Folks, Harry here... Young Quint is no longer with us. He has been lost into the frozen tundra of Canada... Vancouver, which is somewhere in Montreal unfortunately I think. The youthful squirt has found cheap femme flesh and the taste of satan's own juice... That's right, he no longer need retain that hymen against alcohol, as he has ventured into the domain of legalized debauchery... I weep for the loss of innocence... To think of the bastards he shall leave in the seedy igloos of the North Country... beware the seed of Quint... Oh, and here's his last innocent review... JOYRIDE... somehow... tis fitting...
Ahoy there, squirties. Everybody's favorite crusty ol' sea salt, Quint, here reporting in from my world travels to fill you fine folks in on the new killer truck driver thriller opening everywhere soon, Joyride. As I'm typing this I'm sitting in the Salt Lake City airport. I'm currently serving the first hour of a 3 hour layover, itching to get to my final destination, Vancouver. I'll fill you folks in on the details of this trip in the very near future, but as for now... let's get on to Joyride.
The flick stars Leelee Sobieski (I probably fucked that one up. Sue me, I don't have access to IMDB), Paul Walker and Stephen Zahn. You've seen the trailer, you should know what it's about. Not a wholly original premise, that of a couple of happy go lucky early 20-somethings on a road trip finding themselves in a world of shit as a big rig from hell and its evil, unseen, driver start to chase them down.
Being the early Spielberg whore that I am, I immediately wrote this film off as being a Duel rip-off when I saw the trailer. I was willing to give the movie a chance, but had no expectation that it'd be anything but what the trailer made it out to be.
I have to give the movie a bit of credit. While it does have some big similarities to Duel, it is not the blatant rip-off that it appeared to be from the start. It's more of a combination of Duel and Breakdown, though it does end up leaning a lot more towards the Duel side.
So, what'd I think of this movie? It's a fun flick, but with one rather large flaw... the ending. The whole movie is well shot, very well edited, well acted and directed... You know, it's a snappy movie that keeps building the suspense, gradually getting more intense as the film continues. The menace of the truck and its driver is handled very well. There's a red herring or two that you can see a mile away, but they still come off as enjoyable.
The fact that the movie IS handled so well is what kills me. They spent so much time making you care about these characters, making you fear that damned truck, making you start to edge off your seat, that when it comes time to deliver the final blow you're ready to explode... but then they stumble. It killed me. A friend of mine who was at the screening said it was like jerking off to the point of climaxing... getting right up to the edge... just a few more seconds to go... then having your mother call or knock on the door. The lead up to one of the greatest jerks you've ever given yourself, no matter how much you enjoyed it, is totally ruined by the lack of resolution.
The ending is abrupt. I don't mind abrupt endings. I thoroughly enjoyed Jeepers Creepers, which had a very abrupt ending. The difference being that while Jeepers Creepers had an ending that defied modern American horror rules, Joyride's ending is beyond clichéd and predictable.
Now I know I've been slamming the ending of this film quite a bit, but I do have to give the movie its credit. Besides the ending, they did everything right. The casting is perfect. I've never been a big Paul Walker fan, but after the double whammy of The Fast and the Furious and Joyride he's kinda changing my opinion of him. I look forward to his next movie now. Whether or not I expect it to be great is another matter, but this is a gradual change. If he keeps pickin' them like he's been doing, I'll reach that stage.
Stephen Zahn... I've always found him funny, but I usually don't like the movies he's in. He's very good in this flick. His line delivery sounded awful in the trailer, but I came to find that they cut up a lot of different lines of his from throughout the movie to put in the trailer. His timing is as on as it usually is and he even fits his style of comedy perfectly into this movie. The gimp scene still brings a smile to my face.
Leelee... hmmmmmm. Cute name, even cuter girl. And you know what? Not only is Leelee herself in this movie, she brings a couple friends along for the majority of the movie. I swear to God... I don't know if they did this intentionally, but her nipples were poking out through almost all of this movie. Now, that's not a film flaw... not by a damn sight. But they're there. Keep a look out for 'em. Anyway, she's in the movie and she's good as usual, although she's not given the best dialogue and character in the world. There are points where you want to smack her for being the stupid girl, but she does her best to make those moments as painless as possible.
The gore... not much in the movie. There is one absolutely great shot that made me cringe... a character had his jaw ripped off... and we see him with half a face! It's a very brief, but very effective shot. Other than that... there's some blood, but not much else. Like I said above, the movie was counting more on the pacing, the threat of violence and/or gore than the actual delivery of it.
In the end, I have to recommend seeing this film. There's too much good in it to throw the whole thing away. And who knows... maybe the ending won't be as terrible to you. Maybe I'm the asshole who "didn't get it." I don't think so, but my opinion is only guaranteed to be right for myself. I'd advise to catch it at a matinee if at all possible, but I think that you'll have some fun with it.
Sorry to cut it short, squirties, but it's getting increasingly busy in this airport and it's a bit hard to concentrate with all those fucking announcements. "Would John P. Asshole please report to gate 14?" I think you got the gist of what I was saying, though. Keep yer eyes on the horizon, mates, fer this crusty ol' seaman has some really cool reports to share with you, including some interviews, an awesome set visit and a little series about Massawyrm and Quint's Big Adventure in LA. 'Til that day, squirts, this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu.
-Quint
