Well here comes super spy, MORIARITY with a report on all things SONY. Seems there are signs of incompetence showing their heads over in the Sony Lot. Rumors of the death of Sony Imageworks, a brilliant effects unit helmed by two of the absolute geniuses in the field. Shanagins all over the place, plus a look at films like STUART LITTLE, and a review of MASK OF ZORRO. Sony should really listen to Moriarity here, one of the key stupid things Warner Brothers did in their dive into the concrete of the empty swimming pool they built, was killing Warner Digital. Don't be stupid Calley and Lee...
"Moriarity" here. It's been a busy week here in Hollywood for this particular super-genius. I'm preparing a grand experiment that begins this August 1st... my first film. With this particular concoction of mine, I plan to pervert the thought processes of average god-fearing filmgoers everywhere. This is the moment when I begin my takeover of this town.
One of the first things I'm going to have to do as Supreme Ruler of Hollywood is make up my Friends and Enemies lists. This is important, of course. Problem is, there are certain people and studios about which I have mixed feelings.
Primary among them right now is Sony. Now, I happen to love the Sony lot. I remember the Culver Studios before Sony poured the money in to rennovate the place, and I can say that they've done a fabulous job bringing it up to speed. For a while, this legendary lot (which has belonged to Sony and MGM in the past, and which has housed films like GONE WITH THE WIND and THE WIZARD OF OZ) was run-down and crappy. I remember when they were shooting HOOK here. It was a dive. Now it's a really great lot, modern, clean, easy to navigate. Sony's put a lot of care into making sure that people like working here. I remember one afternoon during TITANIC's post-production when my partner in crime and I bumped into James Cameron in the ice-cream shop. That's the sort of thing that would have never happened before Sony came in.
Last summer, it really looked like John Calley, Christopher Lee, Kevin Jones, and the other major brass over there had figured it all out. Sure, they were releasing Mark Canton's left-overs, but they were doing it so well. Their great performance lasted through Christmas, when they did a brilliant job opening and maintaining AS GOOD AS IT GETS. This year's slate looked strong on paper, complete with the only can't-miss hit of 1998, GODZILLA.
Well, it's late Sunday night as I write this, and it looks like GODDAMNZILLA (as an accurate young friend of mine called it recently) is on track to miss. Amazing. How could this studio manage their campaign so aggressively but not notice how bad their film was? How could they not take action to fix it?
Or did they? Y'see, I've been talking to some little birdies over at Sony, and there's some things that you're not supposed to know about how this particular football found its way into the end zone. For instance, Sony Imageworks is particularly pissed about the way their contribution to the film is being handled. Their role on the picture has been described by Sony and by Demmerich (the combined entity) as "clean-up" work. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! "Clean-up," my eye. "Ass-saving" work is more like it. Demmerich and Centropolis were working with motion-capture as late as this Christmas. It wasn't until they abandoned this costly and ultimately ineffective technique that they were able to get moving in earnest. As a result, they were WAAAAAY behind schedule. They had originally vowed to have their whole picture done in-house by Centropolis' own team. This plan went out the window, though, due to time constraints, and Sony got Imageworks involved.
The Imageworks team was kept out of the loop, though. They were only allowed to refer to the film as "Barney" inhouse, and they weren't even shown dailies of the work they were doing. They would turn it over to Centropolis and see it vanish. This would seem odd, considering that Sony owns Imageworks, right?
Well... not exactly. Here's where it gets tricky. See, Sony also owns Centropolis FX... lock, stock, and barrel. In fact, there is ownership built into Ken Ralston's Imageworks deal which gives him control that Centropolis doesn't have. In other words, Sony makes more money off of, and has more control over, Centropolis as an FX branch.
Right now, Sony is gearing up on a picture called STUART LITTLE that I reported on here months ago. STUART is a family film, but a hell of a well-written one. M. Night Shyamalan is the author of this adaptation of E.B.White's classic about a little mouse who is adopted by humans and raised as their child. The script that I read, the first draft, got a green light, and deserved it. Smart, literate, with a real sense of wit and imagination, it was a perfect showcase for the gifted team of character animators that Sony has spent the last few years putting together.
They hired Rob Minkoff, one of Disney's former great animators and directors, to make his live-action (sort of) debut with STUART, and set to work designing the picture. Sony Imageworks, of course, would be providing the effects.
Flash forward to now, when that isn't such a clear-cut thing anymore. There's buzz in the air that STUART may go to CENTROPOLIS for economic reasons. That's a mistake. The weakest element of the Goddamnzila design is the creature's lack of character. It's just a big stupid lizard. So what? Goddamnzilla doesn't charm us. He doesn't engage us. There's nothing there to believe. There's also buzz that Minkoff may have been messing with the STUART script, making it more of a smart-ass, mainstream romp. This is another mistake. The first draft would win America's heart then break it. To slap a bunch of dumb ANIMANIACS style pop culture jokes into the film would be to break its back. Don't kill the script.
Also, don't kill your FX house and make the same mistake Warner did. They didn't even have a fallback plan. Yours sucks, though. Sony Imageworks has some of the best talent I've ever seen assembled in one team. Make these people happy. Keep them. Put them to work. You lost the STAR TREK 9 assignment even after your work on STARSHIP TROOPERS got you ILM's recommendation on the project. Why? I can only guess mismanagement. Sony needs to get behind these guys and get aggressive. John Dykstra and Ken Ralston are in one place. Make the most of them!! Fuck Centropolis. They haven't proven anything yet. I thought the GODZILLA work was spotty, with that rain used to hide an awful lot that they shouldn't have had to hide. Imageworks is a company that's built to last. Centropolis is a short-term better deal that will eventually bite the studio in the ass.
In the midst of me being horrified and angered by all of this incompetence, one of my Sony friends tries to calm my fevered evil genius brain by showing me an advance copy of THE MASK OF ZORRO.
It worked. I'm going to have to switch gears here 100% and just say how great I thought this film was. Hats off to Amblin', Martin Campbell, Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and especially Antonio Banderas for all working so hard to get this right.
THE MASK OF ZORRO starts with the "James Bond" shot that's in all the trailers... him walking out in front of that white light, silhoetted as he slashes his trademark Z into the screen. We then shock cut to a black cloth. Two holes are cut into it from the opposite side, and we see two eyes lean in to peer through. After that iconic first shot, Martin Campbell demonstrates total control of this genre by creating a classic opening scene of the old Zorro's last ride. As played by Hopkins, this Zorro is charismatic and commanding, and there's some great swashbuckling right up front. The bad guy is hissable from his first scene. I wish I knew the actor's name, but I don't. Compliments to him for not hamming it up Rickman style. He's an authentic character whose decisions aren't made just to be evil. He's understandable, even sympathetic in a way. In the end, though, he's wrong. Just how wrong becomes evident when he arrests Hopkins and destroys his world. I won't say how... just that it sets up the stakes for this film as very high indeed.
There are two boys in that first scene who we meet again twenty years later as Antonio Banderas and his brother, infamous bandits. There's a little Leone-style humor with these guys scamming a blockade of soldiers, but the laughs end quickly when the film's other major bad guy arrives onscene and kills Banderas' brother.
It's not long before the older Hopkins, who's now escaped from jail, and the bitter Banderas find each other and, working together, bring Zorro back to life. The evolution of their mentor/pupil relationship is handled well, unfolding in a totally credible manner. When Banderas makes Hopkins pround, he seems genuinely delighted, even surprised. For once, I buy this cliche completely. They both give as good as they get.
Campbell segues from one set piece to the next seamlessly, and the characters all actually behave like real people. The attraction between Banderas and Zeta-Jones is natural and real, and you find yourself rooting their connection istead of just waiting for it. I know several writers had their hands on this script, but it doesn't show. It's not painfully self-aware of being a modern film. In fact, there's a lack of cynicism about the whole thing that's refreshing. This is a melodrama in the best sense of the word, a story about passion and justice and love and revenge. The stunt work is superb and the swordplay is duly impressive.
This is going to be the film that finally launches Banderas into real stardom, over the top. There will be no return to anonymity after this. I've never used this phrase before, but he was literally born to play this role. I can't picture any other actor working right now playing this role this well.
"But there's no FX," I can hear some people groaning already. You're right. There really aren't, since wire removal work doesn't count. There are plenty of thrills, though. These action scenes remind me of the way Jackie Chan's action scenes are built. There's a clarity of action, a wit, a real sense of specific gags building, paying off, building, paying off. The scene where Banderas first steals his horse Tornado is a great example.
I will see this again opening day on the best screen I can find. I loved this film and would recommend it to anyone who's looking for pure fun in a theater this summer.
So where does that leave me in regards to my feelings about Sony? Hell if I know. On the one hand, they can screw up films like DINOTOPIA and STUART LITTLE and even GODDAMNZILLA that should be development cakewalks, and they can make lamebrain decisions as well as anyone at Warner Bros. On the other hand, they can pull it together and knock ZORRO out of the park. What's the final verdict?
I guess I'll have to watch APT PUPIL next and find out. I should be finding time between all my other total-global-domination activities in the next few days to do just that, and I'll write you when I have.
Until then, I hear the timer in the kitchen. Anthrax must be done. I guess that means it's time to say...
"Moriarity" out.
