The Ring Wraith figure is great, but I need 8 more. And I haven’t been able to track down the Arwen on horseback or Ring Wraith on horseback yet. But I’ll have them someday.

I also have all these SIDESHOW sculpts… What marvels they are. I only have series one now, but hopefully my series two should be packed off and sent soon. My favorite out of the series in advance was Lurtz, and even when I first got them, I was just in awe of how good Lurtz looked. However, something magical happened the other day. I was headed to get all ready to go ALI and as I passed the "Lord of the Rings room" at Geek Headquarters…. Yes, it has gotten really really bad, it’s an illness now…. I looked in and saw my favorite moment with a toy, a sculpture, an anything ever.

I was in the dark labyrinthine DVD and VIDEO hallways of Geek Headquarters… It was about 5:45 in the afternoon. I gave a glance at the long display of Weta sculpts when my jaw just fell off. I made a noise with the intent of signaling my father. He came, he stood beside me and we just stared.

You know you hear about bleeding and crying Madonnas in churches in far off lands… You hear about Abe Lincoln’s face in a potato, but you never really expect to see a miracle bless an object of your very own.

Somehow, a shaft of light pierced through the venetian blinds isolated solely upon the tip of Gandalf’s Staff, it was blindingly stunning looking. It cast a glow in the darkness of the room. Lighting chiefly his face and the immediate figures around him, but the illusion was such as to give off the feeling that it was his magic light coming from the tip of his staff as if he were about to say, "Now we have but one choice … we must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard … there are older and fouler things that Orcs in the deep places of the world."

This utterly delighted me. I stared at it til it lost its light. The moment by which that rascally bird could see the keyhole had passed… ahem…

I believe the work being done by SIDESHOW/WETA to be the greatest work of figural artistry ever in the name of a feature film. I had this first set prior to the film, and I’d stare at them and wonder what the moments were from. Now, having seen the film 3 times… hehehe… Now I can see exactly where the poses came from. Three Dimensional Freeze Frames in time and brought down to a manageable scale.

I’ve also got all the different LORD OF THE RINGS movie tie-in books. I flip through them and giggle, revisiting moments in the film. Looking at those locales, those locations and remembering not just my memories of the few that I visited, but primarily their place in the context of the film. In choosing a memory, I choose the fantasy, for the fantasy is the dream of the world, not the reality of it.

I sit here in my room listening to the score over and over again, thinking about things like:

"Elen sila lumenn omentielvo…"

"It’s dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to … .."

"You have elected the way of pain…"

"What his right name is I’ve never heard: but he’s known round here as Strider."

"Let him go or I’ll have you Longshanks!"

"Lasto beth nin, tolo dan na ngalad."

"Noro Lim, Asfaloth, Noro Lim!"

"There is only one Lord of the Ring… only one who can bend it to his will … And he does not share power."

"Nin o Chithaeglir, lasto beth daer: Rimmo nin Bruinen dan in Ulaer!"

"Tobannen nur I dil, han neledh na chon in."

"I miss the Shire … I spent all my childhood pretending to be somewhere else – off with you, on one of your adventures. But my own adventure turned out to be something quite different … I’m not like you, Bilbo."

"The blood of Numenor is all but spent… it’s pride and dignity forgotten. Men are scattered … divided … leaderless."

"There is one who could unite them … One who could remake the line of Kings, who Men would follow."

"He turned from that path a long time ago. He has chosen exile …"

"I was there the day the strength of Men failed."

"Ash nazg durbaturluk, ash nazg gimbatul, Ash nazg thrakatuluk agh burzum-ishi krimpetul!"

"You do not just – walk into Mordor. The Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that never does not sleeps – the Great Eye is ever watchful. And if, by some miracle, you slip past by the Morannon – what then? What. There is nowhere to hide on the Plain of Gorgoroth – it is a barren wasteland riddled with fire, ash, dust – the very air you breath is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this – it is folly."

"Kuiva nwalka Karnirasse Nai yarvaksea rasselya Taltuva notto-karinnar"

"Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement … Even the very wise cannot see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many."

"I wish the Ring had never come to me … I wish none of this had happened."

"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring – beyond any design of its maker. In which case, you also were meant to have it … and that is an encouraging thought."

"They have taken the Bridge and the second hall; we have barred the gates – but cannot hold them for long … The ground shakes … drums, drums in the deep … We cannot get out. The are coming."

"They have a Cave Troll!"

"Let them come! There is one Dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath!"

"A Balrog – a demon from the Ancient world! This foe is beyond any of you! Run!"

"Do as I say; swords are no more use here."

"You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You Cannot Pass!"

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!"

"Fly you fools!"

ARGH!!!!!!! You see… you see what is in my skull? This is what Peter Jackson and his evil cadre of faithful followers have blessed upon us all.

For the first Christmas in all my life I care not for what is beneath a tree in sparkling paper or with decorative bows. I am not wishing for it to be Summer. I am wishing for the moment that I can sit for 9 hours and lose myself entirely to this odyssey.

I can not think of a time in recent memory where I was so possessed with love and adoration for a film. Where I notice the passage of time that I spend not watching it. I haven’t felt like this since I was a child, and I have seen many that share this feeling.

I spent hours here three nights ago with Dorothy Parker where from 7pm to 3:40am we sat and laid in my room lost in discussion and memories of seeing the film. The thoughts it touched off, the memories of dreams dreamt long ago. She said it was as if an invisible hand touched her shoulder and a voice whispered, "Remember this dream?"

That’s what this film is like for me, a lost dream discovered and given light.

I look forward to seeing this film a great many times more in theaters. I am dying to see the trailer for TWO TOWERS that will come in 4 to 6 weeks. Can you imagine. There are 2 more to come. Two more Christmas’ of joy and discovery.

Do I hate the wait? Dear God No! The wait is the joy of it all, for two long years we, you and I, will be sharing this journey. Talking about it, screaming our opinions at one another. Whispering hopes and shouting our thoughts. In and amongst all of that we have our regular allotment of Star Wars and Superhero and unique films… but for the next two years we have something new to add to the stew of geekdom. We have LORD OF THE RINGS.

Is it the best of them all, some will say yes. Some will say no. And from that place conversations will grow, thoughts will be planted and maybe inspiration will bear fruit.

After such a long dark year of sorrow, it is so nice to sit here an hour from Christmas with my thoughts wrapped around something so wonderful. I wish each of you the very best Christmas you can have. For those of you seeing LORD OF THE RINGS today, I envy you. As I rip open each present, I will be thinking about what you are watching.

Merry Christmas.