Hey Folks, I'm Naked Typing to you while Quint whispers in my ear.... Actually, that's not entirely true... I have a sheet on. Oh wait, that's not true anymore.... Can you tell I'm really bored. I am. I've been in this room for... What month is it? Oh yeah, January... Ok... Someday my back will heal and sunshine will glisten in my matted hair. Ah... To dream. Meanwhile, Prankster is in Toronto, watching killer fucking movies all day long.... No fair. Me wanna watch movies all day long.... Oh... I do.... I mean, in theaters... Oh... I do.... I mean Toronto new movies... Yeah, that'll do babe... that'll do...
JOY RIDE
Directed by John Dahl, Starring Paul Walker, Steve Zahn, LeeLee Sobieski
We've had a lot of teen horror flicks lately, starring marketable planks of wood like Freddie Prinze, Jr. and whatsername and you know, that guy. From the show? But what saves Joy Ride is - da da-da-daaa! Steve Zahn.
Zahn is hilarious from start to finish as his trademark shlumpfy, slightly whiney wisecracker. Wow, that didn't sound appealing at all, did it? But if you've seen Out Of Sight or That Thing You Do you know Steve Zahn. He's at his best here as Fuller, the brother of college kid Lewis (Walker), who's just got out of jail. Lewis happens to be in the neighbourhood he's making a cross-country trip to reunite with an old crush (Sobieski, who now not only looks like Helen Hunt but is beginning to sound and act like her as well.)
On the way, for a lark, Fuller hooks up a CB radio and, also for a lark, plays a gag on a trucker by the handle of 'Rusty Nail'. Unfortunately, turns out ol‚ Rusty is some kind of psychopath, and the gag ends in violence. And now the pranksters have a gigantic semi barreling after their car, out for revenge --
Wait. This sounds familiar somehow.
OK, so it's not a total ripoff of 'Duel'. Rusty has a motivation (not to mention a voice) and he‚s more of the "plays sadistic headgames" variety than the "squash 'em flat for no particular reason" variety.
Some sharp dialogue and characters who don't do blithely idiotic things (well, other than playing a mean prank on a gravel-voiced stranger named "Rusty Nail") elevate this one. Walker and Sobieski acquit themselves, though I have no doubt that they'd fumble it if the script didn't help them. The real treat is Zahn, who provides more than a mere comic sidekick; he actually acts, showing us a character who slides deeper into desperation as he uses all the tricks up his sleeve one by one and still can't extract himself. What's more, the humour never detracts from the thrills; Fuller hides behind his humour in a believable way, and doesn't say anything someone in that situation wouldn't reasonably say. Nor does he make any meta-bopping pop culture references ("In horror movies they always do this--" and so forth.)
There's also something strangely enigmatic and appealling about the ending, though the more cynical among you will scream that it's a blatant setup for a sequel (though, don't horror movies HAVE to end ambiguously? I mean, a horror flick with a happy ending?)
If you're not completely sick of this genre, this'll be worth a rental.
FROM HELL
Directed by the Hughes Brothers, Starring Johnny Depp and Heather Graham
FLEE. FLEE IN TERROR FROM THE BADNESS.
Never mind that there's no reason for this movie to be called "From Hell" instead of "Generic Ripper Movie". Never mind that they "keep the killer's identity secret". Never mind that you can figure out who it is within twenty minutes anyway if you've ever seen a movie before.
Never mind that the conspiracy has been blown up to ludicrous Hollywood proportions. Never mind that the stuff about the architecture and occult influences on London are gone. Never mind that John Merrick's appearance has been reduced to a really pointless and unimaginative cameo.
Never mind that they change details for no reason, thus destroying the historical authenticity. Never mind that Depp looks nothing like Abberline, or that the character has been completely changed. Never mind that he's now a psychic opium addict (and he's *really* psychic, too, not faking it).
Never mind that Heather Graham is never required to do anything icky, despite being a prostitute. Never mind that this removes the character's entire point and reduces her to the standard love interest/victim. Never mind that she and Depp now have a totally cliched Hollywood romance.
Never mind that the whole story has become a really lame, formulaic police procedural/serial killer movie on the level of "The Watcher".
Never mind that there's actually a "hand in your badge" scene. Never mind the lame-ass imagery.
NEVER MIND IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE COMIC.
It still sucks. Hard.
Flee.
NOSFERATU: A SYMPHONY OF TERROR
Directed by John Malkov..I mean W. F. Murnau, Starring Max Shreck, Gustav von Wangenheim, Greta Schroder
Now this is cool.
One of the more anticipated events of the festival, this was a screening of the silent classic with a restored print, and - this is the really cool part - the Toronto Symphony Orchestra accompanying it LIVE with the original score.
I hadn't seen the film, and this was pretty much the ideal circumstance to pop my cherry on it, so I actually paid money to get in.
Well, the film is timeless and iconic. It's also pretty darn funny -- let's just say the art of film acting hadn't exactly peaked yet in the 20s. I love the scene where the hero, Thomas (von Wangenheim), reads the conveniently provided "Book of Vampires" in his hotel room and "acts skeptical", going so far as to throw the book across the room and frolic with carefree gaiety. Then there's Ellen (Schroeder), who "cannot resist looking in the book" and goes so far as to almost pass out. And Mr. Knock, the movie's answer to Renfield, is hilarious from start to finish.
Still, it's hard to deny that there's an ethereal power at work; Orlok‚s makeup and Schreck's acting made for a classic character who is still rather creepy, and there are some joltingly original techniques being put to use. Someday someone will make a really scary modern silent horror flick, and this will inevitably be the template.
Though I must admit, I prefer "Metropolis".
Prankster
