Harry here with the debut of the vundrful Ms. Betty Pancakes. What an enchantress! She calls me her 'dear'!!! I'm so excited. She must love me. Yes, that's it. She loves me. She loves me, and she will only grow to adore me more and more, until that wonderful bright sunny day when she calls me her 'Googily Bear'!!! Ah, to dream the impossible dream. Sorry, I forgot, she was subjected to NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE which she found scatologically illogical. Ah, the ol Walt Disney Mickey Mouse route! Cool. ahem. Yeah. Let's see what others end up saying 'bout this one... But I certainly hope this angel returns to the page!
Hi Harry-
Ms. Betty Pancakes here. I've been meaning to send you an e-mail for over a year now and, honestly dear, this is my very first chance. Every now and again I've opportunity to be exposed to some inside information that might add to the deliciousness of your site and I slapped myself foolish for not sending it to your attention. Just recently, I was at a screening of NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE and I felt compelled to report to you immediately. Now Dear, it was a work print screening for what I assume to be an audience of teen extras so the quality of both the print and the audience was not the very best. I will tell you that at the beginning of the film, the audience ("Auds", as I like to call them) where gassed up for the ride but revealed their disdain audibly outside the lobby in their post screening smoke. Many of the teen auds felt compelled to leave and drink great quantities of beer. I very nearly joined them.
Now, Ms. Betty Pancakes loves a satire, a spoof an over-the-top romp skewering the staples of pop culture but Darling, is it too much to ask for the romp to be funny? Mr. Moritz, who is, in part, responsible for snagging the adolescent dollar from many a pimply faced boy and girl, produced this promising premise into a forgettable, tired and grating mess of a film. Shame on you Neil! The gags are geared to the pee pee poo poo auds but surely the film will be R-rated. So, who is the audience? Anyone over eight will be bored out of their minds. I shutter to even call the movie offensive because, in my mind, that makes it all the more appealing, but truly, it's too boring to be offensive. The scatological gags go on and on, there's no such thing as restraint for the sake of a laugh. The joke is played, drawn out, expanded, stretched, repeated and meditated on to it's own chunky brown conclusion. And, the torture doesn't stop there. The filmmakers even find a way to make nudity and voyeurism yawn inducing.
JAIME PRESSLY and CHRIS EVENS are the only cast that really stand out and MOLLY RINGWALD'S surprise appearance only fortifies the filmmaker's lame attempt to exploit the gross un-originality and banality that fevers this film. It's too painful to even mention RANDY QUAD as the father. It's just too painful.
In a heroic effort, I will venture back into my memory and try to put the obliterated pieces of the plot together for you and your readers. Drawing from the original "Slums of Beverly Hills" and "Sixteen Candles," the film opens with a boorish "girl-caught-with-a-vibrator" scene where she happened upon by every member of her family and then some.
I'll stop here and will continue if you find this information helpful to your readers.
Until then Harry, much love,
Ms. Betty Pankcakes
