Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Am I going to see this in the theater? Oh, HELLS, yes. And am I going with a big group of friends? You bet your blunt I am. Blaxploitation horror with Snoop Dogg and Pam Grier? Man, just try and keep my ass away.
Howdy, everyone...
Thinking about seeing 'Bones' this weekend? Think the trailer looks really cool? Well...so did I...
I have to admit, I was a little excited about this film. An urban ghost story starring Snoop Dogg? And directed by Ernest Dickerson? Sign me up!
Unfortunately, 'Bones' is a good idea gone straight to hell. It follows the classic blaxpoitation storyline: a brother gets wronged by the man, and comes back for revenge (back from the dead, in this case). Snoop Dogg plays Jimmy Bones, a 70's mobster with a heart of gold who gets offed by some drug dealers and a crooked cop. Flashforward to the present, where some kids decide to reinnovate Bones' old mansion, a creepy old building in what has become a grungy ghetto, and turn it into a dance club. Neither the frightened locals (including a psychic Pam Grier) nor the bloody claw marks and recently-removed human jaw they find inside the building dissuade them from their plans, and so of course they end up inadvertently waking the ghost of Jimmy Bones.
So it's a nice, albeit shaky setup. Strange happenings begin to occur, the kids learn that their parents have more to do with the whole situation than they thought, and then...
MAGGOTS.
I won't go into details, but I will say I almost lost my lunch. And I usually don't have a problem with that kind of thing. It's not scary, it's just downright unpleasant, and from that point on, the film went downhill.
But once Snoop Dogg makes his grand entry (signaled by the aforementioned maggots), what could have been a really fun horror film becomes a mean, nasty movie. One problem is that 'Bones' doesn't seem to stick to killing those who killed him; he goes after innocents as well. He's painted as a saint in the flashbacks, so how come he's so evil when he comes back? In horror movies, a lot of people die without deserving it, but how is the audience supposed to respond when they're supposed to feel sympathetic for them and the psycho who's killing them.
Ernest Dickerson deserves a lot better than this; his work as Spike Lee's cinematographer was magnificent, and his directorial debut, the Tales >From The Crypt film 'Demon Knight,' was pretty darn good. Since then, his career seems to have languished. His talent is up there on screen; the film looks great, the special effects are great and frequently really scary (a million times better than anything in 'The Haunting,' especially the depiction of hell), and the cast is appealing. But he lets film slip out of his control.
Snoop Dogg also deserves better; he's a good actor, and his presence in films shouldn't be considered stunt casting. But he doesn't get to do much here. He was far more menacing in his small role in 'Baby Boy.' Heck, he showed more range in the few minutes he was onscreen in 'Training Day.'
I guess, with Halloween right around the corner, 'Bones' might end up being an entertaining way to spend ninety minutes this weekend with a packed audience. I just don't think it has what it takes to be a real crowd pleasing horror film. It has it's moments, but it's just not very much fun.
I don't want to deterr anyone from seeing this film and judging it for themselves, but -- if you have any problems WHATSOEVER with maggots, don't even think about it; stay far, far away. To those of you who see it anyway, well, don't say I didn't warn you.
That's it for now. For more of my reviews, and for a heaping helping of indie filmmaking information, check out my site, www.road-dog-productions.com
--Ghostboy
Even after that review, I am there with a 40 in a brown paper bag, and I’m gonna get TORE UP!! Whoo-hoo!!
"Moriarty" out.
