Published at: Oct. 31, 2001, 4:15 p.m. CST by staff
Want to be scared? Terrified? Frightened stiff? Mortified?
It is October 31st and MGM has released online the most accurate consolodation of the pain that was the experience of watching ROLLERBALL.
Now as you watch this horrid trailer I want you to notice a few things.
First: The costumes suck ass.
Second: You really get no sense of how the game is played.
Third: Rebecca Stamos' nude back, while noticing that and hoping and praying that in the film she's a half second from turning around and giving you a peek at that wondrous rack... Well forget it, MGM has butchered the nearly worthless R-rated version of this film to a now completely worthless PG-13 Lysol sprayed steaming log of corn encrusted doo.
Fourth: Notice how every single line you hear from Chris Klien is delivered with the emotion impact of a bored high school student. That's the entire performance folks.
Fifth: See where they tell you that 'these three players are the best'? Well two of them ride motorcycles and are never even a part of the scoring or defense process. In fact other than providing materials that can spontaneously explode on the track, I'm not real sure what they do in the game.
Sixth: Notice the editing. That's very accurate to what you'll see for the entire length of this eye staggeringly inept flick.
Seventh: See how Jean Reno is bugging his eyes out and acting like Raul Julia in STREET FIGHTER? That's very apt.
